Conversation with a squirrel
It was very cold this morning and when I went out to where I feed the birds and other critters there was this big grey squirrel eating cracked corn. I asked if he was hungry and he said I am almost starved. I said generally you are down in the rich folks neighborhood they put out some pretty good food don't they. The squirrel said they have stopped feeding us. It seems they feel they pay to much in taxes so they can't afford us any more. One lady said she barely had enough for her new spring wardrobe. I said its not fancy but your welcome to what is here. The squirrel said thank you and could he ask a personal question. I told him ask away. He looked at me and said are you by any chance a Democrat.
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How long have you been suffering from illusions, such as a talking squirrel? 
When I was a kid, my neighbor was an older gentleman. He had a black walnut tree on his property, and he routinely had to go out and clean up the nuts using a scooping tool he had made. He eventually trained a squirrel to ride on his shoulder while he did it. As he would scoop nuts up to put in a bag he carried, he would every now and then give one to his squirrely friend.
Once my mom retired, she started feeding squirrels as well to the point that they would come into the house and eat the nuts on the carpet just inside the door where she would sit and watch them.
TlalocW
