Your Life is Your Own

[no_hypocrisy]

Not your family's. Not your spouse's or SO's. Not your employment.

Yes, you may well be accused of being subversive, disruptive, hostile, difficult, antisocial, selfish. But you will be autonomous, independent, calling your own shots. You are not a victim. You are a survivor. You are empathetic and humane.

And you also may be confronted and fought at every turn. And that's inconvenient, but fine.

It's all so worth it.

[Walleye]

1. Yep somehow I'm in charge of my own life. Maybe there was a mixup somewhere or something

[no_hypocrisy]

2. I'd rather make a mistake on my own terms and own it.

I fought against being directed by a family with poor judgment.

[Walleye]

3. Yes, it is much easier to live with the consequences of your own decisions than some that you feel you w

Were forced into. This is really the principal behind democracy, I think. If we all feel, we had a part in making the decision will be much more likely to live with a peacefully and try and make it work. Unfortunately, elections are not used to determine the will of the people anymore.

[multigraincracker]

4. I have no control over the cards I'm dealt.

My only control is how I play them.

[LiberalLoner]

5. 💙💙💙👏👏👏 I needed to hear that message today

Just went no contact with the rest of my extended family…cousins…who had participated in a cyberbullying operation against me WHILE i was in the middle of treatment for cancer, because none of them had one drop of empathy for me whatsoever.

My husband says my family is clearly toxic and very dysfunctional so I shouldn’t be sad or hurt, I should just feel happy and proud of myself from escaping them.

I feel like a fool for not having seen earlier, what they were all doing to me. I let the harm go on far too long.

At least I am free now…something none of them ever expected.

And they have lost their favorite punching bag…me.

Their lives, already not very good due to alcoholism, prison, repayments to people they stole from, poverty, etc. etc. are about to get far worse, too, due to Trump policies.

[no_hypocrisy]

6. Walk away in peace.

Don’t look behind you.

[OldBaldy1701E]

7. I sit here as one who followed that idea my entire life.

And, I have nothing. I am nothing. I have one thing to look forward to these days and it hasn't happened yet.

I also learned that my life is not entirely my own. Otherwise, some things that had a profound effect on my life would not have even registered.

So, I am not so sure it is worth it, although I agree with the idea that your life is your own. Maybe one day we as a society can actually live that philosophy.

[no_hypocrisy]

8. Depends how you look at it.

I have fought all my life from father, mother, sister, teachers, principals, employers, et al to maintain my autonomy and my integrity. Others have demanded that I fit their mold(s) and I could not acquiesce as their judgments were not as sound as my own. And I have paid the price with threats, penalties, punishments, harassments, and much more.

But I have found my value in fighting them every time. I have looked back and I'm satisfied with my choices (so far).

To me, having the choices made by only myself, it makes all worthwhile.

[OldBaldy1701E]

9. But, isn't that the question?

Were they really only made by yourself? There were no influences, no pressures, no single directions or perish? No third or fourth removed tweaking that basically only allowed you certain options as opposed to many?

If so, you had a blessed life. There were too many times when circumstances and influences either restricted or removed choices in my life.

[no_hypocrisy]

10. They were made ultimately by myself.

I could have taken the easy route and allowed, say, my father to make me into his Gallatea, the perfect daughter. He did the same thing to my sister, and she succumbed to the point of ridiculously asking to him to find her a husband as she failed on her own initiative. (Fortunately, my BIL came into the picture before disaster occurred.) The pressure I endured was incredible. But I prevailed.

I avoided becoming a "People Pleaser" and I own my life.