BREAKING NEWS: Trump's FBI pick pitches new slogan for the agency
Last edited Mon Dec 2, 2024, 11:19 AM - Edit history (1)
BREAKING NEWS: Trump’s FBI pick pitches new slogan for the agency
President-elect Donald Trump’s recent decision announcing he plans to replace current FBI Director Christopher Wray (who Trump himself appointed in 2017) with longtime Trump loyalist Kash Patel has made waves both inside and outside of DC. But the man tapped for the job has himself seized on the opportunity to rebrand the 91-year-old agency in his own personal image.
Patel, who served as the Chief of Staff to the Secretary of Defense during Trump’s first term, is no stranger to marketing, as he has used his personal name to sell everything from vitamin supplements to leather jackets to even children’s books. And it is this particular mindset that Patel seeks to bring to the next post at which he intends to serve.
“Behind every memorable brand is an even more memorable slogan,” Patel said on a recent interview with Fox News. “Nike. Coca-Cola. You name it. So why shouldn’t the FBI be any different?”
With that, Patel revealed his proposed new tagline for the agency: Federal Bureau of Investigation—Kash Gets Busy.
“Think about it,” Patel explained. “What’s more reassuring to Americans than to let them know that the FBI has countless busy bodies out there working to take down the oppressive Deep State that’s lurking behind the shadows?”
“FBI: Kash Gets Busy will signal a brand-new era in federal law enforcement,” Patel continued. “No longer will it be restricted to simply investigating normal violations of federal law. Under the new Trump administration, FBI: Kash Gets Busy will be able to expand its powers to go after the people who are the true enemies of the state, and whose treachery has revealed itself through such nefarious means as Russiagate and the January 6th Select Congressional Committee.”
Patel’s FBI: Kash Get Busy project will rely heavily on past methods utilized in the agency’s Hoover era: file documentation on various subjects and the compilation of lists.
“If you are an enemy of President Trump, be warned that no place will be safe for you,” Patel said. “FBI: Kash Gets Busy will be on your phones. In your homes. Tracking your car. In your hotel rooms wherever you travel. We will make sure to get to know each and every one of your neighbors who will report to us on all your activities. And if any of those neighbors don’t want to play ball with us, you can be sure there will be place for their own name to be put on an FBI: Kash Gets Busy list.”
Besides Trump critics, other proposed targets of FBI: Kash Gets Busy activities include media organizations, labor unions, environmental protection groups and civil rights activists. FBI: Kash Gets Busy will also ramp up foreign intelligence operations and will even work to embed secret agents pretending to be native citizens of other countries.
Despite these lofty plans, Patel admits that his vision still remains very much something of a work in progress.
“I’m still not 100% set on the name,” Patel said. “For example, I was also thinking of going with FBI: Now Kash Vanquishes Dissent.”
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