The unbearable wrongness of Gwyneth Paltrow

[progressoid]

Paltrow merely aims to help everyone live their best life just like her, but rich people do weird things, recommend them to their friends, and then think they’re lifestyle experts and also doctors and qualified to tell other people what’s wrong with them. In Goopland, this includes advice on how to diagnose a parasite you probably have (and that is destroying you), how to best shove a fancy rock into your vagina — sorry, your yoni — to improve your sex life and, as always, how to detox.

But what’s at the heart of Paltrow’s empire? Is she just a dedicated health-seeker taking us on her path for utmost physical and spiritual well-being? No. Paltrow’s Goop is pure, unadulterated, blood-diamond free, organic-certified, biodynamic, moon-dusted bullshit. And you should avoid it at all costs. Here’s why.

...https://theoutline.com/post/1394/the-unbearable-wrongness-of-gwyneth-paltrow

This is a thing of beauty. I wonder if any of her devotees will read it.

[Warpy]

1. You nuts? Her devotees only read her stuff and maybe Mercola if they're ambitious

but they're too busy getting their hoo-hahs steamed to read much of anything else.

However, she's provoked many hours of pure glee among the foul mouthed knitters, especially over those dumb jade eggs. Rock is porous and those things are going to REEK after a few uses. I suppose she thinks that's proof of their detoxifying ability. Sensible people know they're harboring nasty bacteria and yeast and that stuff is growing. Yuck.

Now it's not all bad news. Apparently, some of the stuff on the detox diet has been developed by decent chefs and is quite tasty. However, the good news for we mere mortals is that we'd need a magazine underwriting the cost to afford all the specialty crap she sells to go with it. Maybe she'll put out a cookbook some day.

Personally, I'm grateful to her for publicizing the crazy shit rich trophy wives who are trying to defend their old goats against the next trophy wife are willing to do to cling to extended youth with a death grip. She's provided hours of laughs for those of us who have no alternative but to go happily to seed.

http://people.com/food/gwyneth-paltrow-goop-diet-detox-2017-we-tried-it/

[progressoid]

2. Hmm.

Actually, a couple of those recipes do look kind of tasty. But no, I'm not going to get sunflower butter or sun potion - whatever that is. Guess I'll just have to get rid of my toxins the old fashioned way; through my excretory system.

[Kaleva]

3. Her article on anal sex is accurate though.

"'During anal intercourse you're basically putting a plunger up someone's butt. Accidents are likely to happen at one time or another,' he said. "

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4343520/Gwyneth-Paltrow-s-Goop-publishes-anal-sex-guide.html