The Happy Chemicals
I have been reading about the hormone oxytocin and how it plays an important role in mother/child bonding and in intimate relationship bonding. Then I found out there are 4 "Happy Chemicals". Also I was curious why it feels so good to have a crush, and I read that is because of the hormone dopamine. Curiously, I remember thinking a long time ago, how it must be nice to "Be In Love with God", to have that dopamine release, the way I assume many nuns experience it, being married to God, or to have a dopamine release by hugging a tree.
Dopamine
Oxytocin
Serotonin
Endorphin
I know some anti-depressants try to increase your serotonin, but there are active ways to increase this. I found a good, very short explanation of this.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/files/attachments/59029/happy-chemicals.pdf
Dopamine is the great feeling that you will succeed at meeting your needs
Dopamine turns on when...
- an alcoholic sees a bar
- a wandering eye sees a hot prospect
- a video game player wins points
- a drug user finds a new supply
- a reward falls into your lap
But for good reasons too...
when you achieve a long-sought goal
when you take a step toward a goal
when you see another move toward a goal
when your efforts are rewarded
when you invest effort and expect it to be rewarded
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Serotonin flows when you feel important. This brain we’ve inherited seeks importance because that promotes survival in the state of nature. Sometimes people make bad choices to get that nice serotonin feeling. And sometimes people give up on feeling important. That feels bad too.
You can find healthy ways to feel important
You can’t control the world and the importance it gives you. But you can train your brain to feel confident in your own importance regardless of what others do. You can appreciate the importance you have instead of focusing on the importance you don’t have. People respect you behind your back. Imagine that instead of imagining the worst.
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Oxytocin is the feeling of trust. Oxytocin gives you a good feeling when you’re with someone you trust. Social trust feels good because social alliances promote survival. But misplaced trust does not promote survival. Solid trust bonds take time and effort to build.
You can stimulate oxytocin by enjoying the trust you have instead of focusing on the trust you don’t have. You can build new trust bonds in small steps over time. Trust builds each time expectations are met. You can build trust with anyone by making the steps small enough. Negotiate expectations that both parties can meet, and repeat, again and again.
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Endorphin is the brief euphoria that masks physical pain. Endorphin helped your ancestors get help
when injured. Real physical distress triggers endorphin. “Runners high” only happens when you
exceed your limits.
Creating pain to enjoy the endorphin is a BAD survival strategy.
Laughing and crying stimulate small bursts of endorphin!!!! Varying your exercise routine can stimulate endorphin without harmful excess.
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Ready for a re-wiring project? Don’t expect to rewire yourself completely overnight. Choose one healthy way to stimulate your happy chemicals and repeat it for 45 days, no matter what.
Making a new habit
It’s hard. It won’t feel good for 45 days. It may even feel like your survival is threatened because your brain equates old happy habits with survival. Don’t judge your results too soon. Don’t run from unhappy chemicals. Choose your new habit carefully.
3 tips for easier rewiring
1. Don’t judge yourself for 45 days.
2. Make peace with your unhappy chemicals.
3. Choose your new happy habit wisely.
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https://innermammalinstitute.org/about/
About Loretta Breuning, PhD
How I Met My Inner Mammal
I grew up around a lot of conflict and struggled to make sense of it. When I learned about the conflict within an animal herd or pack or troop, I could accept the frictions of life instead of getting frustrated. Learning about the brain chemistry behind mammalian social drama gave me peace.
My formative years were spent inside my mother's view of conflict. It fit the general pattern of: "Your Dad is bad. Your brothers are bad. You are bad." She expected me to agree with her. I learned to run from conflict. I did that by reading, especially about distant lands.
I escaped to college, where I learned that capitalism is the cause of conflict. I escaped to Africa after grad school, where I noticed that Africa has conflict too. I learned that everyone expected me to agree with their view of conflict. I handled that by reading and writing.
I moved to Manhattan and worked for a Japanese company. I was still looking for the promised land and Japan was it according to the trends of the day. But I learned that Japan has conflict too. I studied many theories of human behavior and found all of them riveting but none of them worth pledging my loyalty and forsaking all others.
I became a college professor and began teaching what was taught to me. I was intrigued by the conflict among college professors. Science conflict is certainly better than primal conflict, but the patterns were eerily familiar. I kept shopping for insight instead of choosing sides.
I became a parent. I wanted to protect my kids from conflict, but of course human life is more complicated. I hoped to at least teach my kids the difference between internal conflict and external conflict so they could find their internal power instead of always blaming externals.
I became a zoo docent, and studied animal conflict in depth. Animals cooperate too of course. Their brains are always choosing which option best promotes survival in each moment. Most people around me think nature is all good, and "our society" is the cause of all bad. But the facts don't support this, and we are free to follow the facts.
We mammals seek the safety of social alliances because that promotes survival. Our social groups have conflict because each brain evolved to focus on its own survival. Mammal groups stick together despite the conflict when they have a common enemy - because that promotes survival. It's not easy being a mammal!
We mammals are born helpless and vulnerable. Reptiles are born with survival skills and leave home as soon as they crack their shells. We mammals need others to meet our needs while we wire up our brain. The bigger a mammal's brain, the longer its childhood, because it takes time to wire a brain from life experience. Our early dependency frees us to adapt to the niche we're in instead of being born adapted to the world of our ancestors. The first circuits of our brain are the core of our survival learning, which is why it's so hard to re-wire them.
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