Old Christmas

[OldBaldy1701E]

This is something that is celebrated to this day in certain parts of coastal North Carolina. Back in the day, we would all drive down to Rodanthe and take part in the celebration. All that seafood! Although the tradition of Old Bucca, or Old Buck, was just artwork at that time, I heard older people tell me about seeing him during their childhood. There were presents, but not like what you got on the 25th. These were more personal and given as tokens of affection. A grand tradition that I miss terribly from this advanced age and geographic position.

So, today, January 6th, is another Old Christmas. I had a decent enough December 25th, although I sat alone due to my hubby having to work and our roommate being out of town. And, here I sit again... alone. Hubby is working and roomie is out for the night. Tomorrow, I take all this down and return the house to its drab, dull, tomb-like appearance. (We don't own it so we cannot do anything about it. The roomie/owner has the taste of an 1820s innkeeper. The walls are sky blue. The ceiling, carpets, and trim are all white. We live in Minnesota and it is not very mentally helpful to live in a perpetual snowstorm when you are from warmer climes.) I am ambivalent about this, as it really does not matter one way or the other. But tonight, I sit here alone. With my husband working nights and me having to be active during the day, we seldom see each other. I avoid the roomie if at all possible, which is an entirely different horror show. He has no idea how much we know about his machinations and how badly we want to get out of here. But, I have been deemed persona non grata by the government I paid into, since they refuse to give me any Social Security. (I think that this is their racket. They just hold out since statistically, anyone who reaches the age of 65 and requires SS will probably need a lot of it. Therefore, to make sure there is more for politicians to raid once they can the entire program, they know that people like me are doubtful to make it to claimant age and do whatever they can to hasten that outcome in us.) My husband makes to much for me to get a dime. He does not make much of anything in this two-tiered socioeconomic model. And, my name might as well be 'albatross' to him.

Speaking of Social Security, I have found a letter than I think the attorney who is supposedly helping me with my claim has been looking for. I did not even catch what it was. This has been months now, btw. I am slowly losing it. Yesterday, I bought some things at Wal-Mart and walked right out with only one of the bags. Did not catch this until I needed the things I had left later last night. I also find that I am forgetting to flush on occasion. Today, I forgot that I needed to do laundry. Then, around lunch, I put on some water to make some noodles, and then went to watch something on YouTube to await the water to boil and sat there for over thirty minutes while the pot of water boiled mostly away. This is not good. There is no way I can get help for this. There is no way we can afford something like Alzheimers or Parkinsons or whatever is going on. Earlier, I was sitting here in a daze looking at the 17 inches of fucking snow that we have here in the Twin Cities today. Just as I turned to look at yet another drift, a tune came on the system. "I wish there'd be snow on Christmas". I replied, "Well, you can come on up here, we did not have that problem!". I then sat here for about ten minutes laughing and crying at the same time.

Please let this end soon.

[Wicked Blue]

1. Old Buck, Yule Buck, Joulupukk, Yule Goat

This is a Scandinavian and Finnish tradition. Here's a picture of a straw Yule Buck

[OldBaldy1701E]

3. So I have read. However, it is also an Irish tradition as well. (n/t)

[Wicked Blue]

5. I didn't know that. Maybe they got it from the Vikings? nt

[OldBaldy1701E]

7. With the mishmash of traditions that ended up along the NC coast

It would not surprise me if this also came from the various sailors taking on traditions that they liked as they traveled around the globe. Then, as they wrecked along the Graveyard of the Atlantic, they shared them with the locals and whatnot. Would be a fascinating thing to look into though, eh?

[Karadeniz]

2. I'm so sorry; I wish I were there to keep you company. If you have medicare or something, you

need to start out with a thorough blood test, one ordered by an oncologist because they're almost always hematologists. My oncologist found that my red blood cells were few and what I had were too large. I'd been exhausted for years and had noticed my memory flagging. Muscles just gave out. For all I know, lack of oxygen may be responsible for some other symptoms. Also, since I have Medicare, I now qualify for an annual lung CT scan, more blood tests, a bone density test and a good talking to.

I feel depressed about all the things I can no longer do, but I know the origin isn't in my head! I wish everyone had access to the quality medical care I have!

Can you volunteer at an animal shelter, walking or shampooing dogs or socializing cats? That gives you purpose and usually puts you among nice people.

[OldBaldy1701E]

4. I have nothing and I am nothing.

Thanks for the suggestions, but doing anything 'volunteer' will just result in more bills that I cannot pay. We do not live within walking distance of anything and living up here means I only have about 90 days of actual walking ability anyway. And, I am not sitting in -20F weather for any length of time just to catch a bus. I confess that I am still not really over losing the two dogs we used to have. The second one passed about four years ago and I miss them both terribly. Unlike some, I cannot just change my feelings with a coin toss. I cannot be around cats as my hubby is allergic to them. I am dealing with issues pertaining to socialization, which is a completely laughable irony seeing as I used to be a performer. But, I cannot help that either. I wish someone could but, as a country, we are far more interested in materialization and greed than helping anyone. Oh, we have all sorts of 'aid' for show, but actual help is just too expensive for anyone not making six figures.

[Karadeniz]

6. Since Mind is comprised of soul energy as well as brain energy, a lot of what passes as mental or

emotional problems is actually rooted in spiritual crisis. You need to get another dog, because it's much more important to love rather than be loved. I learned this truth by raising stepchildren who hated me and spent their waking hours trying to set me up as the wicked stepmother to justify their maliciousness. If I hadn't had my Maltese, I'd have cratered. I could take care of him, keep him near me. He was a constant reminder that I did good; I wasn't what the stepchildren painted me to be. Find a time when your husband can drive you to an animal shelter. You need a fur baby to whom you're special and whom you can express loving feelings!