I kind of feel like I did when I was in 2nd grade
The nun was telling me my desk was still messy looking no matter how hard I tried to make it look neater. She kept pulling my books out and throwing them on the floor. Then she spanked me. I ran and tried to hide behind a rolling flip board.
One of my friends came over and asked me what I was doing. I told her I was trying to figure out how I could run away to my Aunt Kay's house because she didn't make her kids go to Catholic school, so if she let me come to live with her I wouldn't have to either. My friend was worried for me so she went and told the other nicer second grade teacher, who told me I could stay in her classroom until the Sister calmed down.
Right now I wish I could run away from this country. I don't feel safe here anymore and feel at the mercy of people who have no mercy just like many of the teachers at that school didn't.
Only now there is no Aunt Kay and no where to run because because I don't qualify for Irish citizenship and have no way to leave anyway.
Unless someone has lived under abusive authoritarianism you have no understanding how pervasive and lasting the fear, lack of self esteem, and emotional damage is. Nor how much fear there is that you will once again be made to feel useless and powerless.
= new reply since forum marked as read
I know I had a PTSD flair earlier this week and it was related to this environment we are now living in.
Including me.
If I wasn't broke, I'd probably move to the UK. I can theoretically qualify for citizenship there. (My father was born there. His family emigrated to the US when he was 2 years old, and he didn't become a naturalized US citizen until he was almost 60.) But i just don't have the wherewithal to make a trans Atlantic move. 
