How bad would you feel if you caused another person's death

[peregrinus]

Let’s say you were at a party and you really really really wanted a particular brand of chocolate cake they only sell at this one bakery 10 miles away in town. You have been drinking and are way too drunk to drive. But your cousin has not been drinking and is completely sober. You really want this chocolate cake so you beg her to drive into town to get the cake. She doesn’t want to go. So you keep begging, you beg her for over an hour. She finally gives in and decides to go get the chocolate cake for you. On the way to the bakery an old man coming from the eye doctors accidentally veers into the lane your cousin is driving in and the two cars get into a head on collision killing your cousin instantly.

Your cousin would not be on that road unless you asked her to go to town for you. Would you feel guilty for her death? Would you feel responsible for her death?

[WhiskeyGrinder]

1. lol what on earth

[sarisataka]

2. WTAF?

[Silent Type]

3. I would. One reason I never ask people I care about to go out of their way.

[BeerBarrelPolka]

4. Depends on if you're a diabetic or not

Geez.....

[no_hypocrisy]

5. Depends if you're a psychopath and/or a malignant narcissist.

[soandso]

6. Jeez, OP, what brought this on?

Did this happen to you?

[peregrinus]

11. Just trying to understand the disconnect

That many people have concerning the healthcare CEO causing the deaths of tens of thousands of people.

[soandso]

16. Oh, okay

Not a good analogy, though. In your story, there was no knowledge that asking the cousin to go buy the cake might end in a car crash, where the CEO knew full well that denying claims could end in someone's misery or death. Not justifying his murder, just to be clear.

[brush]

32. Kind of obvious, though not the best analogy to the Penny case.

[soandso]

37. OP said it was about the CEO of United Healthcare

which I didn't get.

[brush]

38. It could apply to both cases I guess as both are in the news.

I think most people know the CEO killer is murderer even if they're fascinated by his story and looks.

In the Penny case, IMO it's blatant, white, male privilege and obvious racism to me that he got off declared innocent and let go Scott free with an applause...no wrist slap conviction even of a couple of months jail time, no house arrest, not even probation.

Obvious racism IMO. If a Black guy had done that to white person, the book would've been thrown at him and the keep thrown away.

[soandso]

39. I don't think so, brush

Do you remember the Bernard Goetz story? White guy threatened by black guys with screwdrivers on the subway, shoots three and gets a partial conviction on the gun crime, did some jail time. Later sued civilly and lost. In this Perry story, I doubt the jury was majority white (unlike Goetz jury) and probably had people worried about or who had experienced subway violence. The lady that defended Perry was black and she was afraid of the guy that died. The whole thing was terrible and I don't think any outcome was a good one.

[awesomerwb1]

7. Of course I'd feel guilty and prob responsible

How's the old man in your hypothetical scenario?

[Xavier Breath]

8. Boy, if only I had a dollar for every time this has come up.

[BeerBarrelPolka]

10. LOL

[lame54]

9. Does the cake have sprinkles?

[Tickle]

27. 😂😂😂😂 NT

[Solly Mack]

12. If I were the cake in this scenario I'd be pissed.

Meant to be enjoyed but crushed by physics instead.

[Ferryboat]

13. Definite difference between knowing and speculation.

I bailed on a deck position on a Bering sea crabber at the last minute. They hired a complete greenhorn aka novice.

They were on deck far longer than needed had I been there. Rogue wave 1 died 2 badly hurt. As my buddy pointed out, not really my fault but still.

[The Wandering Harper]

19. once on Cape Cod I was randomly offered work on fishing boat

glad I didn't take it

[Ferryboat]

28. Truth is crew got gready

Rather than pay for a experienced fisherman at full share, they hired someone for half that and split the other half 3 ways.

[Tickle]

29. 😂😂 some how we've opened

up a thread of comedians 😂

[H2O Man]

14. I don't like cake.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

15. What an unlikely scenario.

Here's a real example: When I was an airline ticket agent I talked a man into changing his flight so he'd get home a half hour earlier. The plane crashed, killing everyone on board.

How bad should I feel?

[soandso]

17. Wow

[kerry-is-my-prez]

35. As a manager/social worker, I was put I a position where I failed to save life's.

Not really due to anything I purposefully did wrong. I didn’t do CPR properly (I forgot to plug the persons nose in my panic) but looking back, the person would have most likely died (a nurse was doing the important part of doing chest compressions). Felt guilty about that for a long time. Then we had patients commit suicide and I felt guilty about that. We were doing 10 or 15 minute checks on one of the people and he did it in between our checks so we were pretty much doing our best. Working with mentally ill patients isn’t a great field to be in if you have a tendency to feel guilt.

[Clouds Passing]

18. Bad

[tavernier]

20. Um...

What kind of cake?

[Xavier Breath]

41. It must be German Chocolate because those are to die for.

[LuckyCharms]

21. Which cousin?

[Hassin Bin Sober]

22. .

[Meowmee]

23. LOL

trashed

[GusBob]

24. As an eye Doc I have questions

Why is that part included? Does it mean:
He has or had poor vision bad enough to lose his license? Then I am to blame
Was he dilated for his exam? Again all on me according to some lawyers {I don’t know but it’s always a concern)
Did the old man die too?
Why is my office open so late?
Did I fuck up his eyeglasses? Was he wearing them?

I would blame myself and make sure I had documentation for anything

If the insurance company did not approve any necessary treatment to make his vision better it would be in the documents but I would blame myself too for not making it happen

[kerry-is-my-prez]

42. I just had to get a corneal transplant after cataract surgery.

My cataract surgeon must have messed up my surgery.

[Just_Vote_Dem]

25. A friend of mine killed an old guy in a car accident

The old guy ran a stop sign and my buddy T-boned the guy's car and killed him. My friend was not held responsible but he saw a psychiatrist for years after this.

[Hekate]

26. Does this somehow align with your "Israel lovers" post? Or is it somehow part of the weirdness universe?

Because — good DU tradition — let me state that I don’t drink with you, much less eat chocolate cake with you.

[Progressive dog]

30. I promise that if it ever happens you'll be the first to know.

or not

[ForgedCrank]

31. I can't

tell if this is some sort of hypothetical test, or if this actually happened.
I'd respond honestly if we actually discussed the issue you have in mind rather than roundabout methods (if that's what this is).

[sakabatou]

33. Example above is an accident

I may have survivor's guilt, but it wasn't my fault, nor my cousin's fault that someone veered into the lane and caused the crash.

[Skittles]

34. I'd feel guilt

logically I would know the accident was not my fault, that accidents do happen, but I would feel bad the reason we were "in the wrong place at the wrong time"

[FullySupportDems]

36. I'd feel it was somehow my fault no matter what anyone said

Because that's how I am.

One time at work I didn't wave or smile at someone I knew, from out in the smoking area. He was a nice enough guy. He was an officer, but didn't act like it (tiny jab at the Os) and he'd talked a lot about his family and other assignments. He had a problem with drinking he didn't talk about. He seemed like a cheerful guy, with a late in life unexpected pregnancy and the new baby kept them busy.
So that one day I was in a bad mood, for whatever reason, and didn't send a wave down the hallway. He didn't look very happy either. Then I was gone on vacation for a week, and when I came back I found out he died. He drank himself to death. No one even knew he was depressed.
All I could think is how I wish I would have waved or smiled. Not that it probably would have made a difference. I know. I don't blame myself for what happened. But I feel like I didn't help. I wish I would have given him a smile. I'll always wish that.