This message was self-deleted by its author

[LiberalLoner]

This message was self-deleted by its author (LiberalLoner) on Thu Dec 14, 2023, 01:41 PM. When the original post in a discussion thread is self-deleted, the entire discussion thread is automatically locked so new replies cannot be posted.

[onecaliberal]

1. We very much need you here.

I’m so sorry these people were so horrible. So many here that truly care.

[LiberalLoner]

3. Thank you so much. Having a hard time feeling safe at this point.

[onecaliberal]

8. Understandable.

Do all you can to make yourself feel as safe as you can. Being here and talking about it is very good.

[LiberalLoner]

10. Thank you. It's scary but I need to let it out.

[onecaliberal]

12. Absolutely. You need to be heard and you deserve to be heard.

[femmedem]

2. Oh no, dear Liberal Loner. What awful knowledge.

What awful people they are.

Please, please know: They are awful. Not you. Them. The only thing this says about you is that you are incredibly strong to have resisted that pressure and to have survived.

[LiberalLoner]

4. Thank you. I wrote them all and said, I am sorry for making all of you hate me this badly. I asked the trolls

Over and over again why they were doing this to me. Never got an answer.

I stopped posting on any social media and don’t post here much anymore either. I’ve had his trolls DM me even here to let me know I am being watched, and it’s overwhelming.

[LiberalLoner]

5. They have also done things like ask me for my artwork, and when I send it, ghost me and they don't

Bother to tell me they received it…stop talking to me after I send art that took me hours to create. For free.

Thats happened to me a few times, and I no longer feel safe posting my art anywhere because of that.

It’s a small, petty thing, but it’s a good example of the kind of trolling that has been done to me.

Why? Dunno, they won’t tell me why.

The only conclusion I can come to is, they all hate me, family of origin included, and want me dead.

[LiberalLoner]

6. And then I have this cancer thing going on at the same time. It just feels like a LOT right now.

[femmedem]

19. It is a lot. Either one would be a lot for anyone, let alone both at once.

And I hate that this is causing you to feel unsafe sharing your beautiful artwork on DU.

[LiberalLoner]

23. Thank you.

[Walleye]

17. Sounds like they could be jealous of your talent

[LiberalLoner]

24. I highly doubt that, but thanks.

[rainy]

7. It sounds like one of those family members has a cluster b personality disorder!

When I found out after much abuse that my sister has BPD it saved my life because I had an explanation for all the hatred and effort to turn my family against me. Those “follow the leader” people are called flying monkeys. Walk away and don’t look back then get therapy!!!

[LiberalLoner]

9. Thank you so much! Not a therapist myself but have strongly suspected malignant narcissism,

And believe me, Trump is hugely triggering to me. The one person I know to be the ringleader in my family is absolutely NPD, malignant narcissist, and her grown kids are absolutely her flying monkeys. The rest of the family seems to be on her side as well. Which is almost understandable because I got away from my family of origin early and stayed very much at arms length, while she stayed living in the area and heavily involved.

I’ve had periods of time, years, I have gone no contact but guilt pulls me back in. Time to go no contact again and stay that way this time.

All while I am in the middle of treatment for breast cancer.

I’m barely hanging on right now.

[LiberalLoner]

11. One of the good things about being in the middle of cancer treatment is, I might just be able

To get insurance to pay for some therapy sessions for me. It would be nice.

Going no contact with all of them is a start, of course, but it’s also a painful step. Can’t help but feel sad and angry about all of it. Those are the feelings I am wrestling with now.

[Quakerfriend]

16. So very sorry you are dealing with all of this

right now LL.

They are just weak & cowardly.
Somehow cowards always direct their cruelty toward those who are most caring and kind.
You should cut off ties, at least until you feel stronger and are well again. I know this must be very painful for you.

I had breast cancer & it looked quite bleak for awhile but, I survived- and that was 25 years ago.
I felt very emotionally fragile at the time.

Please, push all of their negativity aside and go forward with only love in your heart & love for yourself. You are a DUer and we are all here for you!!

Try to stay strong & please, keep us posted as to how you are doing. ❣️

[LiberalLoner]

25. Thank you so much. I'm sorry you had breast cancer too.

I hope you never get a recurrence.

Yeah, I will have to go no contact with all of them, there is really no other option for me at this point.

Thank you.

[rainy]

13. I wish you the very best outcome with cancer.

I read so many books and joined forums on BPD and that saved me. Once I went no contact with my sibling I made new friends and I grew more confident and started having fun. As if an anchor was cut from my body I rose to the top. Happier but it took over three years after the discard and hatred to get to a good place. Her own son told me he left her when he was in elementary school because “she is toxic”. Walk away, read The Places that Scare You by Pema.

I’ve found that Pema Chodron’s books bring me much peace of mind and heart right now. The Buddhist philosophy is comforting

[LiberalLoner]

14. Thank you so very much! I'm glad you got to a good place after all that harm you went through...

Feels like a war being waged against you, situations like that.

Right now I’m just hiding in a cave, except for this post because I really needed to vent.

But I plan on living in a cave for quite awhile. Just wanting to feel safe.

I will read Pemba Chodron’s books, thank you for the recommendation and thank you for wishing me well in my cancer journey!

[LiberalLoner]

15. Just purchased this on Kindle. Really hoping it gives me something to hold on to.

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

[Walleye]

18. Please come here and vent anytime makes you feel better. That's what we are here for

[hunter]

20. Are you in a physically safe space, away from your tormentors?

I hope this is a safe place.

[LiberalLoner]

22. Yes. But even DU is not safe for me, my tormentors are here.

[flying rabbit]

21. ...