Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

question everything

(48,973 posts)
Sun May 1, 2022, 10:58 PM May 2022

A Wild Turkey Is Attacking People in D.C. Multiple Agencies Are in Pursuit.

WASHINGTON—On a recent sunny spring day, cardinals, meadowlarks and bobolinks flit through the wooded patch between Kenilworth Marsh and the Anacostia River. A serpentine concrete bike and foot path winds through this pastoral stretch just blocks from a dense working-class neighborhood, but nobody is here. Steps away, a dozen or so neighbors jog and power walk on a synthetic city track. Walkers and bikers say they are afraid of the path through the woods after a series of recent attacks. Cliff Robinson pauses to explain. “Because of those turkeys!” says Mr. Robinson, 70, a retired court-services employee. “I was attacked there. Three weeks ago. I was trying to get away from him and he came after me. He wouldn’t let me pass.”

The suspect: a male, heavyset, 3½-feet tall, with a blue head and neck, pink flaps on his chin that turn red when he struts, shiny black and fluorescent breast feathers and a large fanned bronze tail. The weapons: sharp beak and talons used to slash passersby in the legs and thighs. The victims: more than a dozen walkers and bikers, including several who have required urgent medical care, tetanus shots and antibiotics.



This being the nation’s capital, a multiagency task force of more than half a dozen agencies has assembled a dragnet across city, state and federal lands to cage the wily bird. Wild turkeys are making a national comeback after nearly going extinct a century ago, according to a copy of Turkey Interview Talking Points drafted by the National Park Service and reviewed by The Wall Street Journal. With the proliferation of wild turkeys, about 7 million nationwide, there has been an uptick in unhappy encounters with the public, from California to Massachusetts.

(snip)

In Washington, the tom turkey who resides alongside a popular, 6-year-old Anacostia Riverwalk Trail, has become a fearsome bully, increasingly aggressive since he was first spotted at the Kenilworth Aquatic Gardens, a historic facility managed by the National Park Service. Joe Cashman, a park guide everyone knows as “Ranger Joe,” said that he and another park guide were on bike patrol when they were pursued by the fowl last fall. “We got a kick out of it,” Ranger Joe said. “Then we started getting complaints. It started getting aggressive. It’s gotten more and more aggressive.” In January, warning signs were posted. In February, the turkey aggression became extreme. Wild turkeys can run up to 25 miles an hour, according to the turkey talking points. “It struts its stuff and spreads its tail feathers,” Ranger Joe said, sharing a video of the tom trying to attack him. The ranger, an Air Force Academy graduate, is no shrimp; he’s 6 feet, 4 inches tall. As complaints mounted, the park service fretted. “It’s not a good situation,” Ranger Joe said. “We want to have a balance between protecting wildlife and protecting our visitors.”

(snip)

The National Park Service hatched a plan. “The park determined that the turkey had to be captured and relocated,” the talking points state. Enter the District of Columbia’s Department of Energy and the Environment, Division of Fish and Wildlife, which also enlisted the Humane Rescue Alliance, the nonprofit that acts as Washington’s animal-control unit. The fowl has been spotted fleeing across the state line into Bladensburg, Md., as well, so also on the case are the Prince George’s County Parks and Recreation Department and the Maryland Department of Natural Resources. The fugitive is slick, Ranger Joe says, because he takes flight “when he sees nets.” The animal cops had him cornered under a bridge recently, but he flew across the Anacostia River to the U.S. National Arboretum—entangling yet another federal agency in the hunt, the U.S. Department of Agriculture. The turkey fled to familiar terrain. The arboretum’s USDA wildlife manager, Sue Greeley, said that until last fall the turkey had been nesting at the 446-acre federal park since spring of 2021. He fattened up over the summer on the Brood X cicadas that emerged by the millions. Then, Ms. Greeley said, the tom may have taken off to avoid predators, including coyotes and possibly bald eagles, the arboretum’s more famous avian denizens who have their own streaming webcam.

More..

https://www.wsj.com/articles/wild-turkey-attack-washington-dc-11651414703 (subscription)

17 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
A Wild Turkey Is Attacking People in D.C. Multiple Agencies Are in Pursuit. (Original Post) question everything May 2022 OP
That is a huge bird shaped drone. Cracklin Charlie May 2022 #1
Birds aren't real. cbabe May 2022 #2
SOME are! elleng May 2022 #5
Very good camouflage. cbabe May 2022 #16
The Grim Beaker! Blue Owl May 2022 #3
LOLOLOL! Multiple Agencies Are in Pursuit!!! elleng May 2022 #4
Bout time we got the Turkeys out of DC. Hoyt May 2022 #6
I don't know what is going on around here but happybird May 2022 #7
When I lived in Calif. Bayard May 2022 #8
101 proof sprinkleeninow May 2022 #9
Maybe that fox could have taken care of it, but... alas. Beartracks May 2022 #10
"The National Park Service hatched a plan." ShazzieB May 2022 #11
Capture of Tom Turkey gone afowl onetexan May 2022 #12
+1 nt orleans May 2022 #13
That is one handsome fella. But with all his slashing weaponry, speed, & aggression, I agree... Hekate May 2022 #14
BREAK*This is a level 5 alert*BREAK Cheezoholic May 2022 #15
Thanks. That was a funny article. I read it in the paper Monday afternoon. NT mahatmakanejeeves May 2022 #17

elleng

(136,595 posts)
4. LOLOLOL! Multiple Agencies Are in Pursuit!!!
Sun May 1, 2022, 11:14 PM
May 2022

The suspect: a male, heavyset, 3½-feet tall, with a blue head and neck, pink flaps on his chin!!!

This one will stick with me!

happybird

(5,158 posts)
7. I don't know what is going on around here but
Sun May 1, 2022, 11:43 PM
May 2022

Last edited Mon May 2, 2022, 12:54 AM - Edit history (1)

the turkeys are out of freakin’ control! I’m about an hour NW of DC. Noticed an uptick in population last year and it’s only grown since then. Exponentially.

My yard and surrounding woods are chock full of them. The gobbling noises are continuous and fantastic. I’ve had several close encounters while driving- those bastards are BIG and they always seem to fly right at windshield height. I even told my boss a few weeks ago, “If I die on the way to work, it was the damn turkeys.”

There must a predator missing?? (Edit: google tells me the cicadas were good for the moms and babies. More eggs, less poult deaths = Turkey Explosion. Yay.) I mean, we’ve always had turkeys, but not a apocalyptic plague of turkeys. At least my local ones haven’t started attacking anything other than cars... yet. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen my neighbor in a while. Hmmm.

I do enjoy them and they bring me much joy and amusement, but damn. They need to whoa up a little bit.

Bayard

(24,145 posts)
8. When I lived in Calif.
Mon May 2, 2022, 12:02 AM
May 2022

I had a big turkey take out the windshield on my truck. I was driving down the mountain, and it burst out of the brush and straight into my truck. Total windshield starburst.
I pulled over, and so did the guy that had been driving behind me. He said--do you want that? Ummm....no. He said, thanks, threw it in the back of his pickup, and drove on with his pack of kids.

We have a bunch of them around our property now in KY.

Hekate

(95,049 posts)
14. That is one handsome fella. But with all his slashing weaponry, speed, & aggression, I agree...
Mon May 2, 2022, 02:03 AM
May 2022

…he’s got to be relocated to another patch of woods.

Cheezoholic

(2,634 posts)
15. BREAK*This is a level 5 alert*BREAK
Mon May 2, 2022, 03:53 AM
May 2022
There is a newly discovered side affect of self testicalization.....

Advisory- cease all self testicalized attempts at testosterone elevation via the Turkey Carlson method until reading this advisory

An anomaly has occurred with a Turkey Carlson nut tanner session that has gone awry. The anomaly has escaped from the basement of a Chetsnuts on Fire pizzeria in Wooshington DC that houses a patriotic biolab where Wall St. executives pay to have their testicals milked of testosterone by Howler Monkeys specifically trained by Matt Mengele in order to share and spread their patriotic virility. However the program has been temporarily halted.

According to Matt Mengele the original program dubbed "TIRE" (Testosterone Infused Reproductive Enlightenment) was working but medical histories were beginning to show that the "dominant testronics" began realizing lower Testosterone levels.

In order to combat this threat of a potential "estrogenic" attack on all we hold true the decision was made to use the smartest and most advanced tech available. Stephen Goebbels along with Mike Himmler authorized the use of the powerful Gosar 64 computing system at the behest of Matt Mengele who objected to silicon over flesh.

Simulations were performed with the Gosar 64 before the system was put in place, all looked well. The introduction of the Turkey Carlson nut tanner powered by the Gosar 64 system seemed to be the answer to give all potential "testronics" the levels needed to rightfully dominate.

But, there was a problem. In an amazing advancement of technology, the Gosar 128. So thinking it would be twice as powerful, 2x's as powerful readers! instead of the Gosar 64's being shipped with the Turkey Carlson nut tanners, the newer Gosar 128 was shipped. And this is where the anomaly lies, was spotted and must be denied. This is the reason for this bulletin

We now know every nut tanned will turn into a wing! This means every ball sack tanned will be turned into a pair of wings! Please for the love of all that is testorongenic, don't be a wing nut!
Latest Discussions»Region Forums»District of Columbia»A Wild Turkey Is Attackin...