What I live with right now

[angstlessk]

Somehow I got hooked up with a man I tried to get away from, who threatened to kill my family if I did not stay with him.

I believed him because he walked 20 miles to confront me after I tried to leave his ass.

Now after 40 years with the creep..I am 70 and subject to his drunken horrors

What he has done to my 'what used to be my home' is unbelievable!

Every room in the house is full of boxes and clothes, some to the ceiling!

How can one live like this?

I claim to need health support...he needs it worse! But How can I force it?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. You need a lawyer, one who is experienced in evictions.

He needs to go.

And the sooner the better.

Or else you need to get out of there.

How did you stand it for so long?

[furtheradu]

2. So sorry to hear You're going thru this!

Please don't think about what "he needs"..
What do YOU need? YOU.
When I was going through major depression, at my lowest, I had a Vision, a flash of InSight.. what would I do, if I were the Mother of a Woman going through that depression? I did THAT.. I "mothered" mySelf, NURTURED mySelf.
Took a while, & had to check mySelf, OFTEN. But I made it to the Healing process, & I BELIEVE..
YOU will, too. BELIEVE IT.💖

[get the red out]

11. Great advice!!!!!

We shouldn't destroy ourselves trying to appease others.

[angstlessk]

3. I don't want empathy, sympathy,or any sort of aphy

I have not left my house in 10-15 years?

Have not gone downstairs in 10 years

I have not combed my hair in 6-12 months.

I spend most of my time in bed, hoping for sleep and dreams.

And I tried to stop drinking, but why not?

[enough]

4. What do you want?

[angstlessk]

5. Just to get it out there

I don't even cry any more.. made my bed..I allowed a bully to take control of my life and now I live with it...only he has gotten drunker, but he never hits me, he just uses words.

He is a very sick person...I think, if he had his druthers, he would be gay. He seems to hate women, but fears black women so he hooks up with white women, then abuses them.

I wish I could help him become who he is before he dies...thought the death of his parents would set him free, but he has siblings!

[3Hotdogs]

6. Does your community have a social services office where you might get counseling

and/or financial assistance?

[angstlessk]

7. For what purpose?

To leave him? After 50 yeas it's hardly something to do?

I am the only income for him..he spends too much on alcohol...

[3Hotdogs]

8. If he is abusive, nuts to him and his needs.

You both need help but your responsibility is to yourself.

The purpose is to find if there are options to get you into a better position.

[3Hotdogs]

9. You post above that your goal is to get out of there. Social Services can help you do that.

[Tobin S.]

10. What you just described in this thread is no way to live, k.

It's incredibly abnormal. You have to understand that. It sounds to me like you want freedom but are too afraid to leave. Social services and law enforcement can help you.

How dangerous do you think your partner is?