What do you do when you have no options

[angstlessk]

My husband gets drunk and is extremely verballally abusive, but sober he is kind...

When he drinks, I drink...though I would like NO ALCOHOL ever in this house.

Unfortunately, he is drunk more often than he is sober, as am I.

I am trapped in this house, trapped in this relationship...

I am sorry I came here since there is nothing to be done.

[zipplewrath]

1. There are always options

Just not necessarily "good" ones.

The right answers are usually simple.

The simple answers are usually hard.

[democratisphere]

2. Why don't you stop drinking completely.

Then go from there. You can make better decisions when you are strong and sober.

[angstlessk]

4. You are of course correct

I am as much an alcoholic as he is.

The only difference is if it's not here we can't drink it...but he keeps buying it!

[democratisphere]

7. I wish you well in your difficult situation.

Remember, no excuses!

[fierywoman]

6. I agree. You will find the option(s) that work best for you

by looking in the places that speak to YOU as a human being. Not him, YOU. He may or may not follow your lead, but that is his concern not yours.

[irisblue]

3. Consider calling your local AA for a ride to a womens meeting.

[angstlessk]

9. this is a shit site...where do I go?

https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources

[elleng]

5. There are options. You have to be willing to recognize that,

and accept the consequences.

[BigmanPigman]

8. The Days of Wine and Roses was just on TV.

Watch it, then go to a meeting. Save yourself...that is your only option.

[irisblue]

10. Depression and alcohol are a bad mix.

Check your PMs

[PJMcK]

11. All of the above are good suggestions

You could also talk with your doctor or religious advisor, if you have one. They can help you find resources.

Good luck.

[shenmue]

12. So sorry

[mopinko]

13. no one can save you but you.

you have to decide you are worth saving first. then you will find the way.

[steve2470]

14. very true and very wise

A few other thoughts intended, sincerely, to be helpful to anyone who reads this forum.....

1- Most people have a "bottom" to their pain, upon which they get galvanized to do what they need to do. Some do not ..and some just die miserable. Sad, harsh and true. I firmly believe for most human situations, where there is a WILL, there is a WAY. It may not be easy, cheap or fun, but there is a WAY out. Change it, adapt to it, or both.

2- Some people are called in the psych professions "help-seeking/help-rejecting": they seek help, only to avoid implementing all rational and sane approaches. Hmm. At some point, everyone just gives up, including most psychiatrists, therapists, nurses, friends, family members, doctors etc. One can only complain so long, before one gets tuned out. Also sad, harsh and true.