Is it me?

[JMCKUSICK]

I used to work as a correctional officer back in the 90's.
I experienced something during my hospital stay that reminded me of my time as a CO.

I'm sure you all can attest that this experience was incredibly emotional and formative for me.
My question/dilemma is this:
When I worked at the jail, most of the pre-trial detainees seemed not just unbothered by their lot as it were, but almost ok with it; almost used to it.
While my experience at the hospital was limited to 4 others, I found the casual acceptance of their situation almost sad.
My renewed lease on life has inspired me beyond words, I felt alone in seemingly experiencing that. I had no idea one could be so casual about what I see as a beautiful miracle.

Any observations from your experiences?

[Dorothy V]

1. As an old retired nurse ...

I had my share of surgery patients, mostly on a neurosurgery floor. Some patients were deeply spiritual, some scared shitless. some resigned. I put you in the spiritual category, of course.
Myself, by the time I had my third abdominal surgery, I was just tired of the whole thing.
Overcoming my alcoholism and my own personality has been my spiritual experience. I keep it close. I do operate out of it, but outside of meetings with other sober drunks, I don't talk about it much. Mostly, I just do what it prompts me to do. Not always easy, I still want to operate out of my cynicism more often than I like.
By the by, I have 34 years continuous sobriety, so Something is working! Working through me and not just on me.
To keep it, you got to give it away.

[JMCKUSICK]

2. Thank you Dorothy V

I'm honored that you shared something so very personal with me/us. I got married at 21 to a woman just starting recovery who was a Paramedic. I ended up her partner on the rig for two years.
Going to meetings with her introduced me to the AA big book and in my opinion its most beautiful verse:
Acceptance is the answer to all my problems, if I have a problem it is because I find some person/place/thing/situation unacceptable to me....
I recognized the profound truth in that statement the second I read it.
Finding acceptance on the other hand has resembled trying to climb Mt Everest while insisting I be allowed to smoke as much as I want on the way up.
I'm awed by all the wisdom, experience, and character that DUers share so willingly here. It makes me sad that I felt isolation and cocooning were my safest options for so many decades.
Hugs back