I lived in northern NY state (Utica, and then a bit north) until I was 14. My mom moved the five kids still at home to Tucson, AZ, to leave an abusive, alcoholic husband/father. The change was profound. Not only to a different climate and different part of the country, but from a very small town to a much bigger, far more sophisticated city.
I have had some intermittent contact with my NYS classmates. I am incredibly sorry that I was not able to attend the 50th reunion back there thanks to a genuine conflict of schedules. (I'd committed to attending a science fiction thing, World Con, in Kansas City, before I knew that dates for the 50th, and it was simply impossible to make it to both) But I was able to get updates on various class members, and I was struck by how many of them, including many of the best and brightest of that class, had never left that part of northern New York. The class valedictorian did get away and seems to have had a terrific life. I'd love to talk with him, but that probably won't happen.
And so back to Tucson. In a high school class of over 400 (oh, and I claim membership in two different classes at that school, the one I originally started with and the one I graduated with since I graduated in 3 years instead of for -- long story, but I attend reunions for both classes.) at least a quarter never left the state, many never left Tucson, and up to half returned to the state or the city in the years since. Weird. I moved away to the east coast when I was 20, lived in several more parts of the country, and count myself very fortunate to have done so.
Even though I've been quite poor, especially early on, and got dental work thanks to a charity clinic, I've been enormously fortunate most of my life. If welfare as we now know it had been around when I was young, we'd have been more than eligible. But we scraped by. My mother was a nurse, so she knew she could always find work, which was a strong factor in finding the courage to leave my father. Many years later, when I had two small children, I finally understood on a visceral level how much courage it must have taken her to move us across the country. And I was in an intact marriage to a man who did not drink, did not abuse us, who provided quite well.
What I've carried with me through the years (and there are many more stories to tell about financial hardships in those years) was that I was lucky. First of all, and I actually understood this very early on, I was white. I didn't carry the burden of being black or Hispanic. As bad as things were at times, we'd come out ahead. Second was that I was in a good place demographically. My earning potential grew steadily, because I benefitted from the Baby Boom (of which I'm obviously a member) and the growth of the economy during the 1960's and 1970's. Don't get me wrong. Money was always tight. But I also benefitted from the lack of credit cards. I remember applying for my first Visa (BankAmericard back then) and being in awe of the power it gave me. Not that I used it much. I knew better.
Young people today get credit cards more or less along with their first driver's license. Or cell phone. They don't learn to manage debt. They don't really learn to live on their income. I'm both astonished and dismayed at the young people who pay for everything with a debit card and then blithely assure us that it is simply NOT POSSIBLE to save money.
I'm not sure how many of my former classmates, either in Tucson or New York, are Trump supporters. I do know that to every single person who voted for Trump, if this godawful tax bill passes, I will tell them that they are responsible, this is EXACTLY what they voted for.
More to the point, I understand the point of welfare and of various social programs. I've benefitted from some, and understand pretty clearly how important they are. It's long been my belief that if there is any point to our lives, it is to help each other out. And that's what I can do through my taxes (and through personal commitments such as volunteer work) and I absolutely do not begrudge that money. Because I know all too well what it's like to be in need. Which is what too many people don't seem to understand.
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