Sunday is Easter.

[Sibelius Fan]

That’s the holiday where Jesus rises from the dead. If he sees his shadow, he goes back to being dead for another six weeks.🤣

[FarPoint]

1. I had a good laugh....

Now I am awake....

[ItsjustMe]

2. I was born on Easter Sunday

March 29th 1959.

My mother gave me a Christian name, Timothy. But I was never a believer, I've been an Atheist my whole life.

[A HERETIC I AM]

8. You are 39 days older than I am!

5/6/59

I tell young people (because I'm old now ! ) that I was born when there were only 49 states, just to see the puzzled looks!

I also tell them on occasion that 1959 was the only year in which this country had 3 different flags!


Nice to know another 49 stater!

[Think. Again.]

3. So did he immigrate somewhere after that or is he still just hanging around in Gaza?

[Voltaire2]

11. He was physically raptured into heaven.

As in of course he had to quickly disappear again, otherwise how could his non presence be explained?

[Think. Again.]

17. Wait, if he was "raptured to heaven" anyway...

....why didn't he just stay dead the first time?

Nevermind, I'm not really interested.

[Voltaire2]

20. its stupendous rubbish, 2000 year old nonsense

why on earth would you expect it to make sense?

Anyway, the man-god instance has to die in order to cleanse us of our sins, those sins being accrued starting at birth by just being born due to the unforgivable offense of eating a piece of fruit after being told 'NO!'. But as man-god is an immortal god (and also somehow exists in all times) man-god can only be symbolically dead, not dead-dead. So man-god peeps out of his tomb, sees a rabbit, eats a rabbit egg, forbids rabbits from ever laying anymore eggs, goes around and tickles all his apostles to prove he is back, and then gets into the transporter and zooms to heaven, which is just above the stars and planets, like about maybe a mile or two over our heads.

[Think. Again.]

22. Good lord, I hope they're not letting the kids hear this crap.

[NoRethugFriends]

4. I plan on rising from bed on Sunday

[3Hotdogs]

5. If he doesn't see his shadow, what does he do on Monday?

[A HERETIC I AM]

10. Rolls that big ass stone back and has a wee nap.

[Not Heidi]

15. Says eff it . . .

. . . goes to the liquor store for beer and smokes, then goes home and binges "The Crown." Because what else would a "king" watch?

[werdna]

6. Yeaster

When Jesus rises from the bread!

[rubbersole]

7. We need to stop picking on bible stories....

...because when donnie dollhands and VP dental implant salesperson Kristie Noem get inaugurated they will set up 'camps' and round up everyone that didn't buy an official Lee Greenwood endorsed New Testament (bound in fake leather!).

[A HERETIC I AM]

9. They call tomorrow "Good Friday"....

Wasn't so good for the Jesus dude, was it?

I'd say "Bad Friday" would be a better name.

Or just Friday.

[Voltaire2]

13. he spent a weekend being dead.

Really not that big a deal. Literally a dirt nap.

[Think. Again.]

23. wasn't he making bathtub wine before that?

Goodness knows I've lost a few weekends like that.

[Voltaire2]

12. And this is why rabbits, their eggs, and the hatched peeps are part of the celebration of Eostre

the celtic goddess of spring.

[Not Heidi]

16. Eostre?

I've never heard of this goddess. (Not that I've studied goddesses.) I'm guessing this is where we got the word "easter." (?)

How did celebrating the Celtic goddess of Spring become celebrating a bogus resurrection story?

[Voltaire2]

18. Oops german, not celtic.

Here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C4%92ostre

Anyway to answer your question: "How did celebrating the Celtic goddess of Spring become celebrating a bogus resurrection story", first the mythical resurrection is quite simply a syncretic repetition or echoing of polytheistic rebirth myths that celebrate spring. English christians absorbed the pagan festival of spring and made it their own. The pagan rebirth symbolism persists with the rabbits and eggs.

[Not Heidi]

19. Thank you!

I love, love, love new information.

(German - yay! I'm half German.)

[muriel_volestrangler]

30. That's all a bit Anglocentric. Just because Anglo-Saxon and German Christians uses a word derived from

an Anglo-Saxon month (and, it's presumed, a goddess), that doesn't mean that's how Easter was thought up. Those groups (and a lot of the proselytizing of Germany was done by English monks) were late arrivals to Christianity, and the Greek, and Latin names (Pascha, from the Hebrew for 'Passover'), and all the stories, were established about 500 years before the Anglo-Saxons started believing them.

You might suggest that Mediterranean myths influenced the story, but the Germanic tribes were nothing to do with it.

[Think. Again.]

24. I was under the impression the christian cult was...

...built from a little bit of all the other cults in the area at the time, something about the Roman clerks needing a more simple tax population.

[Cuthbert Allgood]

14. I watch a zombie movie every Easter.

Currently taking suggestions for this year's flick.

[Think. Again.]

25. If a vampire flick would be close enough...

...(you know "drink this blood, the blood of Chris...", rising from the dead, all that) then I suggest "The Hunger" with Catherine Deneuve and David Bowie.

Fun little 1980s flick with great music.

[Cuthbert Allgood]

27. Maybe I expand my tradition to a vampire flick on Holy Thursday

Celebrate the last supper day!

[FalloutShelter]

26. Still a big fan of...

28 Days Later.

[Cuthbert Allgood]

28. Solid choice. Love that movie.

[JoseBalow]

21. Bless you

[303squadron]

29. If your supposed deity

celebrated an infanticide (and he did), then I have the right to question your concept of morality.