Looks like I'm going into the psych hospital

[Not Heidi]

I can't get a handle on my thoughts, can't organize them or explain to anyone what I'm feeling or why I can't participate in life like an average person.

I was hospitalized a couple of years ago, primarily to try to work out the trauma of having to take almost all of my pet cats to the humane society (we had many and were moving cross-country). I don't recall any work I did toward getting over that trauma - and it's not exorcized. So I guess I will be working on that again.

Mostly I need a safe place to let my feelings out. It's not safe here at home because they are too extreme. My sadness is impossible for anyone to understand - including myself. My depression is such that I can't understand it. I don't know how to deal with it.

All I have to do is talk to my psychiatrist and get her take. I know I could go check myself in, but I don't have the nerve for that.

[PortTack]

1. Try looking at some of Dr. Gabor Mate's work...lots of clips on YouTube

Not trying to be flip here…if you need to check in, by all means do so.

He’s truly a grounded old soul that doesn’t talk in myths or religion. He examines his own life in a way that is so relatable

Hope it helps..be well!

[NoRethugFriends]

19. TYhis person doesn't need a self-promoting quack. Don't suggest one

https://medika.life/gabor-mates-bizarre-ideas-on-connections-between-stress-and-disease/

[PortTack]

21. I'm not promoting anything! If you noticed I encouraged them to check in and to be well

This board is about helping one another. What may seem quirky to you might speak loud and clear to another

[sheshe2]

2. Take care of yourself, Not Hiedi.

Talk it out with your doctor, she will give you the help you need.

[viva la]

4. I'm glad you're getting a break from the stress

I hope you get some mental rest and Come back to us feeling strong! Hugs!

[msongs]

3. good choice if you feel it is necessary nt

[Eyeball_Kid]

5. Always be true to yourself.

If your psychiatrist wants you to do something that rubs against your values, don't do it. Too much is at stake. At the same time, remain flexible for compromise. You can do it.

[Duppers]

7. THIS ⬆⬆

[Beakybird]

6. Sending affection

It makes me sad that a quality that makes you a beautiful human being - your empathy for animals - is the same thing that makes it difficult for you to function.
I hope you can find healing through integrating your pain and not deadening it. But if a little numbness is your only way to function, so be it.
Best wishes!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[LetMyPeopleVote]

8. Take care of yourself

[Maraya1969]

9. You can manage your thoughts because you wrote like a professional

I've been in psych wards and it's almost like a vacation. Interesting people and rest and help. I wish you all the best. I am sure you will get much better after the hospital. I just want to make a point that when we get depressed our thoughts just come out negative. It is part of the disease of depression.

And I know you don't want suggestions but I would like to offer one anyway.

"Recovery International" - A self help organization that was tremendous for me. They have a website and FB. Her is a sample of the "spottings"

Some RI Spots
Sample Recovery International Tools

Treat mental health as a business and not as a game.
Humor is our best friend, temper is our worst enemy.
If you can’t change a situation, you can change your attitude towards it.
Be self-led, not symptom-led.
Nervous symptoms and sensations are distressing but not dangerous.
Temper is, among other things, blindness to the other side of the story.
Comfort is a want, not a need.

[mopinko]

18. wise words.

[hunter]

22. I'd take a pass on those vacations but I have come out the other side better than when I went in...

... as a danger to myself or others. Mostly as a danger to myself.

It seems as soon as I begin to notice the "interesting people" that's when they send me home. Therapy groups have ended that way as well.

I am a most fortunate human, I've got meds that work (more or less) and a social safety net. That's not always been the case.

[eggplant]

10. I wish you all the support you need.

I hope you can find a path forward.

[vercetti2021]

11. Please take care of yourself

I was there in a hospital at the beginning of the year. When I left I felt it was the best method to finally kick my demons in the ass. We are here for you

[ShazzieB]

12. I wish you peace and healing!

I have dealt with major depression and anxiety at least since I was a teenager and probably earlier (but not formally diagnosed or treated until I was in my late 30s). It's been a long road, but I can attest to the difference that good quality therapy and the right medication can make. Because of my personal experience, I'm a big fan of both.

You seem to have the right ideas - talking to your psychiatrist, possibly checking into a psych ward, working though unfinished issues from your past. That means you're already moving in the right direction, which makes me extremely hopeful for you. So many people in need of this kind of help fight against it, instead of welcoming it. That means you're already ahead of the game, and I'm really proud of you for that.

Talk to your psychiatrist and take it from there. And please know that no matter how bad things may seem at the moment, they CAN get better, probably a lot better than you can imagine right now. Your job is just to accept the care and do the work, and it sounds like you're ready to do both!

[irisblue]

13. Holding you in my thoughts.

[tandgf]

14. I wish you well in getting the help you seek

The work that helped me the most was in reading and taking the action as requested in the Big Book of AA - I also studied and did the work as offered by John Bradshaw in his first 3 books he ever wrote - The combination of these two thoughts and rigorous honesty along with time were the variables that saved my life - I will be forever grateful I was allowed to live - I wish you well - Good luck to you

[brer cat]

15. You do need a safe place, and to be around people who do understand

your feelings. Your psychiatrist should be able to help you decide what is best.

[Maraya1969]

16. I bought one of these. They are great

because you don't have to open or unzip to use your phone. And it has a couple little compartments to hold credit cards, makeup, tissues etc.


https://tinyurl.com/4ykzauu3

[marble falls]

17. We all need a refuge when it get too heavy to handle. This is your time to heal and strengthen ...

... This is your time to save yourself.

I still ache for the cats we had to leave in Nebraska and we found them all homes. 23 years ago. I can only imagine what you are going through.

The way I've worked through it is to take care of a colony of ferals here in Texas.

It just isn't easy, but we have to work through it in our own way.

[yardwork]

20. I'm sorry you're going through this.

[debm55]

23. Sorry Not Heidi. I hoped after your treatment you would be better. Whatever the decision I stand

with you my friend. Love, Debbie.

[Scrivener7]

24. How are you doing now? I hope you're better.

[mvd]

25. Just take care of yourself

We will be here for you and will have you in our thoughts. You have been so good to me and other DUers. Hope things are better now.

[Not Heidi]

26. HEY, EVERYONE!!

Please forgive me if I don't reply to you individually. I haven't got the energy right now; perhaps I can find enough beginning tomorrow for a few replies per day. I hope so.

Meantime, I'll brief you all:

I was denied admission to the psych hospital due to an insurance problem. I was tempted to say eff it, but the need for help was so strong in me that I had to act. I got in touch with a PHP* I attended after discharge from the hospital two years ago, and they gladly welcomed me back. I've been there since August 22, going four days per week (with Wednesdays off; I hate the off days).

The Program's psychiatrist is a damn sight better than my own. I've already begun to feel/see changes from the meds he prescribed for me. So have others.

Please forgive me if I don't make it back to DU real quickly. Then again, tomorrow is Wednesday, so I may get here.

Thank you all for your support, love, ideas, suggestions, good wishes, and everything else you offered. The mental health community is extraordinary.

* Partial hospitalization program