So, I was driving through the ice storm at 5 am this morning, crying to a Rihanna song.

[Denninmi]

"Find light in the beautiful sea
I choose to be happy"

- Diamonds, Rihanna

Because I realized that happines IS a choice, and I've spent far too much of my life either literally being denied that choice, or denying it to myself for stupid reasons, fear, inhibitions, self-loathing.

So, guess what I did -- I ran my ten laps then shot some baskets before my fitness group.

I chose to be happy. Because I owe it to myself.

And it was awesome!

[annabanana]

1. Yay!

What a great way to start a day!

[Denninmi]

2. Well, the crying on icy roads was a little dubious.

After that it got significantly better.

[elleng]

3. Damn right you owe it to yourself, Den!

Maybe I'll try, but need lessons from you.

[mopinko]

4. crying is the best therapy.

but i don't really think happiness is a choice. the corollary to this is that depression is a choice, and that is just flat out not true.

positive attitude is fine as long as it doesn't lead to self punishment when it doesn't go that way.

[Denninmi]

5. That's been the theme my therapist has been pushing for a couple of weeks.

That I am making myself miserable, and I can choose to go the other way.

I agree with you about depression and other MI not being a choice, it's as bad as saying you have a choice whether or not to have cancer. I certainly never chose this. But I guess at this point, I can make the best of it or let it consume me. Not a hard choice in my mind.

What I think she is saying is that I can wallow in it, or I can do the things that make me feel good about myself. Which is something I really need to do, and she is encouraging me to do.

And so far, it really does work for me.

[tama]

6. Makes you think

And what I thought is that yes, we can change ourselves, but change can happen only by accepting how we are. Something to do with subconscious knowing "better" and conscious thoughts resisting, until also they accept and "choose".