Men are becoming more violent against women around the world. Google shows how.

[janterry]

https://www.msnbc.com/opinion/men-are-becoming-more-violent-against-women-around-world-google-n1265072?icid=msd_topgrid


This pandemic hasn’t just been harder on women — it’s been deadlier for women. In February, a woman and her mother were reportedly shot and killed by the woman's boyfriend in Dallas; he then broadcast his apology live on Instagram before dying by suicide. In March, a nurse was killed by her ex-boyfriend in Minnesota, and in April dispatchers received a chilling 911 call from a 9-year-old girl in Brooklyn after her father killed her mom and her two sisters in the middle of her birthday party. In the United States, preliminary data suggests that the number of men accused of killing their wives or girlfriends has doubled in some counties, while calls to domestic violence hotlines and to the police for domestic abuse soared, according to a 2020 analysis.

There’s no way to sugarcoat it: Men on a global scale are increasingly killing the women they purport to love.

And it’s not just in America.

[riversedge]

1. Women are crying for help. Google may be listening, but is it helping? None of the aforementioned

Men are becoming more violent against women around the world. Google shows how.

https://www.msnbc.com/opinion/men-are-becoming-more-violent-against-women-around-world-google-n1265072?icid=msd_topgrid


Women are crying for help. Google may be listening, but is it helping?

None of the aforementioned searches appear to return any domestic violence resources or hotlines. If suicide search terms assiduously connect an internet user with links to dissuade them from harming themselves, why isn’t Google doing the same for domestic abuse, especially if millions of survivors are explicitly turning to Google for help?

Meanwhile, when I typed “how to control your woman” from Venice, California, the search engine suggested a litany of articles instructing a male reader on how to psychologically abuse his intimate partner. One of the first links Google proposed was a blog post offering step-by-step guidance for men on how to restrict what a female partner wears, where she travels, what she eats and even what she spends her money on. These are all signature features of “coercive control,” recently recognized as a criminal form of domestic abuse in Hawaii — similar laws are in the works in New York and Connecticut.

When I typed “how to control your woman” from Venice, California, the search engine suggested a litany of articles instructing a male reader on how to psychologically abuse his intimate partner.

Instead of being deterred from harming women, male internet users are persuaded to view themselves as the victim instead. “I’ll be blunt here,” one of the top suggested articles starts with. “You’re reading this because you’re getting pussywhipped by your girlfriend.”

Google also prompted me to go further down the misogynistic rabbit hole as it impelled me to click on more suggested search terms like “how to control a woman emotionally” and “how to manipulate your girlfriend.” Even the YouTube videos that it proposed were disturbing. The first suggested video, “How to Control Your Girlfriend,” shows a misogynistic dystopian male revenge fantasy of a protagonist commanding his girlfriend’s actions and behaviors with a remote control...........................................................................

[Me.]

2. THey're Losing Dominance Across THe Board

and I believe it is one of the causes of all this rage

[58Sunliner]

30. If it is a perceived loss of power then that would be a pathological reaction.

[wnylib]

44. Domestic violence IS pathological

and it IS about power and control over one's partner.

[Me.]

49. Quite

[58Sunliner]

56. It certainly can be.

[whathehell]

53. Why is it pathological only when it's a "perceived" loss of power

rather than a real case of having to share power with women?

Is violent backlash against PoC by Whites pathological only when it's "perceived", rather than real?

[58Sunliner]

55. It's not reality that matters to a pathological illness-involving, caused by, or of the nature of

a physical or mental disease. Perception is what motivates people to react. Male violence against women is both real and pathological. Same as the backlash.

[bucolic_frolic]

3. Wow. There have always been jilted lovers, triangles, sadists

Sociologists and psychologists will have centuries of employment on this one topic.

I blame entitlement, instant gratification, the digital world of instant communication, pornography, abused lives, inequality.

It all adds up to narcissistic borderline sociopathic personalities with no self-control, little respect for the boundaries of others, and anger that they can't sort it out and get what they want now.

The wiring together of humanity in the modern digital world has gone horribly wrong.

And by the way, there are women who do this too, or are provocateurs who incite others.

Imagine the demons in Donald's head!

[Scrivener7]

8. "there are women who do this too, or are provacateurs who incite others."

It's both sides, is it?

[bucolic_frolic]

12. Sometimes, it is. There are TV shows and YouTube series on the subject

Women who had their ex's bumped off, who paid assailants to do the deed. It may be rare compared to the reverse orientation, but it's still not a deniable reality.

[Scrivener7]

13. And it was totally necessary that you brought that up during a discussion of the DOUBLING of

violence against women and killing of women by their domestic partners.

Because it's on youtube. And besides, "whatabout."

Again:

[Scrivener7]

15. Oh, for everloving fuck's sake. Any other republiQan-generated points you want to make here?

[bucolic_frolic]

17. I am not making RepubliQan-generated points. I am presenting equality and reality

Equality is not privilege. Equality is not one-sided. It is unbiased, based upon facts.

[Scrivener7]

18. Seriously, this is sad. I'm out. I'm sure you will cry "cancel culture" but remember: cancel

culture is what republiQans call it when they behave vilely and no one wants to talk to them any more. It's really just the natural social consequence of being too obnoxious for words.

[ananda]

22. Yeah, you kinda are.

You are both-sidings an issue that is strictly violence against women
by men.

Period.

[58Sunliner]

28. Reality?? Do men worry about physical abuse/murder if they leave their partners?

Do they worry about being stalked, raped, abused by their loved ones and strangers? Do they worry about a court and police system that favors males? Do men worry about public exposure to ridicule and abuse when they come forward to seek justice? How many male rape videos do we see online? How many football players are female who still get to play after credible accusations of rape? Do you worry about keeping your doors and windows locked to prevent rape and murder? This cuts across all race lines too. Where is your "equality"??? Do we have to teach men/boys how to avoid being raped? Minimum 30 percent of all women report some form of sexual assault. And those numbers are under-reported. Child abuse victims are predominantly female. There is something very sick and deadly in our world, and denial won't solve the problems.

[wnylib]

46. I spent 5 years in a violent marriage

before I was able to get out. Then I dealt with stalking and death threats after I left him, including 3 hours alone in a car in the middle of nowhere at the muzzle end of a gun, answering invasive and meandering questions from my ex.

So I know a little about domestic violence. I made it my business to learn more about it once I was completely out of that marriage. Did not want any repeats.

I learned that men can be and are victims of domestic violence by women. It is not as frequent as men against women - or at least is not reported as often - but it does happen. Women with strong needs to dominate and hurt men can and do use psychological methods of destroying self esteem and confidence, and back it up with violence.

Men are too embarrassed to report it. They are not believed. They are treated with crude "humor" when they do talk about it. They sometimes stay in a relationship out of fear of leaving their children in the hands of a violence prone mother since women often get custody of children, even if only partial custody. Men especially worry about their sons in those relationships.

After leaving a violent wife or girlfriend, men are often stalked by their ex or threatened with charges that would cost them visits with their children, just as happens in the reverse situation of men who are violent with women.

It really is a thing. It really does happen. It's about personality types, insecurity, need to control and dominate, need to hurt others. It is not both siderism to say that it exists.

[Scrivener7]

48. I am very, very sorry to hear about what you went through, and very impressed that you

got through it and are here to talk about it.

BUT. This is a thread about the shocking recent increase in violence against women by men. It is not a thread about abusive wives or girlfriends. We know abusive wives and girlfriends exist. But they are not the topic of this discussion.

If the thread is hijacked into a discussion about abusive wives and girlfriends, we will have effectively dismissed the INFINITELY more frequent and likely problem of violence of men against women. A problem that has increased by a shocking amount in the past year.

If people want to discuss abuse by women against their male partners, I suggest starting a separate thread about it.

[wnylib]

50. OK. I'm fine with keeping it on topic, but

why not say that in the first place, instead of downplaying or ignoring the fact that it does happen to men, too? Several posts were dedicated to angry comparisons of male vs. female violence. A simple "Yes, it does happen, but this thread is about male on female violence" would have been sufficient.

I am alive today because of many factors - initial advice from police on getting out when I was too afraid to press charges, my own gut instincts on handling dangerous situations like the one with the gun, help from friends and family, and luck. I can talk about it today because it was many years ago, in my early 20s. I am now 71. For a long time I did not talk about it. Not exactly party or casual conversation material. Too horrifying for many to hear, and too stressful to me to deal with BS like, "So why did you stay so long?" Or, "What did you do to provoke him?"

But I knew I had to deal with the effects on me and learn about the problem of domestic violence beyond my own experience. I worked for a time as both a volunteer and paid advocate in domestic violence programs. I learned about the psychological and sociological dynamics of it.

I also learned that I can speak about it (in appropriate settings) and not feel like it was a weakness on my part for having been in such a situation in the first place, as some feminists claim. I can share experiences and support for people who are dealing with it because I have been there and am alive to be a witness for others.

One thing lacking in this thread, IMO, is solid concrete tips for dealing with domestic violence. As a friend told me once, anyone can complain about something, but if that's all you do, complaints take the place of resolving the problem.

It would take a little time to put it together, but I would like to start a thread on practical advice for surviving, getting out, and then moving on.

[sheshe2]

51. That is not reality that you speak of.

You are correct here:

Equality is not privilege.

It is a right. One that many women fought for, were imprisoned for, were tortured for and died for.

Equality is not one-sided. It is unbiased, based upon facts.

You are posting in the Feminists Group so I will not address all inequality here. I will focus on the women that this is about.

When it comes to equality for women, it is most definitely one sided. When exactly did women get the right to vote? 1920.

Women's bodies are still not considered their own. To this day our bodies ourselves are being targeted by the laws of men. It is biased, and not based upon facts.

Enough said.

[niyad]

21. You can, of course, provide statistics and percentages. Unless it has changed drastically, nowhere

near the "both sides reality" you are insisting upon. And "cancel culture"?? Wow.

[wryter2000]

41. TV shows and YouTube channels

That’s where I always get my data

[Dream Girl]

27. His does happen. Perhaps more than some would like to admit.

I’ve seen this in my own family. It comes with codependency and substance abuse, particularly alcoholism.

[Scrivener7]

31. We know it happens. So do rainy days and traffic jams. But that is not what we are talking

about here. This is a conversation about an unbelievably huge recent increase against violence against women.

To hijack that conversation and make it about something else minimizes the fact of the unbelievably huge recent increase in violence against women.

[Dream Girl]

35. I shouldn't have commented. I didn't tread the article, but from the OP thought they were cited that

Had also been an increase in female domestic violence as well. Female domestic violence is a real thing and I thought there was an increase in that as well. As I said, it does exist usually coupled with alcohol abuse. The dynamic and causes are far different than male domestic violence. It’s not abound dominance and subjugation.

[Scrivener7]

39. It is a real problem. And a terrible one. Just not what we are talking about here.

[Dream Girl]

40. Got it.

[Scrivener7]

43. I know you do. And my comment was meant to convey that I know you do and to not

minimize the situation in your family, which must be very difficult.

I am so disgusted by comments by some others in this thread that it might not have come across that way.

[CousinIT]

23. Violence against women has DOUBLED and your response is "women do it too"?

Which excuses and negates that 50% increase in violence against women as if it is negligible and doesn't mean anything and shouldn't mean anything. . . . that it's just "normal" behavior.

YOUR RESPONSE HERE is ITSELF the definition of mental and emotional abuse.

How? Here I'll spell it out for you:

Accusing, blaming, and denial
This behavior comes from an abuser’s insecurities. They want to create a hierarchy in which they’re at the top and you’re at the bottom. Or that abuse is EQUAL to and justified by the victim's behavior.

Here are some examples:

Turning the tables. They say you cause their rage and control issues by being such a pain. ('women who do this too, or are provocateurs who incite others.')
Denying something you know is true. An abuser will deny that an argument or even an agreement took place. This is called gaslighting. It’s meant to make you question your own memory and sanity. (you are gaslighting other here about this global increase in violence against women)
Goading then blaming. Abusers know just how to upset you. But once the trouble starts, it’s your fault for creating it. ('women who do this too, or are provocateurs who incite others.')
Denying their abuse. When you complain about their attacks, abusers will deny it, seemingly bewildered at the very thought of it. (you and others here WILL be 'bewildered' at my telling you that your response here is in itself abuse - WATCH - it'll happen)
Accusing you of abuse. They say you’re the one who has anger and control issues and they’re the helpless victim. (abusive men always portray themselves as helpless victims - 'pussywhipped' - your response here - supports them ie: 'women who do this too, or are provocateurs who incite others.')
Trivializing. When you want to talk about your hurt feelings, they accuse you of overreacting and making mountains out of molehills. (your response here ('Wow. There have always been jilted lovers, triangles, sadists') is TRIVIALIZING. Period.)
Blaming you for their problems. Whatever’s wrong in their life is all your fault. You’re not supportive enough, didn’t do enough, or stuck your nose where it didn’t belong. (you are blaming women for the 50% increase in violence against them - in your response - while trying to pass that 50% increase in violence against women as "normal" and also trivial)
Destroying and denying. They might crack your cell phone screen or “lose” your car keys, then deny it. (your response 'women do it too' and your attempt to pass this behavior off as "normal" is flat out denial of that 50% increase, in addition to trivializing it)

[Scrivener7]

26. Thank you.

[sheshe2]

52. Thank you, CousinIT.

[whathehell]

54. Thanks for calling out the false equivalence, CousinIT

On average, men are three inches taller and 60 lbs heavier than women "Women do it too"?!?

Riioiigghht.

[obamanut2012]

37. Gross

[no_hypocrisy]

4. Men on a global scale are increasingly killing the women they can't control.

[Scrivener7]

7. Oh, great. The "whataboutists" are weighing in.

[58Sunliner]

32. Denial.

[obamanut2012]

38. Not true

[Scrivener7]

6. I was going to quote Will Smith and ask if it is just that it is documented, but the article shows

that clearly is not the case and the incidents of men assaulting and killing the women around them has clearly jumped.

This is heartbreaking, but not at all surprising given the fact that men are giving themselves new permissions to be vile in all kinds of ways. We see it in the changing rhetoric and increasing male dominance and female repression of the republiQan party. We see it in this apologia for penis-representing guns on both sides of the aisle (looking at you, gungeon). We see it in the rise of evangelism which has become nothing but a front for demeaning and repressing women. We see it in the increasingly violent and demeaning forms of pornography (yes, deal with it, I'm blaming pornography) that are available to anyone with a keyboard.

Once upon a time, strength meant dominance. Now control of information and ability to use information means dominance. The playing field is more equal. Some men - straight men - truly despise women due to the fact that the men are no longer entitled to be catered to by women.

[Duppers]

9. Wow! Deeply, deeply disturbing.

Read the entire article but still have no insights into the causes.

The article unfairly picked on Pres. Biden for not doing enough to address these issues but it said absolutely squat about tRump & rethugians doing NOTHING to address them.

I'd bet $1K that Republican men are twice as likely to abuse women (& children) than Democratic men are. Misogyny & anger runs very deep in that psycho party.

[oldsoftie]

10. In many other countries, its encouraged. Look at Islamic laws regarding women.

"Honor" killings & assaults in other countries as well

[LymphocyteLover]

11. Rightwingers will no doubt blame this on lockdowns -- 'look what Democrats made men do'

[Scrivener7]

16. No. From the responses to this thread, the line seems to be, "But women do it too."

SMFH

[LymphocyteLover]

47. Ugh....but I have heard increases in domestic violence being blamed on "Democratic" lockdowns

[Backseat Driver]

19. Indeed, "Why do the ladies stay?"

No broken bones, no bruises, Just a pattern of covered overdrafts, her unrepaired vehicle or the use of hers when his goes unrepaired because, he works...and she's lucky (to stay home) so supported on his income, however small by choice or unemployment, marital identity theft; marital "chore theft," ever so busy, busy, busy emotionally, psychologically/emotionally" providing what wasn't asked for because what the the public thinks his lady needs/wants is just great, a public substitute without regard for what she has requested in private over and over and over, imprisoning her privately in a pumpkin shell of solitary confinement meant only for his own "companionship" only as he sees it inside those doors though he's so lonely???...as it were...after all...HE LOVES HER!...gradually, would such a total "disrespect" and "control" turn violent eventually as SHE becomes more frustrated? Rejected for assistance by relatives, friends, social safety-nets, counselors because their guy acts so upright and helpful? Asking for a friend who has it soooooo good as part of a couple but who also knows what she needs as a woman but in a culture where there's so much more misogyny and actual "violence" awaiting on the outside of that sham shell of safety!

Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater;
Had a wife and would not keep her;
Put her in a pumpkin shell;
And there he kept her very well (but not).

[-misanthroptimist]

20. It's tempting to think...

...that the sooner humans learn how to reproduce without men, the sooner real progress can be made. We men are responsible for ~90% of all crime and ~95% of violent crime the last time I checked. And that's just crime. I doubt that there are solid figures for verbal abuse, various forms of intimidation, etc.

And some of us are quite good at hiding what we are. I have relatives that are universally thought of as nice guys by those they deal with in public. When they get home...they're not so nice.

[CousinIT]

42. Jekyll and Hyde personality (Mr. Nice Guy in public, monster in private)

Classic abuse. Serves as a useful tool to silence and marginalize the target(s) of the abuse - no one will believe Mr. Nice Guy would EVER be abusive. If the target complains or tries to tell anyone, she is not believed. Abuser tells everyone SHE is 'crazy', and 'overreacts'.

[Roc2020]

24. i do think the growing influence of women

around the world plus the lockdown etc is fueling this. An insecure husband/boyfriend is dangerous to his woman

[58Sunliner]

33. Women aren't fueling this. Men are. Men are responsible for how they cope.

If a stresser brings out a fault in a system then the system was a failure waiting to happen.

[Lonestarblue]

25. There are times when I think the Internet has done more harm than good.

And we seem to be living one now. Right-wing domestic terrorists use it to recruit the gullible, convert them to violence, and plan attacks. Those who spread lies and disinformation, like Putin’s Russia, right-wing German groups, ISIS/al Qaeda, and others around the world solely to disrupt and enrage people and convince them to take actions they might never have thought about taking without such provocation.

The world seems full of rage and hate right now, and while more traditional means could be and have been used to stir up populations to hate others and become violent, the Internet makes it quicker and easier. I believe that anger is mostly cultivated in men, especially young males looking for affiliation of some sort, and that anger spills over to the women in their lives. That anger and violence occurs more with men because, quite honestly, most women are simply too busy to spend their time listening to the garbage that sends men over the edge. It is still primarily women who hold jobs, take care of the kids, clean the house, grocery shop, and get regular meals on the table. Women are still expected to handle all the traditional roles, and yes some men also share those roles, but it is not nearly common enough, especially in the more traditional societies around the world.

We need to ask what is fueling this rage, not just here but around the world. What is making people so dissatisfied that violence against others is becoming so common. We have always had the power struggles, but they seem to be getting more common also. The idea that a political party would even try to make a power grab to overturn a fair US presidential election would not have been a rational thought a decade ago. Yet it happened, and will likely happen again. I must admit that I’m clueless about how to stop this descent into anarchy, but somehow we must, or at least here we will not have a country where all people have rights.

[Wounded Bear]

29. Goes along with all the RW macho bullshit...

Glorifying bullying will have consequences, and by and large women are prime targets for bullying by falsely entitled males.

[58Sunliner]

34. It isn't just right wing. And it isn't just white males.

[Wounded Bear]

36. But they're glorifying it...and I didn't say "white"...it's happening all over the world...nt

[Submariner]

45. Duh........

We have gone from 3 billion people in 1960 to 8 billion today. Not only is that more people who are using up and destroying the planets natural resources, but obviously more people means more conflict, more hate, more death.

And violence against women around the world will continue to rise as the population increases. For the most part, men are physically stronger than women, men can more easily over power and hurt women, and let's face it, weak men like to physically hurt women to give themselves a sense of power.

I feel many thousands more women need to be in the law enforcement, particularly judges, because from what I have observed, too many women are killing their attackers in self defense, and ending up in prison for decades.

I Feel the system needs to be changed to allow these women to kill in self defense without worrying about a ruined life in prison, or the above statistics will continue to rise..