Mental Health Support
Related: About this forumHow is everyone today?
This is about you, not me.
Rough ups and downs are the scripts for our lives. The way you folks rallied around me may now be needed for you all.
Can I help? In any limited way? Even as a simple outlet for confusion and pain?
slumcamper
(1,735 posts)Sunriser13
(612 posts)Is there room in your psyche to breathe?
Maybe a sustained deep in and out, your love and beauty and gratitude in, their hate and ugliness and selfishness out.
slumcamper
(1,735 posts)My therapeutic breathing will transpire in the deep woods, isolated from all others, while in annual quest of morel mushrooms. Assuming past is prelude, my psyche will meld with the impulse and rhythm of nature an I will enjoy a visceral experience of healing--a personal springtime ritual that unfolds in concert with nature's renewal.
Alas, I live in a place that offers such opportunity. I hold on to deep-seated anxieties relative to the majority who do not. I am awash in cognitive dissonance!
How long do you stay?
Is looking forward to your sabbatical stressing you or is it comforting you?
I_UndergroundPanther
(12,952 posts)Lately when I wake up and begin the day I have strange thoughts. Saw a big white trailer outside my building and thought it was full of dead people.
I sat on my bed and watched it from my window. With all sorts of thoughts and feelings rumbling through. I just wanted my mom back. I felt awful.
Than I saw people drive a lawnmower out and down a ramp and I realized it was the guys who do the lawn out here.
An ambulance took a person from my building away. That was last week. In my county exactly where I live has the highest count of CV patients in my county. My county had the first death in Maryland.
It's been wearing on me.
Tomorrow I have an SSI
in person recertificationn scheduled. I tried calling the SS office earlier last week no one answered. I am very anxious about it. My counselor said they'd call me tomorrow and the anxiety I may miss the call is going to drive me nuts all day. I don't know what to do about the appointment. I'll try calling them in the morning at 8 or 9 am. Trump wants to fuck over people on disability I hope my SSI isn't fucked up from the quarentine.
You know those republican assholes want to fuck up the lives of disabled people.
Sometimes I wish I could sleep and wake up when it's over. If it ever ends.
Sunriser13
(612 posts)I may post later about a really bizarre dream I had last week. But that's not the reason for this post. This is for you.
Fear, I believe, can cause so much of our inability to cope sometimes. Your words are filled with fear. I wish I could help it go away.
I so hope your recertification goes without drama. Surely there is something in place to keep on with "regular" business in something so important as your SSI.
Try resting as much as you can if you cannot sleep, and set all your alarm clocks for 15 minutes before the office opens. (Longer if it takes longer than that for you to come to consciousness... )
Here's a hug from me -
I have extras, would another help?
I_UndergroundPanther
(12,952 posts)My psych counseler told me to not to worry about it because of quarentine n but I'm worried anyway.
I hope you are okay Sunriser13
Sunriser13
(612 posts)Waiting for the callback to tell me when so I can arrange a taxi.
But here's a frazzled hug for you...
Sunriser13
(612 posts)Were they able to do the distanced meeting (hopefully just a phone call) to recertify you?
I_UndergroundPanther
(12,952 posts)I had my counselor take over my info and put it in the drop box ,a day late. I dunno if they even check the drop box. I don't drive,and my counselors at my program told me not to worry about it. I left messages for my ss
Caseworker on the day of the recertification asking her what to do.She never called me back. I hope they don't screw with me because I didn't know what to do.
The times I called before they didn't even have a message set up for me to ask what do I do.
I hope the republican trash are not using the quarentine as an excuse to cut people off SSI who are not able to go to recertifications when ss isn't open.
Sunriser13
(612 posts)You certainly can't be penalized for not being able to attend a meeting when they're not even open for business.
You've done all you can do right now. Let your anxiety drain away, relax the best way you can.
Cutting folks off for something beyond your control would have attorneys chomping at the bit. For now, you get to play a waiting game. Be patient. I know it's not easy, but eventually SS will address what they can't do right now.
Hugs!
I_UndergroundPanther
(12,952 posts)I get my check next month or I'll lose everything,literally.
Sunriser13
(612 posts)But your fear and anxiety won't make one bit of difference in the outcome, hun.
Yet it's freaking you out, which makes it impossible for you to think of anything else. That is so not good for you...
Before cutting out something so vital to so many, especially when they aren't holding up to their side of the "contract" to be available for appointments, could not possibly stand. I wish they'd send out some guidance for you, though. Just a simple letter would mean so much to ease your mind!
Hugs, Panther!
Grab a couple of those to hug yourself with, OK?
mopinko
(71,910 posts)lost her amazing genius of a son to addiction.
her brother is my brother of choice, and best friend. he tried hard to help this kid, and was a surrogate dad to him all his life.
abuse by a bad boyfriend at the root of all this, and i am sure she is drowning in guilt.
has a 1 yo son, who i am sure she will now fight to get away from his junkie mom.
gonna take her some plants for her garden tomorrow, and risk contagion to hug her till both our ribs creak.
had a shitty day today, trying to shake off the dread and weight of it all.
as a mom of multiple kids w mi, i cant tell you how glad i am that none of them have addiction issues.
Sunriser13
(612 posts)I'm so sorry. Abuse sucks.
Some of the people that used to come to me for help are gone now, but many more are not. Not all are sober or drug-free yet, but it is a process. Not everybody makes it.
Carefully console, as I know you must. Her brother will also be in a dark place. Guilt can kill, too, and I pray the family can work through. Separation because of isolation will make it much harder.
Please be safe for all of you. They need you, and so do we.
Sunriser13
(612 posts)How are you holding up?
Did you see them like you planned? Be so very careful, but I know you feel you must give hug - and giving hug is I'd bet one of the things you're best at.
BIG, big hugs to you from me!
mopinko
(71,910 posts)i will try to catch up w her tomorrow to hand off some plants for her yard.
she is still numb.
and yeah, i will hug her. fuck it. hugs are my super power. you bet imma lay it on her.
me, i'm holding up, but i can feel the weight of it when i walk around. had a couple draggy days. cold and cloudy, too. i need sunshine.
garden is keeping me busy tho. dragging me along through the seasons, whether i like it or not, like it always has.
your message made my day, tho dear. it really did.
Midnight Writer
(23,064 posts)Sunriser13
(612 posts)Is it anything you can (or wish to) share?
littlemissmartypants
(25,714 posts)Thanks for asking hunnie bunnie.
❤ lmsp
Sunriser13
(612 posts)I did, but that's just where I am again today.
You're more than welcome.
Right now, I just want to hunt my happier place by helping others.
This is about you folks.
Hugs to all - I got plenty!
I_UndergroundPanther
(12,952 posts)Not crying day👍
vercetti2021
(10,403 posts)Keep thinking about the one girl that had a crush on me that got away. But she broke a date with me to go to the bar. How can I trust that?
Sunriser13
(612 posts)Side note - you must have ESP; I literally signed on about 5 minutes before you posted. I've been out of it since Tuesday. Cat visits to vet, and of course, it's my "son" who's having issues, so nerve-racking to say the least.
I want to help you; how can I assist?
vercetti2021
(10,403 posts)ESP? I never heard of that and it was a common experience kind of a few months ago she got a boyfriend but she did like me a lot and always wanted me to come over and I did but she kind of pulled that I'm tired and I took a sleeping pill method on me so I could leave early.
Sunriser13
(612 posts)It's when you sort of know something there's no known real reason to know, just a feeling, sometimes. Shortest definition I can come up with right now. I hope it makes sense.
It was such a strong coincidence that you posted right as I came back online, and so I could answer you quicker.
IMHO, I don't think you would benefit by pursuing any real relationship with her - it's causing you too much distress. It sounds like she has moved on, and I hope that's OK with you.
The most important thing is your healing, and there are wonderful folks in this forum. Do you think you need an OP of your own so more than just me can help?
Hugs!
vercetti2021
(10,403 posts)ESP sounds cool though. Maybe that is the case! I'm not sure.
And I'm sure she did. I guess it feels superficial to feel like how someone can have a crush so hard and then it just proofs away. But my own fault for not pursuing further after she broke off our date.