tRump Accuses New York Of Padding State's Mortality Rate By Including African American Deaths

[ffr]

Dismissing the statistics as “totally overblown,” Impeached President Donald tRump publicly accused New York health officials Monday of inflating the state’s Covid-19 mortality rate by including African Americans in their calculations of the total dead.

“It’s very unfair if you start adding in a bunch of people who died of the virus but were also very clearly black,” said tRump, who pointed to Texas, with its incomplete data-gathering and low rates of testing in minority communities, as a model other states should emulate. “Obviously, if you count blacks, it’s going to throw off your estimates of how bad this thing is.

We’re doing a fantastic job containing the virus, but sadly some governors are stooping so low as to fake their numbers—not only with blacks, but with people born in other countries, too. You gotta ask whether they’re just doing this to try and make me look bad.”

The impeached president went on to demand that New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo personally apologize to him for harboring African Americans to begin with. - The Onion

More Freudian Slip fact based, than anything. Not funny, but how weird that it sounds so truthful.

[captain queeg]

1. Holy shit. He just can't keep it in.

[captain queeg]

2. Oh just saw it was the onion

But nowadays the lines are so blurred.

[Newest Reality]

3. I think I get it now...

The Onion. This is ALL their fault. Their constant stream of parodies opened some sort of a predictive programming wormhole in our timeline and, like some sort of spell, became an incantation that evoked it all into existence. Maybe there is some way to reverse it?

I think that explains it. I don't know why I didn't see it before.

I am going to write them about this and see if we can get it cleared up pronto.

[c-rational]

4. Agreed, how weird that is sounds so truthful.

[kelly97]

5. what??

oh wow