not having such a hot day

[fizzgig]

you know that place between tears and screaming while breaking shit? that's where i am today. tangled with the husband last night because i had no interest in his nihilism and fatalism. i'm still asleep when he leaves for work most mornings, but he always wakes me to say goodbye and give me a kiss. not this morning and i'm pretty upset about that. on top of that, work has been a shitshow this week and tonight isn't going to be any better.

i told my boss yesterday that i'm taking tomorrow off, which is turning out to be a very good idea.

things have been so stable lately, so i'm even more pissed off about the current situation.

i just need a hug.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

1. ...

[fizzgig]

4. thanks

[elleng]

2. Darn, fizz.

Stay away from blue cheese!

[fizzgig]

5. i was honestly horrified by the thought of that ice cream

made by my iron chef husband or not

hoping today is just a hiccup and that tomorrow will be better. hope you are well, my friend

[elleng]

9. Probably a hiccup,

considering recent pleasantness.

[Scuba]

3. Hugs ...

[fizzgig]

6. squeeeeeee!

i needed that

[CaliforniaPeggy]

7. Oh, I am so sorry, my dear fizzgig...

Things can be so bumpy sometimes.

I hope stability and joy return to you and your husband soonest!

[fizzgig]

10. thanks, peggy

ups and downs are, of course, part of life, but this is one of those times i'm having trouble dealing with it. all i can do is get through today and hope for a better tomorrow.

[polly7]

8. I hope tomorrow will be a much better day,

sorry for what you're going through.

[URL=.html][IMG][/IMG][/URL]

[fizzgig]

11. thanks

i have some cooking to do tomorrow and that usually relaxes me, so i'm looking forward to it.

love the polar bears

[libodem]

12. Come to mama

[libodem]

13. Here is a meme

To make it better:

[img][/img]

[fizzgig]

15. still working on that one a bit

day started off with another tangle, too. i love him, but i don't like him much right now. thanks for the hug.

[get the red out]

14. Hugs for you

I am sorry for you going through this shit, hopefully it will get better.

I was in "that place between tears and screaming while breaking shit" just a week ago, I know that place well...................................

[fizzgig]

16. i at least finally got some tears last night

helped for a bit, but today is off to a bad start.

i hope you're feeling better

[get the red out]

17. Gradually

Saw my Dr and therapist this week, so tired of the melt-downs. He prescribed something to take when I start losing it.

It is just so hard when we have extra issues. One thing I've finally learned though is to ask for help. That has been very useful to me this week.

[fizzgig]

18. it can be hard to ask for help

and those meltdowns are so exhausting. i haven't really had any since we finally got my meds right last summer.

i'm off to my doc next week and will talk to him about this if the situation hasn't improved. i've taken my emergency pills the last few days just to keep it together.

it's been harder for me lately since i haven't seen any of my friends in months. we text and fb, but i just need a flesh and blood person right now. he's the only one i have and he's not talking to me. i'm just so lonely.

but i'm looking forward to this weekend because i get to see two of my besties.

[mopinko]

19. argh. that cut off feeling.

somehow DH always found a way to poke holes in relationships, and keep me lonely. it worked for him for a long time. till i really had proof.
when i rescued a needy little parrot to replace my beloved baby who flew out the window, he managed to piss on my joy. started a huge hubub the day they brought him over. acted like a spoiled brat all day.

i just decided that i deserved that joy. he didn't have to join in, i get it he doesn't like parrots. but to piss on it. that i didn't deserve.

((((:hug )))))
you don't deserve to have your partner make your life harder.

[fizzgig]

20. it's starting to look like there's no salvaging our relationship

Last edited Wed Mar 12, 2014, 01:31 PM - Edit history (1)

he decided that he wants live on a farm or commune and also decided he isn't going to go back to his job, so i'm screwed right now. we can't live on what i make alone and i don't see why i should have to support him at this point.

we talked quite a bit yesterday, but we now have to talk about our living situation. i'm going to have to go the roommate route regardless and that's just piling on the upset.

i don't know what i'm going to do.

edit: we did a bit more talking this morning and he's finally opened up to couple's counseling. if we can fix us, i'm willing to think about going with him. we'll see, but finally a small shred of hope.