District of Columbia
Related: About this forumA Wild Turkey Is Attacking People in D.C. Multiple Agencies Are in Pursuit.
WASHINGTONOn a recent sunny spring day, cardinals, meadowlarks and bobolinks flit through the wooded patch between Kenilworth Marsh and the Anacostia River. A serpentine concrete bike and foot path winds through this pastoral stretch just blocks from a dense working-class neighborhood, but nobody is here. Steps away, a dozen or so neighbors jog and power walk on a synthetic city track. Walkers and bikers say they are afraid of the path through the woods after a series of recent attacks. Cliff Robinson pauses to explain. Because of those turkeys! says Mr. Robinson, 70, a retired court-services employee. I was attacked there. Three weeks ago. I was trying to get away from him and he came after me. He wouldnt let me pass.
The suspect: a male, heavyset, 3½-feet tall, with a blue head and neck, pink flaps on his chin that turn red when he struts, shiny black and fluorescent breast feathers and a large fanned bronze tail. The weapons: sharp beak and talons used to slash passersby in the legs and thighs. The victims: more than a dozen walkers and bikers, including several who have required urgent medical care, tetanus shots and antibiotics.
This being the nations capital, a multiagency task force of more than half a dozen agencies has assembled a dragnet across city, state and federal lands to cage the wily bird. Wild turkeys are making a national comeback after nearly going extinct a century ago, according to a copy of Turkey Interview Talking Points drafted by the National Park Service and reviewed by The Wall Street Journal. With the proliferation of wild turkeys, about 7 million nationwide, there has been an uptick in unhappy encounters with the public, from California to Massachusetts.
(snip)
In Washington, the tom turkey who resides alongside a popular, 6-year-old Anacostia Riverwalk Trail, has become a fearsome bully, increasingly aggressive since he was first spotted at the Kenilworth Aquatic Gardens, a historic facility managed by the National Park Service. Joe Cashman, a park guide everyone knows as Ranger Joe, said that he and another park guide were on bike patrol when they were pursued by the fowl last fall. We got a kick out of it, Ranger Joe said. Then we started getting complaints. It started getting aggressive. Its gotten more and more aggressive. In January, warning signs were posted. In February, the turkey aggression became extreme. Wild turkeys can run up to 25 miles an hour, according to the turkey talking points. It struts its stuff and spreads its tail feathers, Ranger Joe said, sharing a video of the tom trying to attack him. The ranger, an Air Force Academy graduate, is no shrimp; hes 6 feet, 4 inches tall. As complaints mounted, the park service fretted. Its not a good situation, Ranger Joe said. We want to have a balance between protecting wildlife and protecting our visitors.
(snip)
The National Park Service hatched a plan. The park determined that the turkey had to be captured and relocated, the talking points state. Enter the District of Columbias Department of Energy and the Environment, Division of Fish and Wildlife, which also enlisted the Humane Rescue Alliance, the nonprofit that acts as Washingtons animal-control unit. The fowl has been spotted fleeing across the state line into Bladensburg, Md., as well, so also on the case are the Prince Georges County Parks and Recreation Department and the Maryland Department of Natural Resources. The fugitive is slick, Ranger Joe says, because he takes flight when he sees nets. The animal cops had him cornered under a bridge recently, but he flew across the Anacostia River to the U.S. National Arboretumentangling yet another federal agency in the hunt, the U.S. Department of Agriculture. The turkey fled to familiar terrain. The arboretums USDA wildlife manager, Sue Greeley, said that until last fall the turkey had been nesting at the 446-acre federal park since spring of 2021. He fattened up over the summer on the Brood X cicadas that emerged by the millions. Then, Ms. Greeley said, the tom may have taken off to avoid predators, including coyotes and possibly bald eagles, the arboretums more famous avian denizens who have their own streaming webcam.
More..
https://www.wsj.com/articles/wild-turkey-attack-washington-dc-11651414703 (subscription)
Cracklin Charlie
(12,904 posts)Biggest turkey drone Ive ever seen.
cbabe
(4,239 posts)cbabe
(4,239 posts)'Clock show' 60 Minutes does epic interview with 'Birds Aren't Real' parody conspiracy theorists
https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=16646446
Blue Owl
(54,845 posts)elleng
(136,595 posts)The suspect: a male, heavyset, 3½-feet tall, with a blue head and neck, pink flaps on his chin!!!
This one will stick with me!
Hoyt
(54,770 posts)happybird
(5,158 posts)Last edited Mon May 2, 2022, 12:54 AM - Edit history (1)
the turkeys are out of freakin control! Im about an hour NW of DC. Noticed an uptick in population last year and its only grown since then. Exponentially.
My yard and surrounding woods are chock full of them. The gobbling noises are continuous and fantastic. Ive had several close encounters while driving- those bastards are BIG and they always seem to fly right at windshield height. I even told my boss a few weeks ago, If I die on the way to work, it was the damn turkeys.
There must a predator missing?? (Edit: google tells me the cicadas were good for the moms and babies. More eggs, less poult deaths = Turkey Explosion. Yay.) I mean, weve always had turkeys, but not a apocalyptic plague of turkeys. At least my local ones havent started attacking anything other than cars... yet. Come to think of it, I havent seen my neighbor in a while. Hmmm.
I do enjoy them and they bring me much joy and amusement, but damn. They need to whoa up a little bit.
Bayard
(24,145 posts)I had a big turkey take out the windshield on my truck. I was driving down the mountain, and it burst out of the brush and straight into my truck. Total windshield starburst.
I pulled over, and so did the guy that had been driving behind me. He said--do you want that? Ummm....no. He said, thanks, threw it in the back of his pickup, and drove on with his pack of kids.
We have a bunch of them around our property now in KY.
sprinkleeninow
(20,560 posts)Beartracks
(13,606 posts)ShazzieB
(18,854 posts)I see what they did there! 🤗
onetexan
(13,911 posts)Hekate
(95,049 posts)
hes got to be relocated to another patch of woods.
Cheezoholic
(2,634 posts)Advisory- cease all self testicalized attempts at testosterone elevation via the Turkey Carlson method until reading this advisory
An anomaly has occurred with a Turkey Carlson nut tanner session that has gone awry. The anomaly has escaped from the basement of a Chetsnuts on Fire pizzeria in Wooshington DC that houses a patriotic biolab where Wall St. executives pay to have their testicals milked of testosterone by Howler Monkeys specifically trained by Matt Mengele in order to share and spread their patriotic virility. However the program has been temporarily halted.
According to Matt Mengele the original program dubbed "TIRE" (Testosterone Infused Reproductive Enlightenment) was working but medical histories were beginning to show that the "dominant testronics" began realizing lower Testosterone levels.
In order to combat this threat of a potential "estrogenic" attack on all we hold true the decision was made to use the smartest and most advanced tech available. Stephen Goebbels along with Mike Himmler authorized the use of the powerful Gosar 64 computing system at the behest of Matt Mengele who objected to silicon over flesh.
Simulations were performed with the Gosar 64 before the system was put in place, all looked well. The introduction of the Turkey Carlson nut tanner powered by the Gosar 64 system seemed to be the answer to give all potential "testronics" the levels needed to rightfully dominate.
But, there was a problem. In an amazing advancement of technology, the Gosar 128. So thinking it would be twice as powerful, 2x's as powerful readers! instead of the Gosar 64's being shipped with the Turkey Carlson nut tanners, the newer Gosar 128 was shipped. And this is where the anomaly lies, was spotted and must be denied. This is the reason for this bulletin
We now know every nut tanned will turn into a wing! This means every ball sack tanned will be turned into a pair of wings! Please for the love of all that is testorongenic, don't be a wing nut!