Money-obsessed half sister creeping me out

[XanaDUer2]

I finally checked her FB page ( I know, I know) out of curiosity after a month of no contact. She's still steaming, I'm assuming, about me not co signing a huge loan. Meme about family will travel far to bury you, but not cross the street to "help" you .

Well, I'm not traveling far to bury her, either. Her adult daughter will have to handle that. Scary to think a relative views you as a source of huge amounts of money. I hope there's not some bogus life insurance policy out on me.

Totally disgusted at this point. She's a financial disaster, btw.

[marble falls]

1. Shake that sand from your sandal. Take that pebble out of your shoe!

[XanaDUer2]

2. I told my BF if I'm killed in an accident

Or cancer or something make sure that crazy beyotch doesn't have some policy out on me. Shes surrounded by sketchy incidents.

Shoplifting, slip-and-falls, car destroyed by fire...

[marble falls]

3. Get a letter to your lawyer!

[XanaDUer2]

4. She's no stranger to violence

I think the plan was move me in and start bullying me into handing over money.

We didn't grow up together. Found each other as adults. Thought it was great to have a sister. I overshared some personal problems and its been nothing but criticism, haranguing, aggression, making me feel like I had to explain my every move. She was attempting to micro manage my medical/dental care. Like, more money for her

Christ

[FuzzyRabbit]

5. Fair warning: My sister co-signed a large loan for a family member.

The family member decided to stop paying the loan payments. So my sister has to pay the monthly payments to keep her home and credit rating safe.

[XanaDUer2]

6. Way ahead of you

No way would a cosign a high-intetest loan for an adult niece who "doesnt like loans" gtfo. I'm not even close to my niece

[spooky3]

7. Tell her Judge Judy says never to co-sign.

Sorry you’re having to deal with this.

[XanaDUer2]

14. Thank you

I wouldn't sign a 20- Dollar loan with her bankrupt ass

[Midnight Writer]

10. Good. I used to be a loan officer for a credit union.

You wouldn't believe how many people blithely co-sign for a loan and then are shocked that they are on the hook after the beneficiary stops making payments.

I always shudder inside when I hear someone is thinking about co-signing for a loan.

I am glad you are not even considering it.

[XanaDUer2]

11. My niece is a spoiled 25 yr old brat

In a sicko codependent hate love relationship with my sister ( they scream hit and curse each other) and I know she's gonna hang me out to dry like i know the sun will rise fuck them both

[multigraincracker]

8. If she ever ask for anything again,

just say you’ll have to ask your lawyer first. Then ignore her.
I’m so lucky, only one relative.

[XanaDUer2]

9. I'm no contact

The last straw was a rude email about me treating my tmj cheaply. Way too interested in my money

[multigraincracker]

12. I would speak to a good lawyer.

Sounds like you aren’t too far away from needing a Protection Order. Also a firmly worded letter from an attorney now might help. I call them a “nasty gram” and they have worked for me. I’m sure she can’t afford one now, it could scare her enough to stay away.
Really wishing you the best.

[XanaDUer2]

13. Ty so much

Shes not contacting me, either. Even tho I was awaiting the results of a medical test I was worried about and she dismissed my worries, as usual. I mean, I have GAD, so it probably wasnt great listening to me either. But she started causing me more anxiety and distress and I was getting angrier.

I hold in my anger.

[Demobrat]

15. People need co-signers because they don't have good credit.

They don’t have good credit because they don’t pay their bills.

[XanaDUer2]

18. She claims she just declared. Bankruptcy

Claims her car was re-poed. Claims HOA is suing her. Has 2 judgements against her in another state. Claims she's not paying home taxes and has no insurance. As you can see, theres NO WAY im getting involved with her financially.

PS her credit is shit from all sorts of things.

Wanted us to open up air bnb together. Sure. Had plans for us opening businesses together or a halfway house. I'm not doing any of this. I just blew her nicely off but didn't say no. Because i have a hard time setting boundaries

[Demobrat]

19. Wow. And yet, you are somehow supposed to believe

that she will make the payments on the loan you co-sign. How - insulting.
I used to have trouble setting boundaries. Then (with the help of seven years of therapy) I tried it. It’s addicting. Now I can’t stop.

[OldBaldy1701E]

22. Well, My issue is not that I did not pay bills.

My issue is that I have never had credit in my life. Ever. So, as far as they are concerned, I am just not a good investment for credit, as I don't like it and therefore won't put myself in massive debt over it like some do. There is little money to be made by the credit companies if one does not overextend oneself. The last time a bank offered me a credit card, they offered me a $300 limit. At the time, I was making $1100/wk. I just laughed. Nowadays, I have nothing and I am nothing. They still float card offers at me but now it is funny because I have no way to pay them back for any credit. Besides, they give credit to people who I consider a very bad investment all the time, yet I get the 'kiddie card' because I don't run out and over-buy my life all the time? No thanks, even if I could pay it back these days.

[Demobrat]

23. Having a credit card doesn't mean you have to overspend.

I use mine to buy groceries and day-to-day necessities. I NEVER spend more than I have in my pocket. I pay it off every week, sometimes more often. As soon as a charge is made, it's paid off. It's a cash back card, so the bank pays me to use it. My credit is outstanding.
Credit cards can be useful tools that work to your benefit. When people get into trouble it's by using them to spend money they don't have. Use them to spend money you DO have, and they are safer than cash.

[OldBaldy1701E]

24. They want you to spend money you don't have.

Umm... isn't spending money one does not have the essence of the definition of 'credit'? Otherwise, why would you need it?

[Demobrat]

29. They are safer than carrying cash.

If a card is lost or stolen and charges are made that are not yours you are not responsible. If cash is lost or stolen it’s just gone. I live in a big city. I don’t like to carry cash. Crime happens.

If you use them properly you can end up ahead financially because of the rewards programs.

They help you build credit, if you care about that. Good credit means lower rates on car loans and mortgages. That’s real money.

There is nothing inherently wrong with credit cards. People get into trouble when they treat credit cards like free money. They aren’t.

They do have their place, though.

[limbicnuminousity]

16. Not fun.

Did checking her FB page set your mind at ease?

I have to agree with multigraincracker in terms of a protective order. If it isn't already time, it's close. FWIW.

The only downside is you burn a bridge. But this doesn't sound like a bridge you care to maintain.

[XanaDUer2]

17. No. It irritated me

I'm assuming she's referring to not getting money. And I resent her feeling like i should put myself in potential large debt over her or her stupid kid. First 20k loan co sign. God knows what else. I also think she has more money than she's letting on and is a con artist.

Made me sad when I realized she had ulterior motives for me after me thinking she cared about me. Its conditional.

[Demobrat]

20. It's hard when people walk away

when they realize they can’t use you for anything. Not as hard as having them in your life, though.

[XanaDUer2]

21. True

I can be as bitchy. I posted that I'm done explaining and justifying myself to losers. Block me at this point

[OldBaldy1701E]

25. "Scary to think a relative views you as a source of huge amounts of money."

I have known families that, to a member, were only interested in said family because of money. To say the family was toxic is an understatement. And yet, they were rather well off. I guess being human is no barrier to making money. Too bad that this cannot be corrected as it sure needs to be.

[bucolic_frolic]

26. Establish boundaries, know the laws and rules, and stick to them

Protect yourself. Sounds like you're doing fine.

[Joinfortmill]

27. I hear you.

If family "borrows" from you, don't expect it back. And only give, oops, lend what you can afford to lose.

[XanaDUer2]

28. Who expects a 58 yr old

Disabled person to co sign a huge loan? Who? And I sent her checks over $400 awhile ago because she claimed she didn't have phone or food money. She claims she asked her working daughter for grocery money, who responded money only flows from parent to child, not reversed. No clue if that really happened, but I could see it.
Eta that money's gone