The Borowitz Report-Trump's Arteries Unlikely to Serve Third Term

[LetMyPeopleVote]

Trump’s Arteries Unlikely to Serve Third Term
www.borowitzreport.com/p/trumps-art...

— Peter (@pajjr.bsky.social) 2025-04-01T11:37:21.192Z

Link to tweet

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trumps-arteries-unlikely-to-serve

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The arteries of Donald J. Trump are “extremely unlikely” to serve a third term in the White House, the blood vessels said on Tuesday.

In a social media post, the vascular tubes pushed back against Trump’s recent musings about remaining in office beyond his second term.

“Leaving aside the constitutional issues, there are serious anatomical issues,” the arteries said. “The pressure on us has been unbearable.”

At the White House, Trump slammed his arteries’ comments, telling reporters, “My circulatory system has treated me very unfairly.”

[birdographer]

1. I'll be surprised if those arteries make it through this term...

We can only hope they fail soon.

[Aristus]

9. That's what we said about the last term.

Still waiting...

[birdographer]

10. Yes, but we can at least add years to his age since then

And hundreds more Big Macs and buckets of KFC. And no increase in exercise.

[malaise]

2. Great News

Rec

[rickyhall]

3. We can always hope.

[niyad]

4. One dares to dream.

[tanyev]

5. That will probably be the deciding vote, when all is said and done.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

6. I doubt that trump will be running in 2028

Link to tweet

[CrispyQ]

7. I literally LOLd & am sitting here with a shit eating grin.

Bravo, Mr. Borowitz!

[dalton99a]

8. His KKK slumlord father died at 93.

[birdographer]

11. Normally this is a guideline

to life expectancy. However, Fred did not literally inhale Adderall and allergy medicine for decades, drink 12 diet cokes a day for years, only consume fast food, and he probably walked more than 50 steps a day. Things that can take a toll on a body.

[LisaL]

12. But both of his brothers are already dead.

One was younger than him.

[Efilroft Sul]

13. His arteries should resign today.