I would have loved to have had grandchildren.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

But my life didn't work out that way. One of my two sons is no longer with us. The other has zero interest in relationships, will always be contentedly single. I refer to him here as My Son The Astronomer. He's a wonderful son and astronomer. But zero kids in his future.

Here's the thing. I've become glad in recent years that I will have no grandchildren, and won't need to worry about their futures, or the futures on their children. Trust me, I'm NOT in any way suggesting others shouldn't have grandchildren. At my age I know plenty of grandparents, and I would never say to them what I'm saying here. Still, my fears of the future are such that I'm glad I didn't have grandchildren.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. Ah, my dear PoindexterOglethorpe . . .

[elleng]

2. I have four, and worry for them every hour.

(Shopped for birthday, Hanukkah and Christmas today.)

[leftieNanner]

3. I have two daughters

No grands yet. (I have a grand-horse).

If I were 30 years old now, I don't know if I would have children. It's a scary world out there.

[regnaD kciN]

4. I'm in much the same boat...

Neither of my children have any interest in relationships or having kids of their own. There have been times when I regretted that I would never get to be "grandpa." But, with all the world is facing now...I guess I'm worried enough that my youngest will have to go through any of it themselves.

[zuul]

5. Me too.

One adult child who lives in Europe. She loves it there, has no plans to ever live in the U.S. again, and doesn’t want kids.

I desperately wanted a grandchild until a couple years ago. Now it’s a relief that I don’t have any.

[NJCher]

6. sometimes I do the wise thing

The number of times per day that I say "I'm so glad I don't have children" has decreased to about two per day now that I have stopped watching MSNBC, watching the ABC Evening News, and reading U.S. newspapers.

Back in the day, it was about once every two hours.

[chicoescuela]

7. I have to be hopeful for my ten grandchildren. I worry about their future but hoping the next generations

will be smarter, kinder and less corrupt. Many of these kids could live into the 22nd century. Boggles my mind.

[MadameButterfly]

17. We need your ten grandchildren

who will lead us back to sanity. It will happen and they will be part of it in some way or another, and appreciate what we took for granted for so long.

[MustLoveBeagles]

8. I know how you feel

As much as I would've loved to have had kids, I now think it was for the better that I didn't.

[kerry-is-my-prez]

14. Yep. I'm not even sure that I wished I would have had them.

I’m really hadn’t been too concerned about it one way or the other but I guess I’m glad I didn’t have any. I have a perfectly nice and capable niece who would most likely step in if I need an advocate. When I worked at a hospice, it was either the niece or (usually gay, for some reason) nephew that would make the tough decisions if the person didn’t have a daughter or a paternal son. I also have a trans cousin so maybe he would help. I had to take care of both of my parents when they had dementia. My brother lived with my mother but was of no help. I had to hire aides to come in.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

9. I truly love it that several responses have not been about

having or not having grandchildren, but having or not having children. Thank you.

I was born in 1948 to an Irish Catholic family, and understandably grew up expecting to marry and have children. Over the years it has been enlightening to see other points of view.

Thank you, everone.

[soldierant]

10. I have long suspected that

those who want grandchildren the most are those who, while growing up, had a good relationship and a strong bond with their own grandparents. That doean't describe me. When I was born I had already lost three out of the four, and while I did learn some things from my remaining grandmother, I fortunately did not learn her habit of telling (easily debunked defensive) lies. My mother also had at most one out of the four - her father's father came to America with his children, but I have never heard a word about his wife. And my mother's mother cam leaving her parents behind to be a comfort to her sister. Which could explain why when I married one thing she said to me was "Don't make me a grandmother."

[kerry-is-my-prez]

19. My friend who is also Irish Catholic is in the same boat.

I don’t think she has been wringing her hands lamenting the fact that she hasn’t had kids. She married 2 alcoholic and crazy men so it’s probably a good thing she didn’t have them. Myself, if I would have the child I was supposed to have would have required that I be connected to a total cheating, selfish asshole of a man for the rest of my life.

[Dulcinea]

11. I have 2 daughters.

Last edited Sun Dec 8, 2024, 12:46 AM - Edit history (1)

Both are in college. One wants kids "one day" & the other is ambivalent at best. It's their decision. Maybe one day. I was 36 when I had my first one and 38 when I had the second. Anything can happen.

[Hope22]

12. My heart is with you.

We’ve waited a long time for a grandchild here. Pretty much gave up on the thought. . Six months ago we found there is one coming. I am scared shitless for this little person! All I can do is love him and fill the shelves with books. Valentines baby! Hopefully this country will still be in one piece. Will do my best to stick around for the little one!

[markodochartaigh]

13. My Mother's family is also

Irish Catholic. But both her Mother's and her Father's families were hit by everything from the Galveston Hurricane to the kkk to yellow fever, cholera, and typhoid. And the wars of course. And there was the abusive priest of course, so my sister only had one son.

Now we are down to my sister and I, two older cousins and a niece and a nephew. My nephew will never have children and my niece, who has moved to France with her French-Moroccan husband is never going to have children either. When I was much younger my
oldest, and wisest, cousin told me that he
would never have children because they would
only be servants to the rich. I was told in school that I would burn in hell for being gay.
When I see where the world is going, I think that burning in hell for all eternity is a small price to pay for not having brought children into this world. And for the instructor who told me that gays should be killed, go ndeine an diabhal áradh de cnámh do dhroma ag fómhar péitseog i ngairdín ifrinn. May the devil use your spine as a ladder to harvest peaches in the garden of hell.

[Tanuki]

15. Bob Dylan, Masters of War: "You've thrown the worst fear

that can ever be hurled,
Fear to bring children into the world..."


https://www.bobdylan.com/songs/masters-war-mono/

Masters of War
WRITTEN BY: BOB DYLAN

Come you masters of war

You that build all the guns

You that build the death planes

You that build the big bombs

You that hide behind walls

You that hide behind desks

I just want you to know

I can see through your masks



You that never done nothin’

But build to destroy

You play with my world

Like it’s your little toy

You put a gun in my hand

And you hide from my eyes

And you turn and run farther

When the fast bullets fly



Like Judas of old

You lie and deceive

A world war can be won

You want me to believe

But I see through your eyes

And I see through your brain

Like I see through the water

That runs down my drain



You fasten the triggers

For the others to fire

Then you set back and watch

When the death count gets higher

You hide in your mansion

As young people’s blood

Flows out of their bodies

And is buried in the mud



You’ve thrown the worst fear

That can ever be hurled

Fear to bring children

Into the world

For threatening my baby

Unborn and unnamed

You ain’t worth the blood

That runs in your veins



How much do I know

To talk out of turn

You might say that I’m young

You might say I’m unlearned

But there’s one thing I know

Though I’m younger than you

Even Jesus would never

Forgive what you do



Let me ask you one question

Is your money that good

Will it buy you forgiveness

Do you think that it could

I think you will find

When your death takes its toll

All the money you made

Will never buy back your soul



And I hope that you die

And your death’ll come soon

I will follow your casket

In the pale afternoon

And I’ll watch while you’re lowered

Down to your deathbed

And I’ll stand o’er your grave

’Til I’m sure that you’re dead

Copyright © 1963 by Warner Bros. Inc.; renewed 1991 by Special Rider Music

[proud patriot]

16. I too would have loved to be a granny

My only son , has zero interest in having kids and is in a relationship with
a trans girl who is unable to have kids . so it looks like being a granny isn't
in my cards .

Big Hug

[Kaleva]

18. I don't worry about my grandkids. I'll think they'll adapt to climate change

[Ilsa]

20. Thank you.

I feel better about not having grandkids, or even nephews & neices once removed.

[nmmi]

21. If I was an inter-stellar traveler looking for a planet to be born on, I would skip Earth, even if it was highly

uncertain I would find another possible planet to check out as a place to be born on. It's just too screwed up.

[Martin Eden]

22. The party of "family values" and "Christian morals" is creating a future hellscape

Wherein children will suffer in a world they had no hand in making.

It is up to us in the present to build a better world for future generations, but the most impactful nation on earth took a giant step backwards last month.

Some of the damage inflicted over the next four years may not be recoverable, and the trend beyond that is not looking good.

I don't blame you for not wanting more children to suffer in a future hellscape.

[DiverDave]

23. No grandkids yet.

Mine seem to be fine without a relationship
I'm glad they don't have kids

I worry enough about them.

[kimbutgar]

24. I feel for you

I only have 1 son who is autistic and I don’t see him marrying and having children.

I get my being around children thing by being a substitute teacher.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

25. Thank you to everyone who replied.

I am so appreciative of all the varied responses. Kids, no kids, grandkids, no grandkids. We live in a varied world, many different experiences.

[surfered]

26. Us too. We need tech support.

[nini]

27. My grandson is my biggest worry with all that is going on

It scares the heck out of me what his life is going to be 😢

[Marigold]

28. I worry every day about my only granddaughter

She is 6, and a product of two immature divorced parents hell bent on spiting and competing with each other. Then you add in the misogyny, racism, gun violence and hate in this country. I am afraid she has no chance.

[nini]

35. It's truly scary

Life is challenging with the usual issues we face, but this will bring on things unheard of in this country. It’s going to linger for years too 😔

[no_hypocrisy]

29. Our father never forgave us for not giving him grandchildren.

I never married and never considered having children as a single mother.

My sister and her husband were infertile.

My brother and his wife married late, too late.

Personally, I'm glad. Our father would have used our children as weapons against us.

And when he died, he disinherited all of us.

[RazorbackExpat]

32. My grandfather had 8 siblings

Of those siblings, only 2 had kids. And each of those had an only child. And each of those only children was a female. So my grandparents doted on us grandkids. But that was back in the '60s, when the TV was full of Great Society PSAs and there was a lot of optimism for the future...*sigh*

[no_hypocrisy]

33. That's why I kind of believe that's why he punished us for no grandchildren.

The "family name" will die with the last sibling. We didn't do our bit for immortality.

[chowmama]

30. I have three step-grandchildren

My fear is, in this current and worsening 'culture' we have, that they're doomed to be either breeding stock or cannon fodder. And I don't think their parents are likely to get the hell out of the country. I wish they would.

[RazorbackExpat]

31. I've got adult kids

But as far as I know, they're not interested in starting families. I'm not pressuring them to get married or anything, because raising a family is really tough, especially nowadays. It might be nice to have grandkids, and I think of all the happy times I spent with my wonderful (maternal) grandparents. But it's a new world today, things have changed, it's not the same today...

[róisín_dubh]

34. I'm in my late 40s...

I have no kids, but I have lots of nieces and nephews and I worry so much for them.