Borowitz Report's Traitor of the Week: Marco Rubio

[FakeNoose]

Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/traitor-of-the-week-quisling-no-2-790 (for paid subscribers)
if anyone has an archived (no paywall) link please post it below

There was a time, not so long ago, when Marco Rubio was on the right side of history.

“As soon as I take office, I will move quickly to increase pressure on Moscow,” the then-US senator said when he was running for the 2016 GOP presidential nomination. “Under my administration, there will be no pleadings for meetings with Vladimir Putin. He will be treated for what he is—a gangster and a thug.” ... [snip] ...

Compared to the other passengers in Trump’s clown Cybertruck of a Cabinet, Rubio appeared to have something vaguely resembling gravitas. This created false hope that Li’l Marco would be that long-sought unicorn in Trumpworld: the “adult in the room.” "Adversaries are uniting,” the hawkish-sounding Rubio told CNN. “North Korea, Iran, China, Russia [are] increasingly coordinating—it's going to require us to be very pragmatic and wise and how we invest overseas and what we do.”

Comments like those offered reassurance that Rubio could put the brakes on Trump’s impulse to shred the rules-based international order and replace it with the dog-eat-dog system codified on “The Apprentice.” In one of the more remarkable displays of magical thinking by the US Senate, Rubio was confirmed unanimously. That was less than six weeks ago.

Since then, the United States voted against a UN resolution blaming Russia for the invasion of Ukraine, a move that aligned the US with such beacons of democracy as North Korea, Sudan, and Belarus. Rubio raised no objection when Trump blamed the invasion of Ukraine on an unlikely suspect—Ukraine—and called its president, Volodymyr Zelenskyy, a “dictator.” And after Trump and Vance disgraced the US by scolding Zelensky on live TV in the Oval Office, Rubio said this of the Ukrainian leader, who has been called the bravest head of state since Winston Churchill: “I think he should apologize for wasting our time for a meeting that was going to end the way it did.”

- more at link, for paid subscribers -

Excerpted from Borowitz's Sunday Read column, which is his longer, non-satirical essay once per week.

[SheltieLover]

1. Look at the hand shake. Tfg has him by the wrist

I wonder if tfg did the yank his arm thing he's so infamous for?

Thx for sharing!

[LuvLoogie]

2. Gravitas?! As if.

Rubio has always been a punk. He will flit about the globe running errands for Putin.

[FakeNoose]

4. I think it's more that he'll do whatever Chump tells him to do

Since the November election, Rubio has become just another Chump brown-nose.

[LuvLoogie]

8. Given that trump is doing whatever Putin tells him to do

Rubio is implementing Putin's directives. There is nobody in this cabinet that is acting ion America's interests. Those have been subjugated to Putin's interests.

[LakeVermilion]

3. Marco's right: It was a waste of time...

• It cost Krasnov 18 holes of golf
and
• JD could have gone to the bunny hill sooner.

(sarcasm)

[LetMyPeopleVote]

5. 'You guys only saw the end!' Marco Rubio decries criticism after Trump-Zelensky fight

The reason for Friday's incident was the fact that trump wanted a victory without giving President Zelenskyy any security guarantees. President Zelensky did not agree to this script and trump got mad. Little Marco saw the entire fight and has to take trump's side/
https://bsky.app/profile/vicky8651.bsky.social/post/3ljbvzk5do22y

Link to tweet

https://www.rawstory.com/marco-rubio-zelensky/

Secretary of State Marco Rubio leapt to President Donald Trump's defense Friday on CNN while discussing Trump's shouting match with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky that ultimately saw the latter tossed out of the White House with no security guarantees in the war against Russia.....

"We just heard from President Zelensky; he said he does not think that he owes President Trump an apology for what happened inside the Oval Office today," said anchor Kaitlan Collins. "Do you feel otherwise?"

"I do, I do because you guys don't — see, you guys only saw the end," said Rubio. "You saw what happened today. You don't see all the things that led up to this. So let me explain. The president has been very clear. He campaigned on this. He thinks this war should have never started. He believes, and I agree, that had he been president, it never would have happened. Now, here we are. He's trying to bring an end to this conflict."

"We explained very clearly what our plan is here, which is we want to get the Russians to a negotiating table," Rubio continued. "We want to explore whether peace is possible. They understand this. They also understand that this agreement that was supposed to be signed today was supposed to be an agreement that binds America economically to Ukraine, which to me, as I explained, I think the president alluded to today, is a security guarantee in its own way because we're involved. It's not us, it's our interests. That was all explained. That was all understood. And nonetheless, for the last 10 days and every engagement we've had with the Ukrainians, there's been complications in getting that point across, including the public statements that President Zelensky has made. But they insisted on coming to D.C."

He added, "It should have been a very clear understanding. Don't come here and create a scenario where you're going to start lecturing us about how diplomacy isn't going to work, as President Zelensky took it in that direction, and it ended in a predictable outcome as a result. It's unfortunate that wasn't supposed to be this way, but that's the path he chose. And I think, frankly, you know, sends his country backwards in regards to achieving peace, which is what President Trump wants at the end of the day, is for this war to end. He's been as consistent as anyone can be about what his objective is here."

trump had a script that was based on trusting Putin and getting Ukraine's rare/raw earth minerals. President Zelensky does not trust Putin and wanted security guarantees which pissed off trump. We saw a major temper tantrum because trump was pissed at President Zelenskyy not obeying and following trump's script for the signing of the raw/rare earths mineral deal.

I am very disappointed in Little Marco.

[kacekwl]

6. You are way over your

head little man. Grow a spine or resign.

[FakeNoose]

7. Zelenskyy got blindsided when Chump and Vance ganged up against him

Why would he fly all the way to Washington for THAT?

He could have stayed home, or he could have flown straight to London and skipped the meeting with Chump altogether. If Rubio doesn't understand this, then he's no diplomat.