The Blessing of "Aloneness" ...

[FirstLight]

I don't think I have ever lived truly alone before. I went from living in my parents' house, to living with my first husband, my sister, then having a baby, and on and on... My kids grew up a couple years ago, but then I had that crazy beyotch in my house. LOL

So I am actually discovering my own tides and needs. How I really *do* like no noise in the house. No TV in the bacikground, and often no music unless I am working on someth8ing that needs ADHD focus. Otherwise, just listening to my own breathing and the birds outside is music...
Nobody opening doors or making mme jump by slamming stuff around or cursing and making the air feel toxic.

I can drum when I get up, and before bed. I can take a bath with the door open and candles burning. I can eat whenever and whatever I want. I can listen to my SELF in a way I have never had the joy or freedom to do.

This is not lonliness, far from it. It's loving my aloneness, and being WITH and IN myself.
I'm so fucking grateful for this time in my life...

[dweller]

1. Oh you are gonna fit right in

https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=forum&id=1237



✌🏻

[FirstLight]

3. perfect!! ;)

It's definitely a vibe all its own

[cyclonefence]

2. Solitude is a blessing for many of us

including me. When my husband retired, he was *always* in the house (his dream) and I was *never* alone. I finally told him that I needed to be alone for a good chunk of time at least a couple of days a week, so he started playing bridge (golf would've been better; I understand that can take the entire day).

Know that I'm with you on this. There's nothing wrong with us; it's just how we're wired.

[FirstLight]

4. I realize I used to spend HOURS in the forest alone as a child!!! It's always been my happy place

Was lucky enough to have land up in the Redwoods of No Cal and after helping clear breakfast, I'd throw some snacks in a bag and wander off to "my tree"... I'd sit out there for hours just listening to the sounds of the forest, rain or shine. See deer come right past me. I used to sometimes sing at the top of my lungs cuz I thought I was snow white LMAO

It's awesome to rediscover this again, not ust in moments but in a whole walk of life... I can go a whole day or more without interacting with another human, and it suits me fine

[cyclonefence]

6. Oh the memories you have evoked!

I was a tree-climber. I could sit up there, silent, not really watching the world go by, just sitting and thinking.

Closer to the ground, I built fairy houses out of twigs I wedged between low branches of trees.

How lucky are kids who have access to trees and being left alone!

Edited to add: Most mornings (except for when I was at school) neither of my parents had any idea of where I was or what I was doing. I got up earlier than anyone else (my father's job hours ended late at night, so my parents slept late), fixed myself a hard-boiled egg in this little aluminum gadget we had, and took off in the wee hours, exploring. I climbed trees, investigated old dog-hole coal mines up the hill (dangerous as hell, I'm sure) saw a lot of snakes groggy because it was too cold for them early in the morning. I followed people who were called "gypsies" who dragged big cloth bags behind them and went through people's garbage--I bet no one else in our neighborhood even knew they existed!

When I was older, I roamed alone at night. One magic night, I stopped outside a house where a barbershop quartet was practicing!

[FirstLight]

8. Night roaming...lol

Up at the ranch in the country, it was so bright when the moon was out that you didn't need a flashlight. And so it was always a big deal for my dad to take me (and sometimes my sister but usually she didn't want to go), and we'd go and walk up to the ranger station on the dirt road in the moonlight without flashlights... such an adventure!

I was never scared in the woods at night. I was more scared living in the city than anything...

[cyclonefence]

9. Wonderful--we were fortunate kids n/t

[Karadeniz]

5. Yay....well said !!!!!

[OldBaldy1701E]

7. I am glad for you.

I am the opposite. I am alone. It is not by choice. My husband is amazing but he is one person and should not be forced to always be with me. I just cannot figure out how to make a friend in this area. It truly sucks.

[cyclonefence]

10. I can't imagine what that must feel like

but I am sorry for your situation. As long as you don't come to my house, I'll be your friend.

Nothing personal, you understand.

[OldBaldy1701E]

11. Of course I understand.

Unfortunately, I am just too old school to find an 'electronic' relationship fulfilling. I appreciate the offer, though.

You enjoy your aloneness. As someone who has not had much of it before, you deserve to revel in it.