OMG, my epiphany is hitting me like a falling brick wall.

[no_hypocrisy]

Narcissistic Siblings

For five weeks (today), I have been incrementally understanding the trauma of my sister persecuting me and continues to do so.

And I accept (partially) the blame for allowing her to do this.

I didn't realize how much of my bubbling anger was due to her resentment and anger at me.

I have cut off all contact with her.

This is likely the second most courageous thing I've done in my life.

[KarenS]

1. haven't watched this yet,,,, but,,,,

I get what you're doing for yourself and why,,,, There are similar feelings and circumstances in my family,,,,

Sending ((hugs)) and strength.

[Tetrachloride]

2. I have slow realizations too.

I usually recognize the pattern and quietly depart the situation or call a friend or watch TV

[MOMFUDSKI]

3. Huge step in the right direction.

Keep going!!!

[Siwsan]

4. I had a narcissistic co-worker who tormented me for about 9 years

She was in an ongoing litigation issue with the company so the ONLY thing they could do was 'talk' to her.

The worst part was she ramped things up when I was already going through hell with my mom and sister dying and having to look after my 98 year old aunt.

I retired 3 years early to get away from her.

The company I worked for was 'absorbed' by another so any protection she had likely disappeared. I have no idea what happened to her.

I can't imagine having to go through that kind of thing from a sibling.

[alittlelark]

5. Cut off narc sis 10 yrs ago, one of the best decisions in my life

She STILL tries sh*t with family and thru flying monkeys - but it is not working very well anymore.

[LakeArenal]

6. My only living blood relative, my brother. We haven't spoken in four years.

Spent our young lives pretty much using every Indian burn, bowling ball, fish hook, boogies and wiping boogers on my.

My whole life, I was told, that’s what brothers do, you are such a victim, just ignore him.

A few years ago, I called him out. Asked people we had dinner with if their brother did such things. No no no were the answers.

When we moved to Costa Rica the last thing he said was, “You won’t last. You don’t have the fortitude.” That was it. I haven’t spoken to him since.

NOW… that I’m FINALLY over it…. People say…”Give him one more chance”.

Nope nope nope.

[OldBaldy1701E]

13. Please forgive my bluntness here.

Fuck 'one more chance'!

[LakeArenal]

14. That's what I said. Thanks OB!!

[virgdem]

7. I had that epiphany about 17 years ago...

I came to the realization that my narco brother had been verbally abusing me all my life and using me as a verbal punching bag. I finally cut him off for good after my father's funeral in 2014.

I truly understand what you are going through and you are courageous for taking control of your life and mental and emotional well-being.

[Scrivener7]

8. Dr. Ramani is AMAZING. Dealing with narcissists does take tremendous courage.

It is SO hard. But it is the only way to get the insanity out of our lives.

The cutting off contact is not the end, though. I needed to work on forgiving myself for all the wasted years and energy I spent trying to make a workable relationship with the narcissist. I think that is important to do.

I wish you peace and joy and love as you go forward with this.

This is pretty damn courageous. What was the first most courageous thing?

[no_hypocrisy]

9. Disowning my/our father.

Another narcissist.

Cruel. Made me a target.

You know the Trump statement of "If you go after me, I'll come after you?" That was my father.

[Scrivener7]

10. Yeah. For me it was my mother. I feel for you. But you go! Be happy!

[no_hypocrisy]

11. I'm exhausted for the 62 years I put up with this nonsense,

without knowing my sister was on a mission.

Having a family was an illusion.

[OldBaldy1701E]

15. Mine too! A user and manipulator all the way! (n/t)

[Tree-Hugger]

12. Sending hugs

Good on you for cutting her out of your life. I wish you a ton of healing and peace.

I'm in my 40's. My narc brother is in his 50's and has abused me for my entire life. I was always aware of it, but tried so hard to fix things, to be good enough, to make it work. Fast forward to now when both parents are dead (within a year of each other since 2020) and the abuse exploded to levels I didn't quite expect. I knew he was capable of it - I just naively thought our parents dying would make him realize that we literally only have one another. Long story short, I'm in intensive therapy and case management, having been diagnosed with PTSD. He's a very large part of that diagnosis. I've had to unpack so much shit and we're just at the tip of the iceberg - and iceberg that is way worse than I ever realized. Unpacking it all is a massive mindfuck.

I never want to see or hear from him again.

Thank you for sharing this video.