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Jilly_in_VA

(10,991 posts)
Thu Dec 12, 2024, 04:25 PM 12 hrs ago

How many of you Duers have ever been homeless at some point in your life?

I have. I was 21 at the time and had been evicted from my apartment for "having a pet". It wasn't mine. It was a cat I'd borrowed from a friend for 3 weeks to get rid of the mice the landlord refused to get an exterminator for. After the 3 weeks were over there didn't seem to be any more mice so I returned the cat to his owner with many thanks (after said cat had left a number of "offerings" buy my bed and on the rug). Nonetheless, I was homeless, crashing on one couch after another and wondering where I was going to sleep next while perusing the want ads for someplace to rent. I was also working at the time. I finally found a tiny place, third floor walkup, about 6m x 3m I would guess, with a shared kitchen and bathroom, but at least it was mine and I didn't have to worry about where I would sleep. Yeah, I was kinda depressed when I was homeless for those 6 weeks, but I was NOT mentally ill, nor was I at all violent nor a criminal.

Blow it out your ear, Eloon!

24 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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How many of you Duers have ever been homeless at some point in your life? (Original Post) Jilly_in_VA 12 hrs ago OP
Recommended. H2O Man 12 hrs ago #1
Me ibegurpard 12 hrs ago #2
When I was a kid. For brief periods we were homeless and hungry and spent the occasional night in the car. Ping Tung 12 hrs ago #3
We never forget,do we? True Blue American 12 hrs ago #8
What did Elon say about the homeless? New Breed Leader 12 hrs ago #4
Not completely but close. True Blue American 12 hrs ago #5
19 years old for two weeks. Midnight Writer 12 hrs ago #6
I'm so sorry about your roommate. Good friends like that are few and far between Iris 5 hrs ago #22
I'll check back with you in a few months lame54 12 hrs ago #7
When it counted Codifer 12 hrs ago #9
Twice when I was in college. redstatebluegirl 11 hrs ago #10
Me and my family were homeless from my ages of 8-14. Coventina 11 hrs ago #11
Yep n/t Cirsium 11 hrs ago #12
what's the difference between divorce and a tornado? rampartd 11 hrs ago #13
I couch surfed and lived in motels for a year and a half but was never completely out on the streets or in shelters. meadowlander 11 hrs ago #14
KnR Hekate 10 hrs ago #15
I ended up homeless the second time I was "asked" to take time off from school... hunter 9 hrs ago #16
I admire your perseverance. Iris 5 hrs ago #23
A very, very short period of time drmeow 8 hrs ago #17
I stayed on a friend's couch for 3 months. Chellee 6 hrs ago #18
Close DET 5 hrs ago #19
I Only Avoided Homelessness Because I Had Family Who Bailed Me Out ChoppinBroccoli 5 hrs ago #20
This message was self-deleted by its author Iggo 5 hrs ago #21
Twice. I was lucky though, I anticipated and was able to prepare. haele 4 hrs ago #24

ibegurpard

(16,882 posts)
2. Me
Thu Dec 12, 2024, 04:28 PM
12 hrs ago

Briefly at the same age as you.
I lucked out and found a job and a place to stay after a month of no luck with job hunting after moving to a new place.
I'd run out of places to crash and was sleeping in my car.
Could've easily gotten much worse and things are far worse now.
This was in the very early 90s.

Ping Tung

(1,367 posts)
3. When I was a kid. For brief periods we were homeless and hungry and spent the occasional night in the car.
Thu Dec 12, 2024, 04:32 PM
12 hrs ago

True Blue American

(18,196 posts)
5. Not completely but close.
Thu Dec 12, 2024, 04:36 PM
12 hrs ago

I did not eat for 3 days. Teenager,too proud to let my Dad know. But I found another job. One room apt. They were hard to find back then
I quit because a boss doubted my word. He tried to get me to come back. I had another job.

Midnight Writer

(23,073 posts)
6. 19 years old for two weeks.
Thu Dec 12, 2024, 04:36 PM
12 hrs ago

Roommate left town, I got fired from my job and could not pay rent, got kicked out of our apartment, ended up sleeping under a bridge.

Finally, my roommate came back to town, loaned me his car and enough cash to drive 1600 miles to my mother's house. I got a job at a gas station, and my Mom rented me a spare room for about 6 months.

My roommate was my best friend, really stuck with me and helped me out. He passed away a couple years ago from COVID. Nicest guy ever.

redstatebluegirl

(12,492 posts)
10. Twice when I was in college.
Thu Dec 12, 2024, 05:05 PM
11 hrs ago

My Mom had died and Dad did not think I needed to go to college so I supported myself. I had three jobs. Once I got sick and couldn't work and lost my apartment. Another time I had taken in my sister and had trouble paying all the bills.

Both times were short but memorable.

Coventina

(28,004 posts)
11. Me and my family were homeless from my ages of 8-14.
Thu Dec 12, 2024, 05:14 PM
11 hrs ago

My parents and my two siblings (both younger than me).

We were not violent or on drugs. Just poor.

Seattle was a very expensive place, even back then.

Landlord kicked us out of the only place we could afford.

After three years of squatting in a church basement, my dad moved us to Phoenix.

Spent three years homeless there, before my parents could get enough work to scrape together the money to get a POS rental.

Given the option now, I'd much rather be homeless in Seattle.

rampartd

(652 posts)
13. what's the difference between divorce and a tornado?
Thu Dec 12, 2024, 05:36 PM
11 hrs ago

not much, eithr way you lose the trailer.

mine was a divorce.

i was the last to know. she ran up as much debt as possible and cleaned out the joint accounts.

i did have a car to live in. a gremlin of all things,. it took me a week or so to get a paycheck and a &50 a week motel room. several months of ramen noodles. not as bad as a tarp under the interstate, but still cold and scary.

meadowlander

(4,755 posts)
14. I couch surfed and lived in motels for a year and a half but was never completely out on the streets or in shelters.
Thu Dec 12, 2024, 05:39 PM
11 hrs ago

I quit my job the day before the Global Financial Crisis in 2008 and then the new job I'd had lined up fell through.

Spent a year applying for 750+ jobs including working at McDonalds and only got one interview for a temp job delivering UPS packages during the holiday peak period (didn't get the job because 400 people applied for 10 positions). That was despite having two Masters degrees and 15 years experience in my field.

So I completely understand how fast and easily your life through no actual fault of your own can go from comfortably middle class to deciding if you can afford to buy feminine hygiene products or not .

hunter

(39,007 posts)
16. I ended up homeless the second time I was "asked" to take time off from school...
Thu Dec 12, 2024, 07:41 PM
9 hrs ago

... for mental health issues.

I tried going back to my parents but I wouldn't tell them anything of my life and ended up fighting with my dad and punching him in the face. My parents already had crazy people living with them, most especially my grandparents, so it really wasn't a healthy environment for me. And there was no way in hell I was going to burden them with my own troubles, or tell them of the violent situations I'd found myself in.

My car broke down near the university and I was sleeping in it when the police threatened to tow it away. That was a huge threat to me because it had all my tools and everything else I owned in it.

I hadn't quite burned all my bridges and arranged to park my car in a church parking lot.

People offered to help me but I was too psychotic and paranoid to accept it. I was completely feral and didn't have much trouble finding food or anything else I needed in dumpsters, etc..

A Vietnam War vet broke through to me and offered me space in his garden shed. That's where I pulled my mind back together and I started helping out on geology field trips and so on. I also started getting paid work again, enough to buy parts and get my car running. Eventually I was allowed to return to school, a dear professor helped me do that, and this third time I managed to stick it out and actually graduate without too many problems.

All in all it took me nine years to graduate from college.

Iris

(16,127 posts)
23. I admire your perseverance.
Thu Dec 12, 2024, 11:20 PM
5 hrs ago

I have a free make friends with similar stories ago made it through college despite a lot working against them

drmeow

(5,315 posts)
17. A very, very short period of time
Thu Dec 12, 2024, 08:11 PM
8 hrs ago

My lease ended and I hadn't been able to find any place in Santa Barbara that I could afford. Finally found a place out at the very edge of (at that time) new developments (past Isla Vista). Can't remember how long I was without a place to live - no more than a few weeks. I was working full time at the time.

Chellee

(2,217 posts)
18. I stayed on a friend's couch for 3 months.
Thu Dec 12, 2024, 10:24 PM
6 hrs ago

During my divorce my ex-husband told me he would burn the house down with me and my daughter in it if I didn't get out. I believed him. I took my daughter about an hour away to my grandmother's house and she lived there. I needed to be able to be close to work so I slept on a friend's couch.

I was able to buy a very old, postage stamp of a house even though I'm pretty sure I probably didn't qualify for the mortgage. I think the woman doing the paperwork pushed it through, pulled some strings, called in favors to get me into a house. My ex showed up at her office one day and was so threatening (because she was helping me) that they had to call the cops. She told me that she would do whatever it took to get me into my own place. She even offered to let me store my furniture in her garage.

DET

(1,718 posts)
19. Close
Thu Dec 12, 2024, 10:52 PM
5 hrs ago

I came to DC for my first professional job in my mid 20s. Had roommates for about a year, then found my own studio apartment - which I was so proud of. Lived there about a year before contracting mono, followed by Chronic Fatigue Syndrome - which hadn’t even been discovered yet. No one knew at the time that a serious viral illness could trigger a long term illness like CFS (similar to COVID and long COVID, which resembles CFS).

I couldn’t walk outside my apartment for about six months without collapsing. No one understood what was wrong with me (especially doctors) and I was threatened with being fired (understandably). Fortunately, an acquaintance in the building occasionally brought me groceries. No one at work offered support and my boyfriend dumped me. I thought I was going to lose my job and my apartment, with no resources to fall back on. But I finally started getting some strength back and slowly returned to work, although still very weak. Continued to have symptoms for several years. Still have PTSD from that time. That was as close to homeless as I ever want to be.

ChoppinBroccoli

(3,899 posts)
20. I Only Avoided Homelessness Because I Had Family Who Bailed Me Out
Thu Dec 12, 2024, 11:08 PM
5 hrs ago

I was 28 years old with a law degree and a job with a small law firm (it was literally just the attorney with his name on the door and me). I also had a mountain of student loan debt. Since the firm I worked for started experiencing financial instability, my boss would often come to me and say, "Um, we can't afford to give you a paycheck this week." So I started living off my credit cards and soon amassed a mountain of credit card debt too. Then I lost my job.

I hadn't paid my rent in months (or really any of my other bills, for that matter). I was being threatened with eviction and repossession of my car. I came home one night to find both my electricity AND my heat shut off. I was clinically depressed and borderline suicidal. If I hadn't had a family with the wherewithal to help me out, I definitely would have been homeless.

Ever since I had that experience, I have identified with the homeless, because I know how close I came to being one of them. I also got very disillusioned with the whole "American Dream" bullshit. They tell you, "Work hard, get an education, get a good job, and you'll have a great life." I played by their rules. I worked hard, got the fancy degree, the supposedly cushy job. I still was this close to living on the street. Imagine if I had had no family to bail me out (because a lot of people don't). That's when I realized the Republican version of the "American Dream" was a lie. And no amount of "bootstrap pulling" would have saved me.

Response to Jilly_in_VA (Original post)

haele

(13,607 posts)
24. Twice. I was lucky though, I anticipated and was able to prepare.
Thu Dec 12, 2024, 11:56 PM
4 hrs ago

First time, I was moving from Port Hueneme to San Diego on orders around 1985, and a shipmate was selling his banged up, barely running1976 Chevy high top camper van cheap - $500. I spent another $500, got a transmission tune-up, replaced the carbonator and radiator, all the seals, replaced the brakes, front u-joints, the propane fittings, the interior marine batteries and the plumbing.
It was pretty decent, 22ft long x 7ft wide, that a 6'2 person could comfortably stand in, with a "loft space" in the back; 6 x7x3 ft that could double as another sleeping area, a swamp cooler in the middle of the van, lots of storage, a wet shower/ toilet, a comfortable kitchenette table/bed with a mini-fridge/freezer and I updated the mounted toaster oven. And it had...an 8-track player.
An ugly gas hog, but comfortable 6 months living for a young NCO who could park it in a new co-worker 's driveway for a "mailing address" while waiting to get BEQ approved (you had to get permission and then move off base before you could apply at that time) and enough for a deposit saved up.
And I was easily able to sell it as soon as I could get into a new apartment; there was a waiting list for single NCOs looking for a place to live while waiting for BEQ approval. Over the next five years, I saw it had at least that many different owners (or users) before someone actually bought it as a camper van for his (or her) family.

The other time was losing a roommate the same time I changed employment, so I moved out, put the stuff I wanted in storage, and couch surfed with a Reservist buddy who had to deal with a temporary furlough (fire damage to her employer's shop and they were rebuilding) and needed help paying her rent until work picked up again. Win, win - I could save money for my own place again, and she could stay in her little apartment she had spent the last ten years in.

It wasn't scary, but there were those other times working as a contractor where work was way too slow for several months in a year, rent (later mortgage) started getting paid late or it took two payments in a month to pay the rent in full plus late fee, and a lot of savings disappeared while waiting for that good paying work to pick up again.

Haele




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