The IRS Audit
IRS decides to audit Grandpa and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised
when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said "Well sir you have an extravagant lifestyle
and no full time employment, which you explain by saying you win money gambling."
"I'm not sure we find that believable." "I'm a great gambler and can prove it." retorts Grandpa. "How about
a demonstration?" The agent thought for a moment and said "OK. go ahead."
Grandpa says "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye." The agent thinks momentarily
and says "It's a bet." Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The agent's jaw drops.
"Now I'll bet you two thousand dollars I can bite my other eye." Now the agent can tell Grandpa isn't blind
so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The agent realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. "Want to
go double or nothing?" Grandpa asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of
your desk and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop on your desk."
The agent is cautious now, but decides there is no way this old guy could manage that stunt, so he
agrees again. Grandpa stands on the side opposite the wastebasket and unzips his pants. He strains
mightily but he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side so he pretty much urinates
all over the agent's desk.
The agent realizing he just turned a major loss into a huge win is extremely happy. But Grandpa's attorney
starts crying and the agent asks him why. "This morning when Grandpa told me he had an audit, he bet
me 25 thousand dollars he could pee all over your desk and you'd be happy."