Something weird I've noticed about trying to 'control' my anxiety with distractions

[Siwsan]

When it hits during the day, I'll start working on something, go for a walk or interact with my kidcats. It helps.

BUT when I'm asleep, all of that deferred anxiety seems to come roaring back in the form of bad/weird dreams or flat out nightmares. The ONLY way to avoid that is if I take a 'chill pill' (Ativan) just before I try to fall asleep. Sometimes I can go two or three nights without disturbing dreams, without taking the medication. Sometimes not, depending on what's going on.

Most of the dreams are about my old work situation, which was extremely toxic. Some are about being in danger from unknown people. Most involve me being unable to get away, in that my legs are just too weak, and if I scream for help, nobody hears me. Then there are the ones where I can't find my car, my keys or my purse and I'm stranded. More than once I've awakened during one of these dreams but plummet right back in to it when I fall back to sleep.

Sometimes I wake up more tired than when I went to bed! Occasionally I'll wake up to see my kidcats surrounding me, looking concerned. I wonder if my brain shut off the sleep paralysis mechanism too early and maybe I was flailing around.

I guess there is just no escaping my demons.

[cilla4progress]

1. I feel you.

I listen to gentle podcasts and some of the sound healing music that's out there on my music app, Calm, to help get back to sleep.

❤️

[niyad]

2. I wish I had some sure-fire advice for you. One thing that came to mind is

giving lucid dreaming a try. I can sometimes work with this to some effect.

[Siwsan]

7. I used to have what I think were lucid dreams

I'd get out of bed to get ready for work but when I'd go to turn on the bathroom light, my hand would slide right through the switch. After a few more tries I'd think, heck, I'm still asleep and in the dream I'd go back to bed and pretty much just reabsorb into my body. In a few dreams, when things would get dicey, I'd tell myself that I was only dreaming so everything is OK.

I also used to wake up WHILE my body was still in a state of sleep paralysis. I'd try and try and try to move but nothing would happen. Then I'd feel a horrible pressure, like I was being pressed into the mattress. That is horrifying. Sometimes it would take me two or three tries to actually coordinate my brain with the rest of my body.

[BlueKota]

3. Sorry to hear about the bad dreams

While my anxiety doesn't often follow me into my dreams, it often makes me have trouble falling asleep because I can't switch my mind off. This podcast has really helped me.https://www.nothingmuchhappens.com/ The lady who writes and records the stories gives a really good explanation of why it works, and seems like a genuinely caring person. I don't know if it will help with the dreams but you might want to try it.

[Siwsan]

4. I'll check that out. Thanks!

[RandomNumbers]

5. I have similar at times, but not as serious

What I have found that helps, is

1 - I have a relaxing music station on Pandora that I fall asleep to

2 - I keep a relatively boring Teaching Company course (usually history or philosophy) in the CD player, and start that if I wake up in the middle of the night and don't go right back to sleep. You have no idea how effective philosophy can be at putting one to sleep, until you've tried it!! Thanks to a well-stocked local library, I can rotate out the specific sleep-inducing courses frequently enough.

[nilram]

8. Mark Twain's The Innocents Abroad would put me to sleep.

I've never finished it. Though I do like it (and have stayed away while reading other Twain). I should pull it out again.

A bonus being that novels, classes, music, all give the brain fodder for something else to dream about.

[2naSalit]

6. I used to have those...

Sometimes rather often. I haven't dealt with any for a while now. Several years ago I started leaving classical music on the radio at a low volume and I stopped having those episodes almost entirely. Now, I always have it on at night, I don't hear the neighbors very much either.