This is what can happen when you accede/capitulate to someone

[no_hypocrisy]

who doesn't know what he's doing.

Dateline: 1975. Our family had a small house on the Great Peconic Bay in Southampton. (Not the kind of Hamptons you imagine). The prior owners of the house left behind a wooden Penguin sailboat.

My father was classic Dunning Kruger. Because he was a doctor, that meant he knew everything without learning first.

And he knew nothing about how to sail. But that didn't stop him.

One summer day, he didn't invite me. He ordered me to go sailing with him. And I refused. Because my main consideration was my safety and Dad couldn't guarantee that. And hypocritical after all the lectures he gave me about never riding on motorcycles and getting into a car with drunk friends. I was 18 and I knew better.

Reiteration: he ORDERED me to get into the sailboat. Like he was getting angry with me. Reluctantly, I climbed in, with one of those orange life jackets.

Dad put up the sail and we headed towards Mattituck. Except after about 1,000 yards, the wind caught the sail and the boat leaned to the right. I'm no sailor, but I'm pretty sure that Dad made a huge mistake in stepping to the right instead of the left. Water poured in; we were capsizing. I wasn't panicking. I was thinking, "This figures . . . . "

Dad had a bad-looking deep scratch on his torso, which was profusely bleeding. I actually asked him if it was all right if I got out of the boat. Yes, I really did. I was bobbing on the surface of the water like a cork. In the middle of the bay. I was thinking, "It must suck to be right all the time."

Fortunately, Mom saw what happened from the house and dispatched a neighbor with a motorboat to fetch us back to shore.

I didn't follow Dad blindly into a bad situation; my sister would have done that. I did argue beforehand. But you need to know that our father was an authoritarian and made our lives miserable when you crossed him. I've discussed him before on this Board.

I risked injury, or worse, going along with orders that shouldn't have been followed.

I think of this vignette these days with TSF. He's dangerous. I don't intend to repeat my mistake in 1975.

[marble falls]

1. 14, standing on the end of a foot plank of a scaffold buck, about five feet off the ground, ...

... my dad said move over so I stepped off the plank,
"Why in the hell did you do that?"
"You told me to."

We both got a lesson.

[no_hypocrisy]

2. Exactly. Except my father remained oblivious.

[marble falls]

3. I didn't say my dad's lesson took. Cause it didn't ...

My step dad was an important person in my life. Due to hurt feelings I went to live with my father, a mean alcoholic and my step-mother (a true saint). Thank G*D my step-dad had me in my early years. Those values are what save me.

[LiberalLoner]

4. I'm glad you survived that childhood. I'm sorry you had to endure it. And I'm sorry for how awful it must feel to be

Back under authoritarian insanity.

I understand because I grew up the same way.

I’d say the closest I got to life threatening though was when he would drive drunk. Once he passed out at the wheel and we were heading at a concrete wall at 80 MPH. My stepmother jerked the wheel and saved us.

I let out an audible gasp during the whole thing because I thought I was going to die. My father woke up and yelled at me to shut up.

He would tell the story later to others as a funny story. Just like he would tell the funny story of his wife he gave two black eyes to.

He didn’t tell the story of how he superglued a Yorkshire terrier’s lips together as “punishment” because I guess even he realized most people would not approve of that.

[DENVERPOPS]

6. Sadly

There are so many adults out there who are permanently scarred from childhood experiences by an adult...

Some suffered emotional abuse, some physical abuse, and some all three.........

[LiberalLoner]

7. And all of them are very much triggered now, I think. 😭

All of US I should say.

[sop]

5. Famous last words: "Here, hold my beer..."

I "built" my own sailboat when I was ten-years-old using assorted junk and wood scraps I dragged home behind my bike. My (poor sainted) mother, who always encouraged my stupid projects, helped me get the "boat" into the back of her station wagon, then drove me to the marina where we launched it. It started taking on water almost immediately, and quickly sank to the bottom. At least no one was injured.

[Mr.WeRP]

8. The US is already in the boat with Trump and we are too far out to sea for rescue