I'm 31 and don't know what to do for a career...

[Locut0s]

I've just posted that I'm feeling a bit better emotionally which is true but when I feel better I start to mull over my life situation, which I need to do I believe. Right now I'm 1/2 way through an IT diploma at a university and if I have to be 100% honest with myself I have no fucking clue if I should be doing this. I went into this in some ways at the insistence of my parents who were worried that I had to get my life going and have some type of career that paid well enough. Retail jobs and failure after failure at university (due to emotional issues) wasn't going to cut it and my parents can't look after me anymore, nor should they. I didn't object too much at the time because, well, I've never known really what to do with myself and at the time I was too depressed to think straight. In the past I've always said my passion is science. Physics and Math particularly. Science still is but again if I'm going to be honest with myself that's a young man/woman's field. It's pretty difficult to make a go of a career in Math or Physics, or most of the sciences starting out at 30+. I suppose I have the intelligence to do just about anything, I'm not trying to brag just being honest, but I don't have the time anymore for those types of careers. I've always enjoyed computers so I thought, yeah sure a degree in IT whatever why not. But you can't approach you life that way now can you? Your career is something that defines you, you are going to be doing this the rest of your fricken life you better enjoy it. You have to seize it for yourself. It has to be something that YOU want to do, not something that's just "oh sure ok I guess". I'm in between semesters right now and one very bad sign I see is that despite feeling better I have no motivation to start going back to work on learning programming and other IT work.

Instead I find myself starting other pet projects, my family photo project, weight loss, getting out, passing my drivers license. These are all fine and good as far as improving my mood, but when push comes to shove I'm going to have to go back to the IT work sooner or later. Your career should consist of something that is self motivating. I should be eager to get back to making my own programs, releasing test games and the like in the android store, learning C++, etc... The fact that I feel like waiting until I'm forced back to these things by school's time tables, does not bode well I think. But then if not this, then what? It's getting too late in the day for me to just continue dicking around till I find my calling in life. Sure if it were up to me I'd do photography, or travel writing, or become a movie critique, but let's face it while there are some opportunities to be hand in these fields they are, if anything, more dog eat dog than the cubicle world. You have to be fucking good and stand out, you have to REALLY want it, and for me these are more childish aspirations, it's the part of me that wants to live on the fringes of society because all the "normal" jobs scare the hell out of me in one way or another. So I find myself stuck yet again. What to do? What to do? I guess I'll just have to bite the bullet and continue in the IT diploma. I just hope that I hold up emotionally.

[Tobin S.]

1. You don't have to enjoy it.

Not enjoying their work is the reality for most people. Most people do not have the luxury of liking what they do for a living. Look at it this way. You can either break your back for low wages or use your brain to make a living and probably extend your life as well as your well being and financial situation. Speaking as someone who is currently busting his back and has been for over 20 years, and also as someone who is currently in college, I cannot wait to start getting paid for using my brain. It won't bother me too much if my chosen field isn't all that sexy.

Do your photo project and your weight loss and get your driver's license. Those sound like good summer projects. Then get back to school when fall semester rolls back around. I'm a 40 year old senior at Indiana University. It's never too late to try to improve your life, but If could have anything in the world right now it would more time. I sort of wish I was in your shoes. You're 9 years younger than me and you have the opportunity right now to set your life's path on a good trajectory. I do not envy where you are in your mind right now, but give it a little time, give these new medicines an honest shot, and you may find yourself steadily improving. I got the right meds when I was 30 and my life just keeps getting better because of it.

[Locut0s]

2. Thank you, you are right...

I know most people don't love their jobs. I guess I've been raised to think that I should end up in such a position, though both my parents don't exactly love theirs (my fathers is closer). I suppose the thing that worries me most is the uncertainty of it all. I've never worked a white collar job in my life, this coupled with the fact that change has never been a strong suit of mine puts me in a difficult situation. I've never been good at not knowing what to expect even in the best of times, and usually such situations have ended up in disaster for me. It's a wonder that I managed even the 2 retail jobs in some ways. But you are right the right path is really quite clear, I'm just scarred (something I'm quite good at by now). I need to just put my head down and plow on through. Stop burning bridges and just grab the proverbial pull by the horns, to hell if it's my calling in life or not. I wish I felt like I had the strength to do so. I can't say I don't for certain but I don't feel it in my bones by any means either.

[dixiegrrrrl]

3. You would be surprised at how people "found" their careers

and even more surprised at how many people have a path of many careers.
It is actually very rare that people "always knew" what they wanted to be, and even more rare that they stuck with it for 50 years or so. Most people fell into their life's work, and/or changed careers down the road of their life.
So thinking " I am going to be doing this job/work/career the rest of my life" is not necessarily accurate.

Let's tackle the "too old" thing first.
How old will you be in 10 years if you don't go to college?
Assuming college is the right thing for you right now.

Another secret is that humans don't have a set age for being "grown up", and it isn't until 30 or 40 that we start putting our experiences together enough to realize WHAT we really want. That's why you hear of so many "mid life crisis's".
If you think in terms of what you want to do for the rest of your life, it can be overwhelming.
If you think in terms of what you really would like to do for the next 5 years, it is much less daunting.

You would be surprised, I think, to learn how many people excel at their "hobby" and have rather mundane jobs just to support
their real passion. Like photography, or travel writing.
( My brother wanted to be an actor, never made it, got a 9 to 5 job and stumbled into being a book narrator, is now making enough money he can quit his 9-5 job. He is 50 + years old)

Another thought....do you know how much plumbers and electricians get paid?
LOTS.
They are always in demand, too. Even the stupid ones. Imagine how much a smart one charges!
There are millions of people who want to 'work with their minds" all competing for the same jobs.
But what this economy is going to need is people who can keep things running.
check out this article:
We Need a Fixer (Not Just a Maker) Movement
http://www.wired.com/opinion/2013/06/qq_thompson/

wishing you luck...

[Locut0s]

9. Thanks dixiegrrrrl...

Yes I realize that I don't have to pick a career now and that things are very likely to change down the road. In fact the numbers show that most people in IT have many many careers over the course of their lives. Gone are the days of working for one company. I'm just scarred of what I need to do and don't feel at all secure in my choices, change has never been easy for me.

I think I need to do exactly what you mention in terms of making my hobbies my life and the career a support mechanism for them. That may turn out to be the best route for me.

Yes I've thought of getting into the trades. In fact I very nearly started a 4 year program to certify myself as an electrician. But I chose IT because it's the more familiar choice. If things don't work out though I will quite likely take a look at the trades again!

Thanks!

[olddots]

4. I think you're a very good writer

so your career might be in front of you literally .

[Locut0s]

7. I've thought of it...

As I wrote in my OP about travel writing. I've had others, including my parents suggest I try to get into some form of writing. However that's a very uncertain career at the best of times and in my current situation I need to secure some form of steady income so I can move out of my parents house and not rely on them any more. Thanks very much for the compliment though!

[elleng]

5. Take the Myers-Briggs

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

Sorry can't take more time now, but this might help give you some ideas.

[Fumesucker]

6. Eh, I'm sixtysomething and still don't know what I want to be when I grow up

I've done a lot of different kinds of things in my life and I'm pretty damn good at quite a few of them but have never really been able to narrow it down to just one thing I want to do.

Good luck.

[Locut0s]

8. Lol, yes I know many / most people today have many careers...

I suppose I'm just being a scaredy cat about life.

[Fumesucker]

10. "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans" -John Lennon

"No matter where you go, there you are" -Buckaroo Banzai

[olddots]

11. whats good in a sick way about a crappy job mart is

doing something creative and risky is not much more risky than the sure thing. You as an artistic type person have the obsessive and compulsive traits which are awesome by the way in the arts AND sciences .

[Locut0s]

12. This is true, I never thought of it that way, thanks dots!...

I'm not sure I'll bite the bullet and actually do something interesting but you have made me feel better about even making regular choices!

[hunter]

14. I know nothing.

I'm total failure in the "career" category.

So it seems it will be odd "contractor" 1099 form jobs forever and I may die on the streets if I turn out half as nasty and crazy as my grandma was. At least she had a good union Rosie-the-Riveter welder pension and a house that was paid for when she crashed and burned.

I don't have any safety net but family and a long family tradition with relatives who never were fully functional in ordinary society.

But I really don't want to be the family subsidized hermit, the guy who comes to the family picnic and says nothing, staring at the ants on the trees, God-only-knows what's going on inside his or her head.

I write stuff. Here I am.

[mopinko]

15. oh to be 31 again

i went to art school at 27, thinking that was my last chance to get my shit together.
that was so many twists and turns ago, i can't even count. all amazing. all full of adventure that took my down a lot of rabbit holes.
at 58 my "hobbies" also, very unexpectedly, led me to a good place to retire.
not that i can say i ever got my shit together. i was always off after the next thing that consumed me. but i am still here. raised pretty good kids.
helps to marry well. ;-P

sometimes you do just have to spend some time listening to your own drummer. you really have to put yourself first. you have to find you. that might need to be your career, and it might not end well. but i can tell you that is the path to the careers that soar.