Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

Marthe48

(19,181 posts)
Wed Sep 4, 2024, 02:17 PM Sep 2024

My friend is ailing

For the last few months, she's had a lot going on and had to go rehab. I have nothing to do with her finances, but I'm picking up her mail, and she has bills coming in. Today when I got back to her house from visiting her, a lawn guy was at her house. He has been trying to get in touch for payment. I took his contact info, and will tell her this evening.
I know her bills aren't my bills. She is as private about that as she is everything else. I took everything that looked like utilities to her today. I told her if she opened those and signed checks for anything that needs attention, I would fill the checks in, do the envelopes and get them mailed. She doesn't use eft or other methods of payment. She didn't do anything about the bills while I was there. I'm not trying to be intrusive or interfere, but I would hate to see her utilities shut off. She has money, but has been so ill that everything is an effort to do.
Is there any sort of method to set up for somebody in this situation to manage finances? I have no idea. It doesn't have to be me and I kind of hope it doesn't come to that. Any advice is appreciated very much.

8 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
My friend is ailing (Original Post) Marthe48 Sep 2024 OP
Contact your county maybe? Dear_Prudence Sep 2024 #1
Local senjir center too SheltieLover Sep 2024 #3
Yes, we are both elderly Marthe48 Sep 2024 #6
I think it depends upon state law, Marthe SheltieLover Sep 2024 #2
Thank you Marthe48 Sep 2024 #4
There's a recent thread about a similar situation that might have some useful ideas for progree Sep 2024 #5
Thanks Marthe48 Sep 2024 #7
The facility she is in might have a social worker. 3Hotdogs Sep 2024 #8

Dear_Prudence

(836 posts)
1. Contact your county maybe?
Wed Sep 4, 2024, 02:43 PM
Sep 2024

Our county has Elder Protection Services and there is also a local Council on Aging. Some hospitals offer social services as well. If your friend is not elderly, let these services know that your friend needs support. I admire your care for your friend, but you should have some support too. Take care.

Marthe48

(19,181 posts)
6. Yes, we are both elderly
Wed Sep 4, 2024, 03:03 PM
Sep 2024

It's hard to discuss things like this right now, when so much else is going on.
I'll bookmark the thread. Thank you!

SheltieLover

(59,811 posts)
2. I think it depends upon state law, Marthe
Wed Sep 4, 2024, 02:43 PM
Sep 2024

Has she no family who can step up & deal with finances.

Pls consult an attorney because if you accept the role of power of attorney, you could become liable for her bills, at least in some places.

Marthe48

(19,181 posts)
4. Thank you
Wed Sep 4, 2024, 03:00 PM
Sep 2024

I'm avoiding the role. It probably wouldn't work for us. :/

Like me, she has a small family, and no one she'd ask to do this.

progree

(11,463 posts)
5. There's a recent thread about a similar situation that might have some useful ideas for
Wed Sep 4, 2024, 03:02 PM
Sep 2024

your situation. (A lot of differences between your and their situation too, but both deal with what to do if someone can't manage their finances)

https://www.democraticunderground.com/11215566

Marthe48

(19,181 posts)
7. Thanks
Wed Sep 4, 2024, 03:10 PM
Sep 2024

I bookmarked it, too. I think she has some things in place, but not someone managing the bills.
When our parents get older, the kids might have to talk to them about end of life matters. Do friends do the talk if there are no kids?

Latest Discussions»Culture Forums»Personal Finance and Investing»My friend is ailing