The Borowitz Report-Clarence Thomas Fears Volatile Stock Market Could Force Billionaire Hosts to Sell Their Yachts

[LetMyPeopleVote]

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https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/clarence-thomas-fears-volatile-stock

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a rare public statement, Clarence Thomas warned on Thursday that the whipsawing stock market could force billionaires who have hosted him and Samuel Alito on luxury cruises to sell their yachts.

“I usually bite my tongue, but the threat to these cruises impels me to speak out,” he said. “There’s a human cost here the public needs to know about.”

Thomas reported that Alito’s wife is “in a state of panic” about losing her superyacht vacations, adding, “She’s been flying their flag upside down all week.”

As for his own wife, Thomas said, “Ginni is mad as hell, and you don’t want to make Ginni mad. She’s already tried to overthrow one government.”

[usonian]

1. He will buy the firesale yachts on the cheap.

With a little help from his friend.