Secret Service Officer Accused Of Public Masturbation After Guarding Trump At Golf Tourney

[RandySF]

A Secret Service officer is accused of masturbating in front of guests at a Miami hotel after providing security for President Donald Trump at a golf tournament on Sunday, according to reports.

John Spillman was charged with indecent exposure, according to jail records.

He was placed on leave, CNBC reported.

“The alleged conduct is unacceptable and stands in stark contrast to the professionalism and integrity that I demand of our personnel,” Secret Service chief Richard Macauley of the uniformed division said in a statement to TMZ.




https://www.huffpost.com/entry/secret-service-john-spillman-indecent-exposure-masturbating_n_69f9ba0de4b0e719534e50ab

[Abolishinist]

1. Well, he can't be accused of not having stamina!

The guests then “saw the defendant masturbating next to their hotel room” and called security, who arrived to see him still in the act on the sixth floor, according to the station.

[betsuni]

2. I have to ignore this or spend the next half hour thinking up jokes.

[scipan]

3. his name is John SPILLMAN???

[yellowcanine]

5. Yeah, you can't make that up!

[LeftInTX]

4. Eww? What?

[kerry-is-my-prez]

6. That's what happens when you get rid of the good agents and replace with MAGA losers.

[Polybius]

7. Ok, let's break this down

What would cause a grown man with a very good government job to openly do this in front of guests? What was he thinking? Also, where exactly was this? Outside of his room? On the lobby? In his room with the door open?

[Orrex]

8. But can he hit the long ball?

[Orrex]

9. That'll cost him two strokes.

[Orrex]

10. He should try choking up on the shaft

[Orrex]

11. He was let go because his performance was subpar

[Orrex]

12. I know a guy who did that so much that he got a hole in one

[Orrex]

13. I wonder if he was discharged prematurely

[Emile]

14. His name is John Squirtman.

[Orrex]

15. If charges are filed, they'll need some hard evidence

[Orrex]

16. Word is that his swing pulls to the right

[Volaris]

17. I love that TMZ put a 'field office' in DC...makes me very happy.

[Orrex]

18. Strange, because he usually peters out on the back nine

[Orrex]

19. He reached for a seven iron but pulled his putter instead

[purr-rat beauty]

20. Quick...

I'm trying to come up with something funny

What rhymes with glock?