I am having a really bad day

[BlueKota]

First of all I decided I can't go without therapy, but I no longer feel comfortable telling the people at the mental health clinic I have been going to that. I feel like they made it clear they think I should move on. I have been trying to find a new clinic but most have waiting lists and I also don't want to mess up getting my medications in the meantime.

I was already upset about that, made a dumb suggestion that a lot of people jumped on me here for. Then my sister's jerk friend drives his stupid boat into the garage wall, and it goes through to the basement wall. They're not coming until tomorrow to fix it. I hope nothing goes wrong in the meantime because of it.

I really don't want him storing it here but I can't say anything because she owns the house and helps me pay the bills, because I am on disability, and it's not enough to cover everything. We coinherited it from my parents, but I signed my part over because I didn't want to risk both of us losing the house in case I have a serious enough breakdown that requires lengthy hospitalization. But I am seriously upset, pissed and scared, and feeling like on one hand I am being ungrateful but on the other hand like I am being dismissed like my feelings don't count, and now I don't even have a therapist to vent to.

[XanaDUer2]

1. I'm so sorry all this is happening nt

[BlueKota]

2. Thank you!

💙

[Dear_Prudence]

3. Rough.

My heart goes out to you.

[BlueKota]

5. Thank you!

At least a friend and his son who live down the road, came up and checked that the fumes I smelled were light and nothing to be seriously concerned about. My late father was Jack's boss in the city vehicle repair shop and knows a lot about mechanics and even house repairs. He says he knows I am upset but that everything should be ok until the repairs can be made, and there shouldn't be any difficulties im making the repairs. He's been like a big brother to me for many years and it helped reassure me a bit.

[madaboutharry]

4. It is so understandable that you want to find a place to have therapy.

It seems like you feel no one is listening to you. I am so sorry to read your story here.

I hope that you find the help and someone who you can talk with soon.

[BlueKota]

6. Thank you!

I found out where the Psychiatrist who helped me the most is now working, and I am going to write her a letter asking for suggestions. The receptionist I talked to when I called the office where she works, said the Dr. only accepts walk in clients on Tuesday mornings so I wasn't able to speak with her directly, and I wouldn't be able to get there easily since I'd have to find a ride, and I wouldn't even be guaranteed of an appointment.

She even left a letter when she transferred to her new job that it was her recommendation that I should not be dismissed from treatment given how quickly and deeply I have sunk into severe depressive episodes requiring several weeks of hospitalization, and even ect treatment in the past. Guess they didn't listen to her either.

[madaboutharry]

7. I hope you can find a way to see her.

[BlueKota]

8. Thank you!