Which Wolf Will You Feed?

[mother earth]

After the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, as many people feared an ongoing and vicious spiral of retaliation and global violence, a wonderful and well-known Cherokee legend went viral on the Internet: An old grandfather is speaking to his grandson about what causes the violence and cruelty in the world. "In each human heart," he tells the boy, "there are two wolves battling one another -- one is fearful and angry, and the other is understanding and kind." The young boy then asks, "Which one will win?" His grandfather smiles and says, "Whichever one we choose to feed."

It's easy to feed the fearful, angry wolf. Especially if we've experienced great wounding, the anger pathway can become deeply ingrained in our system. When our old sense of injury or fear is triggered, the intolerable heat and pressure of anger instantly surge through us. Our attention gets riveted on the feelings and thoughts of violation and all we want is revenge. Often before we have any sense of choice, the nasty comeback is out of our mouth, we've slammed a door, hit "send" on an ill-advised email, put someone down behind his back.

Yet, we do have a choice. Meditations that train the heart and the mind directly deactivate the anger pathways that propel our habitual behaviors. While the limbic system acts almost instantaneously, we can develop a response from the frontal cortex -- which includes the social centers involved with compassion -- that interrupts and subdues the reaction. This is where cultivating mindfulness comes in.

Mindfulness is the "remembering" that helps us pause and recognize what's happening in the present moment. Once we've paused, we can call on the higher brain centers to open new possibilities. We can soothe ourselves, recall another person's difficulties and vulnerability, and remember our own goodness and strength. No matter how painfully we're triggered by the world's violence and insensitivity, we can direct our attention in ways that carry us home to our intrinsic sanity and good-heartedness. This awakening is our evolutionary potential: For the sake of our own inner freedom and the well-being of others, we can intentionally feed the understanding, kind wolf. (continued at link)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tara-brach/forgiveness_b_2370116.html?utm_hp_ref=healthy-living

[get the red out]

1. I like this

I don't like the word "forgiveness" because I don't feel "forgiveness" of something horrible done by another is mine to give; my personal goal to remember that vengeance is not mine to get.

This I absolutely LOVE though:

No matter how painfully we're triggered by the world's violence and insensitivity, we can direct our attention in ways that carry us home to our intrinsic sanity and good-heartedness.

That's something incredibly freeing, when it can be practiced.

[Fire Walk With Me]

2. Forgiveness frees yourself from energetic/karmic attachment. The other party

must go their own way.

[get the red out]

4. I very much support freeing onself

I just don't identify that necessarily with "forgiveness". Forgiveness is too loaded of a term for me and if I use it, it defeats the whole purpose within myself.

I very much like the idea of releasing myself from attachment, that is so incredibly positive. In my mind, if I release myself from the attachment then what someone else has done is theirs, and not mine to "forgive".

I just see "forgiveness" as a negative, as using up one's own energy and somehow giving it to the bad situation or the cause of the bad situation. Like when some horrific event happens and a day or two later the media is hounding the victims asking if they "forgive" the deed. They are demanding that victims not detach, but put their energy out in a way that will console others not involved by saying all is well. That's what I think of when I think of "forgiveness". Another misuse of that concept is when a victim is told they MUST FORGIVE but are never presented with real tools to rebuild their internal feelings of safety and self-worth. I see that quite a bit. It makes me sad.

[mntleo2]

5. Believe me I am struggling with the same thing ...

...I have a family situation right now that has caused me deep pain because of betrayal. I cannot forgive this, and I am having a hard time with forgiving that betrayal...but I do know that forgiveness begins with forgiving yourself.

At first this seems counterproductive because if you are the victim, why in the HELL would you forgive yourself since you were the one who suffered the damage? This goes back to the "woulda, coulda, shoulda" thing. You know you better than anyone and like most people, the "you" is far more critical of yourself than almost anyone else. This is where forgiveness comes in because it is saying to yourself, "Yes, this is the way I am, but am I a monster, stooopid, or asking for it because of who I am, what I decided, or where I went? No, of course not!"

Because the victim may (and usually does) have an internal conversation going on where they are asking themselves over and over, "If only I had done this instead of that then this whole thing would never have happened." It has nothing to do with forgiving the perpetrator, it is about one's self first. After one accepts the fact that their "choices" are not the issue, it is the person who caused the damage who is the one at fault, then MAYBE this forgiveness can spread to the one who caused the damage ~ or most often the acceptance that it happened, it was not your fault in spite of the "choices" you made, and your "choices" were not the cause, then you can move on.

Hope this helps ...

Love Cat in Seattle <-----been there done that and I agree that releasing myself from the attachment is not only hard to do but sometimes impossible if the internal questions cannot be quelled.

[get the red out]

6. I understand the self-blame game

I'm a frequent player of that! At some point things simply "are". I can't control all choices in the world.

I supposed I do not see the need to use the word "forgiveness" for release.

[tama]

8. "The Great Condemner"

can also use some forgiving...

[Why Syzygy]

9. The story....

doesn't sit well with me. "Forgiveness" is part of the Jesus myths. Of course the Church would want people forgiving all the ugliness they committed. And they could gain control and riches by selling God's forgiveness. It's disgusting.

Also interesting that this 'legend' is always attributed to Natives. As if they should forgive the genocide and continuing mistreatment and horrific living conditions. Forgive? I don't forgive what has happened to them. It makes more sense that some Catholic money grubbing Pope wrote it.

I think this does a much better job of explaining the story.

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Who_wrote_Two_Wolves_words_of_an_old_Cherokee_Indian

The folk story of "Two Wolves" is attributed to many different tribal people. No published accounts of Cherokee oral history, folklore, or philosophy-of which their are many-include this story and it's basic premise of good battling evil is foreign to the Cherokee worldview.

This story, as many others like it, (even IF it were native in origin) would not be attributed to any "one" person as those are verbal stories handed down for generations.

Please note that this story is Inconsistent with native story forms, Native Stories do NOT contain the 'Moral of the story' at the end like non-native stories do.

For instance:
The story in Native Form would be:

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

Non-Natives would add this to the story:

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

This difference is social-religious between the two cultures and is a good way to tell which stories maybe of native origin, and which are not.

[Fire Walk With Me]

10. I'd first seen this story/metaphor as an American Indian answering a child's question

about what Christianity teaches/believes.

[Why Syzygy]

11. That makes more sense.

I feel safe in saying, it does not reflect Native teachings. They did not have *religion*. They didn't view man as fatally flawed, irreparably split, save the action of another. The story has appeal because our culture teaches that we have "bad parts", due to our own choices.

[Fire Walk With Me]

12. The part of the Bible which interests me is that Christ taught we are spirit,

living in flesh, that we have forgotten and are stuck in the cycle of birth and rebirth, and that it is perhaps impossible for man to escape this; so Christ created an enormous positive field which can be used to cleanse one of negative karma (or perhaps even positive, which can force rebirth). That immortal life is possible beyond death when one masters awareness of spirit over matter. (The Bible has much to teach as a Mystery School text.)

I do not agree that it is impossible for us to either escape this cycle through the Teachings, or for us to complete our incarnational blueprints and to move beyond it as a matter of course. It can be Difficult, however. And it's getting off-topic

[get the red out]

13. Thank you, I find that fascinating

I'm at a point where I am tired of the black and white view of things; which usually ends with people just trying to live their lives being told, not to let go, but to GIVE UP.

I like what you described as the Native American view, not so much the Christianized version.

Here is the first definition I found listed for "forgiveness":

Forgiveness is the renunciation or cessation of resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, disagreement, or mistake, or CEASING TO DEMAND PUNISHMENT OR RESTITUTION.

The caps are my emphasis. I fully believe in people being treated justly, but if "forgiveness" is to cease to demand restitution for a terrible wrong of some kind, that's not justice and I believe it is demeaning to those who do not do great harm. I believe that one can detach emotionally enough so that the flames of hatred are not burning you up from the inside (that's self abuse IMO) and still work toward a more just society. This is just what I have come to in my life, subject to change but I don't see where I am as defective because I have an alternate view of the word "forgiveness".

Edit to add: My IDEAL (not doable by me really, since I become insensed over horrific injustices to the innocent and am working on detaching there) would be to not be eaten alive by rage against people who abuse animals or children, but still call for justice to be done, real justice, so to make these crimes less common in our society. Justice is to work toward ending that person's damaging behavior, take the pedophile off the streets, create tougher laws that take animal abusers off the streets for greater lengths of time, laws that require real counseling and follow-up. Right now I do get too eaten up over these issues, but I'm working on more emotional balance, but I still think justice needs to be served.

[mother earth]

14. Does it matter if the story is truly of native origin? Aren't we really talking about explaining

the reason for cruelty in the world? Who says forgiveness has to be a prerequisite? I see this story as being a simple message, anger and fear breeds hatred and violence, and isn't that where cruelty begins? Fear is spoon fed to us on a daily basis & NOTHING good ever comes from it.

Frankly, I think any indigenous culture would applaud the story, regardless of its origin, and I just don't see the "Jesus myth". Wouldn't that be a turn-the other cheek type of thing?

[Why Syzygy]

16. Does it matter?

First I want to say that I've heard this story many times. I wasn't in possession of the explanation I posted until I felt an uncomfortable nudge about seeing it again. It didn't sit. Only then did I search the story; and the link/explanation I posted above is what I found. It reveals a reason for the discomfort I felt.

ME asks:
Does it matter if the story is truly of native origin?

It does to me. I try to be supportive of indigenous populations. Whoever made the transition from a Bible story(** below) to a Native story had a motive. I believe it may have been in order to give it more an air of authenticity, to piggyback on the honest reputation of civilizations who are and have faced genocide, and to slip Biblical culture past the gate. It is fundamentally dishonest.

ME asks:
Aren't we really talking about explaining the reason for cruelty in the world?

This will be answered in the background posted below. As far as I'm concerned, it is cruel to misrepresent an indigenous culture, especially in order to push one's own agenda.

ME asks:
Who says forgiveness has to be a prerequisite?

I was responding to a sub-thread about "forgiveness". But the original huffpost article IS pushing "forgiveness" as the preferred response to someone who is murdering innocent people (911). So I guess Tara Brach is saying that.

ME asks:
I see this story as being a simple message, anger and fear breeds hatred and violence, and isn't that where cruelty begins?

I don't think so. Anger and fear are perfectly valid emotions. They serve good purposes. It doesn't logically follow that those emotions will cause someone to be cruel. Cruel is an action. We don't have control of our emotions. We do control our actions.

ME asks:
Fear is spoon fed to us on a daily basis & NOTHING good ever comes from it.

Frankly, I think any indigenous culture would applaud the story, regardless of its origin, and I just don't see the "Jesus myth". Wouldn't that be a turn-the other cheek type of thing?

Just because something is on the spoon it doesn't mean we have to swallow it. I definitely do not believe any indigenous culture would applaud the story. Here is a link from a real indigenous culture describing how best we can be an ally. It isn't about 'us'; and it certainly isn't about dishonestly representing them.

http://www.lynngehl.com/my-ally-bill-of-responsibilities.html

"Turn the other cheek"? This is the link and a snip from the original Bible story**.

http://tithenai.tumblr.com/post/17655980732/the-history-of-the-two-wolves-two-dogs-story

I have been receiving many messages questioning my statement that the “Two Wolves” story is not Cherokee, nor is it Native American/First Nations in origin. In response to my credibility being questioned, I have done some fairly extensive research that will conclusively prove that this story does not originate from any Native American legend.

This story seems to have begun in 1978 when a early form of it was written by the Evangelical Christian Minister Billy Graham in his book, “The Holy Spirit: Activating God’s Power in Your Life.” This version of the story can be found in Chapter 7: The Christian’s Inner Struggle on Page 92 and it is as follows:

“AN ESKIMO FISHERMAN came to town every Saturday afternoon. He always brought his two dogs with him. One was white and the other was black. He had taught them to fight on command. Every Saturday afternoon in the town square the people would gather and these two dogs would fight and the fisherman would take bets. On one Saturday the black dog would win; another Saturday, the white dog would win - but the fisherman always won! His friends began to ask him how he did it. He said, “I starve one and feed the other. The one I feed always wins because he is stronger.”

Billy Graham continues by explaining the story. I will now provide a few excerpts to show the connection between this story and the later versions as well of how it’s grounded in Christianity. “This story about the two dogs is apt because it tells us something about the inner warfare that comes into the life of a person who is born again. We have two natures within us, both struggling for mastery. Which one will dominate us? It depends on which one we feed.” (Page 92)
(...)
For those of you who are indigenous people, I would especially like to ask that you help me to touch on the concept of race, whether or not this story is an example of Cultural Appropriation.
(...)

[mother earth]

18. TY, WS, sorry if my OP was offensive to anyone.

IMO, while fear does serve a purpose, too much of it can be a tool of propaganda to incite negative emotions. I feel like we've been living through the worst of Shock Doctrine for a very long time. That's just my opinion, yes.

Maybe I should repost the above without the Cherokee legend reference.

In any case, our lives are always about choices...yes, indeed, we do not have to swallow the fear fed to us via the media, if only we all realized that.

[Why Syzygy]

19. I wasn't offended!

Not at all, ME. I appreciate the fact that I got to do some digging and crystallize my feelings about this. And, yep! We are encouraged to feel afraid and guilty. That's advertisement! If you have a little odor here or there, or an imperfection, we are encouraged to SHOP to solve our flaws. That's not right. Same thing goes in politics. They are still selling a product. Personally, I am road weary. I have to regularly 'check out' and watch comedies, and not worry about the world for awhile. Even if we look to a Bible story, Jesus said, be angry and do not sin. I get really tired of people trying to tell us that our feelings are our flaw. A few weeks ago I really started something that has been a long time desire .. mindfulness meditation. It is mentioned in that article. I would need to go back and read it again to determine if her idea and my idea of MM is the same. It's a letting go and allowing experience. I like it so much because it allows me to be me and only me. Still have a lot to learn. There's nothing about 'forgiveness' in meditation. When we are at our raw center, all that nonsense melts away.

Please don't feel you have to edit your contribution here, especially on my account. I believe we can all be free to be ourselves. If this is not a venue to do that, I'm going to be in the 'wrong' most of the time! <3

eta:
I've been having trouble getting to this site for the past few days. But the course that has finally gotten me to meditate regularly is this: http://www.peterrussell.com (online meditation course).

[mntleo2]

15. You have given me some food for thought ...

...and your thoughts have enlightened me to an unspoken lesson I missed while spending time with Suquamish elders as a middle aged adult. I am struggling with words to express this but here goes ...

The reason I loved being around these elders was something that I could not put into words about their acceptance of the "whole" me, even though I was not native (my kids are Yaqui and went to their school). As what they decide WILL be heard in their community, I was reminded that their people had resided in the area where I lived for over 10,000 years, so it was important for younger folks to keep in mind the elders were looking at a FAR bigger picture than what was happening right now when sometimes they seemed so "out of touch". Therefore it was important to respect this when decisions were made that may not have seemed "current". I got the sense that I was also a part of that quilt of time and the whole me was about everything I was ~ not the "bad" part of being white and a part of a culture that had tried to destroy them. This kind of acceptance is something at the age of 60 I am wanting to pass on to my kids their friends, my grandchildren, and their partners, I think.

When I read about the Great Souls coming through to teach us (like Seth) the one thing they say is that there is no "good" or "bad" in the universe. What I gather from them is that suffering is often a vehicle for learning lessons that were agreed upon before our souls come to this dimension. As our souls advance through incarnations we WILL suffer injustice and what we do with the consequences is part of the lessons we have come here to learn. I get the sense that death does not seem the worse thing to happen, since to them it is like taking off an old piece of clothing

In my own struggles with bad things that have happened in my life, I do try to keep in mind things like karma and although I do not believe in predestination, that on some level I wanted these lessons and therefore in some ways "orchestrated" them. I see my own part in this world that, much like planning a trip, I had a road map of sorts, but as with things I have planned in this dimension, unplanned things can happen that thwart me from my destination and during the journey, what sort of responsibility do I have with whomever is affected by it?

My one question that I wonder about when it comes to forgiveness is, much like the fluttering wing of the butterfly setting into motion a hurricane down the road, whatever I set into motion, how far do the "falling dominoes" go that I am responsible? I know that each domino that is falling is a decision someone else made in response, but am I the one who is responsible for the whole thing because I pushed the first domino? For instance while I do not excuse Hitler, I have never heard of any story that he killed anyone himself, and so who is responsible for the decisions made by others to carry out his wishes? What is his (and my) karma going to mean if he (nor I) personally did not harm anyone ourselves? Someone can hold a gun to your head to force you to do something, but it is still YOUR decision to do it rather than die...see what I mean?

Hoo boy your observations have given me A LOT of thought! I want to thank you for that and look forward to whatever you all have to say.

Love, Cat

[Why Syzygy]

17. What wonderful

memories of the Elders. And your description of dominoes makes sense. I prefer to accept the version of our guilt or innocence from David Gregson, Jay S. Efran and G. Alan Marlatt, in their book, The Tao of Sobriety. We did not choose. I know that's a popular opinion in the New Age, and especially Carolynn Myss (who I like). But it gives me no comfort. Real choices can be re-chosen. I am much better able to function when I approach life from a place of innocence. And when I accept my innocence, that leads to accepting the innocence of those who came before me, and so on. The ultimate "blame" has no beginning. Forgiveness is not required when the innocence of our births upon this plane is the starting point.

Much love on your quest.

[Fire Walk With Me]

3. Love that metaphor.

[tama]

7. Good story

I've remembered it many times lately.