How to tell my friends I won't be able to attend the annual pre-holiday dinner.

[3Hotdogs]

We are friends with a 23 year history, mostly based on shared road trips...... Canada, South Dakota, southern states and so forth. As we are getting older, the trips are fewer and of shorter distance. 400 miles on a day on a bike is different when you are in your 70's from when you were in your 40's or 50's.

Still, there are the two or three "get togethers" and one or two weekend rides each year.

The problem is with my hearing. I can't be in most restaurants because I can no longer hear what people are saying. Being in a restaurant that is packed with us and other people having holiday parties.... torture.

Yes, I've tried the three Costco and two other hearing aids but they are useless with the type of hearing loss I have.

This will be the first one I will miss.

[Irish_Dem]

1. Tell them the truth.

Your hearing loss makes it impossible for you to dine in noisy restaurants with a large group.
You can no longer hear what people are saying.

[mahatmakanejeeves]

2. In your case, it probably won't help, but

I’m fixing to see if those Apple Air Pro 2 earphones will be of any use to me.

My mom had hearing aids, and they cost a fortune. She didn’t think that they did much good. Now it’s my turn

And good morning.

[3Hotdogs]

3. Thanks.

As soon as the AirPod2 hearing aid announcement came out, I bought a pair. That was in September. I did the hearing test and waited until October.

I do use them for music and Sirius/XM.

The only part of the hearing aid function that helps is the noise reduction setting. But it blocks out everything.

I do believe that AirPods will offer many people a less expensive alternative to existing hearing aids. Just not me.

[marble falls]

4. Have you tried a sound cancelling unit? Before I got my aids, I couldn't hear anything in a restauraunt clearly ...

... now I can't hear my whole table (I found out I read lips very well), but I can hear what a table near us was saying very clearly.

But the airplane noise cancelers work fine in crowds.

My aids are good, though. I never realized how loud I was for someone who was proud of how silently I could live around others.

I wasn't the considerate one: everyone else around me was!

The problem with giving up things is that it is a slippery slope and if we aren't careful we slip all the "juice" out of our lives. I used to ride long distances, bike and wind noise would screw up my inside hearing for an hour or so when I'd stop for a meal or at night.

I'd still be riding, but I have a good marriage and she tolerates more from me than I ever thought she would already.

[Biophilic]

5. I so understand and commiserate with you.

I’ve spent the weekend trying to figure out what’s best to do. I have cochlear implants which have helped a lot, but not in super busy, noisy restaurants. We went to this restaurant last Thanksgiving and it was torturous. The food is excellent but spending two hours basically isolated while surrounded by other people having a great time. Nah. I just have to phrase it so I don’t hurt feelings. Good grief.
Good luck with your efforts.

[Scrivener7]

6. I'm so sorry.

I'm sure you have looked into this, but just in case you haven't, my cousin just got a cochlear implant for his hearing loss that probably resulted from too many Dead concerts. It has made an unbelievable difference.

[3Hotdogs]

7. Besides the usual audiologist, I have made 5 visits over the years to an E.N.T. MD.

Implants were never offered as a solution.

[JoseBalow]

8. Might you benefit from a Speech-to-Text app?

https://duckduckgo.com/?q=Speech-to-Text+app

[3Hotdogs]

9. I don't think so. In most situations - outdoors, gatherings of four or five people, I am ok with hearing other people.

My problem is with hearing people I am with in crowded rooms.

I don't envision speech to text solving that. People hear me. I cant hear them.

[Tanuki]

10. Any chance that the group can book a private dining room?

Or have food catered at some other type of private event space? If that would improve the situation for you, my guess is that your friends would want to do whatever possible to make sure it worked for you to come!

[3Hotdogs]

11. Good idea. There is time enough to explore that.

[Marthe48]

12. I'd go and smile or shrug a lot

Friends are precious and any time spent with them is priceless. Tjhey'll be glad you came and you will too.