What are people supposed to do if...

[Buckeye_Democrat]

... they have no family or close friends to accompany them for a surgical procedure? Are there businesses that can transport the patient from the hospital after the surgery is done?

I'm supposedly required to have someone at the hospital with me the entire time, to drive me home, and thankfully my retired brother and his wife have agreed to do it. But I've lived alone for over 22 years now (which I prefer if a potential companion gives the slightest hint of a domineering personality), and most of my siblings are much older than me. A 76 year-old sister is 21 years older than me, for example, because I was an unexpected "pill baby" when our parents were in their 40's.

So does anyone know what I might do in the future, if I'm still alone and all of my older siblings are dead? (There's some nieces and nephews, but they live far away or they're somewhat nearby but focused on their own immediate families.)

By the way, it's reconstructive surgery of my lower eyelid at Ohio State's hospital. I'm cancer-free now, thanks to their treatments! So it's now just a matter of replacing the lower eyelid that withered away because of the skin cancer, since what little remains of that eyelid rolls up on itself whenever I blink -- causing the outer skin below to rub my eyeball. The ophthalmologist/surgeon says my eyeball will always be inflamed unless that eyelid is fixed.

Far better than what a local oculofacial surgeon wanted to do months ago! He planned to remove the cancerous lower eyelid, plus the entire contents of the eye socket and part of the upper eyelid! Then he'd permanently stitch what was left of the upper and lower eyelids! He also confidently declared that the cancer was also on my eyeball, without doing any tests.

I soon thereafter (months ago) scheduled an appointment at The James Cancer Hospital (Ohio State) to get a second opinion. Glad that I did! Their doctors said the eyeball only had a blister on the conjunctiva, called chemosis, caused by the rubbing of the lower eyelid tumors against it. Then they ordered a PET scan to verify it, and there was indeed no cancer detected anywhere else except the lower eyelid!

April 2022:


January 2023:

[multigraincracker]

1. I've lied and said I have driver.

Had to drive back fro Toledo, about 40 miles. I made it.

[Buckeye_Democrat]

2. I've done that with outpatient procedures, like...

... when I was getting injections of Avastin into my eyes almost every month years ago to treat (early onset) wet macular degeneration caused by a rare genetic condition. It's been dormant for about 9 years now, thankfully! The Universe seems determined to take away my eyesight! I'm pretty healthy except for eye problems of one kind or another!

Ohio State will verify that I have family with me, though, according to a letter they sent me.

Here's a video which indicates the same:

[phylny]

22. Be careful with this approach.

If, heaven forbid, you are in a car accident, you'll be in big trouble if it can be shown you were not supposed to be driving after a procedure.

[Diamond_Dog]

3. Hi Buckeye,

Congratulations on being cancer-free! I’m a 15 year survivor myself.

This is a problem that I think is becoming more and more common as we Boomers need surgeries and procedures.

It’s like the medical community is in denial that anyone our age might live alone and not have family close by who can drop everything to ferry us around and/or take a day off work to baby sit us.

A few years ago my sister 65 miles away needed a ride home from the ER at 3 in the morning. She lives alone and was reluctant to call a neighbor out of the blue in the middle of the night, so she signed up for Uber right then and there on her phone and a nice young man came within a half an hour to take her home and even helped her to the door (she had a trauma to her leg)
I don’t know if this is possible for you, but it’s just a suggestion.

I agree it’s a problem as we age, and I wish there was a better answer. Good luck!

[Buckeye_Democrat]

5. Thank you for that suggestion!

I plan to ask them if that would be acceptable, if I didn't have any family left to help me.

I've never used Uber, but I definitely would in that situation.

I also noticed that there's a nearby hotel with shuttle service to and from their hospital, but I doubt their drivers would do such a thing because they're surely expected to keep a regular shuttle schedule. Uber drivers would have more freedom in that regard. (Charging for the wait, I'm sure, but that's okay.)

[Dale in Laurel MD]

8. Uber may not be sufficient.

A hospital where I've had a couple of procedures (and will be going for at least one more) specifically disallows taxis, Uber, etc. They insist on your having -- and their actually seeing -- a responsible adult who knows you and can assume some responsibility.

Fortunately, I have a neighbor who is very willing to be accommodating. My church (Unitarian Universalist) also has a group who can provide rides for such events in a pinch.

[Buckeye_Democrat]

10. Ah! Thanks for your reply!

It sounds like various volunteer organizations are needed for that scenario, then.

[IbogaProject]

25. Sounds like we need to setup a swap

This sounds like something. Once it's setup you do a pickup and then someone else picks you up in a kind of perpetual pay it forward. Good luck. Maybe contact the healthcare group and see if a social worker can get it figured out. A quick background check might be needed for the liability.

[Midnight Writer]

4. I'm in the same boat.

I have an older sibling who has helped me out in the past, but is no longer healthy enough.

[Buckeye_Democrat]

6. Ugh, I'm sorry!

I'm going to ask the hospital about the possibility of Uber drivers serving that purpose.

[jmbar2]

7. don't know about your area, but the local senior services office here has volunteers

that can be called to perform this function. Of course, it all depends on if one is available that day and time, but worth a call.

So happy that you have survived what was undoubtedly a very scary diagnosis.

Good luck!

[Buckeye_Democrat]

9. Thanks for that suggestion!

I'll try to learn more from hospital staff when I get there in a few more weeks, but I'd think volunteers from a seniors services center would be acceptable!

I know there's elderly people out there without any family, and hospitals must be aware of it!

Edit: Going through the regular treatments for macular degeneration years ago was more stressful to me, to be honest, but it was indeed very concerning. And I definitely didn't want to have an eyeball so flippantly removed by the first surgeon that I consulted, figuring that I just might lose vision in the other eye soon thereafter. There's no indication it would happen, but I didn't want to risk it. My two oldest siblings have been legally blind for years from the same (recessive) genetic condition that causes early-age macular degeneration, and it's taught me to cherish all of my eyesight!

[jmbar2]

19. Sounds like you are staying on top of things and advocating well for yourself.

I am also without close family around, so learning a lot from your post. Thanks for sharing.

[Christian255]

11. You're not alone...

I’m in a similar situation. I typically have to wait until a friend or family member can come for a visit (wait…is that why I don’t get many visits anymore?! Lol). I’m not sure if this will help but I recently became aware of some possible alternative options:
1) call your insurance - some will provide transportation.
2) google search for ‘medical rides near you’.
3) try rentafriend.com (I recently came across that site while searching for income opportunities. My doctors didn’t allow for Uber/Lift with my last procedure but if you can find a listing for a friend who offers rides it’s worth reaching out to them. I have knee issues but if I can get them sorted, I’d like to list myself there or on similar sites as a medical rides/surgery companion).

If I had the money, I’d commission someone to build an app just for that.

I wish you the best of luck finding a ride/companion and hope your surgery goes well!

[Buckeye_Democrat]

12. Great ideas!

For pete's sake, I somehow didn't even think about rides from an insurance provider! Yet I've seen such services described in the past!

[Warpy]

13. Tha facility where you're having surgery should know the names

of services that will pick you up after surgery and deliver you home. I don't know why the hell they don't want us to just use cabs, it always seemed really stupid to pay three times what a cab would cost for essentially the same thing.

Hospitals do a lot of stupid shit, most of it aimed at avoiding litigation.

I have used these services because I'm out of family and my neighbors, while helpful, all had jobs.

So give the hospital a call and find out who does the pickups in your area. You can take a cab in, use the service to go home. You're not the only one in this position, trust me.

Good luck with your surgery.

[Buckeye_Democrat]

14. Thank you, Warpy.

There's been several good suggestions in this thread already, but I'll indeed ask the hospital for suggestions too. They have to know that there's many people out there without family or close friends who can help in these situations.

[hippywife]

15. A lot of people are apparently missing the fact...

that you have to have someone stay there the whole time. Since it's weeks away at this point, I would think that's plenty of time to give one of your niblings a heads up that you need help. Who knows, they might enjoy the day off from work, or even be able to work remotely from the hospital if they have a job that's amenable to that. I'd ask them. Offer them gas money and/or lunch, rather than pay some stranger f you don't have to.

I had an angiogram at the end of February, and after I came out and found everything looked good and they didn't have to place a stent and could go home the same day, I sent my husband home for a while since they said I had to remain flat on my back for 6 more hours. No one even noticed he was gone. Could have been anywhere in the hospital for all they knew.

[Buckeye_Democrat]

16. Ugh!

I actually do have a retired older brother and sister-in-law who will be there with me, but I'm already thinking about the future. That brother didn't inherit the rare genetic condition that can cause blindness, but he's also no spring chicken anymore.

Edit: I could also start thinking about dating apps, I suppose -- e.g., seeking an equally "boring" companion who mostly likes to read or watch science videos in her free time, like me. Most women that I've met would otherwise consider me duller than watching grass grow.

[hippywife]

17. Seriously, tho...

if you have any sort of relationship with the niblings, get one of them to do it. Are any of them the offspring of this older brother and SIL? You could approach them with, "I really hate to have to ask your dad and mom to do it again." Even without guilting them into it, I bet one of them would be happy to do it.

[Buckeye_Democrat]

18. That's indeed a future possibility, but...

... I wouldn't want to count on them. Most of my closer (think alike) nieces and nephews left Ohio, anyway.

Transportation through insurance seems like the best option so far. Again, if I need such help sometime in the future.

[hippywife]

20. If I still lived there in Cbus...

I'd take you. Hope all goes well.

[Buckeye_Democrat]

21. Thanks!

I've still got family to help out, thankfully. I'm probably just over-thinking a future without them.

[Warpy]

23. That might vary from place to place

but my day surgeries have only required someone to collect me when I woke up.

[hippywife]

24. No kidding? /s