I've grown accustomed to his face...

[tavernier]

I lost my husband of nearly 40 years, four weeks ago today.

Yesterday I was watching My Fair Lady on some channel, and Rex Harrison was singing this song, although with the words Her Face. It was so touching, poignant, that I googled the musical. One of the anecdotes that they mentioned was that he told the producers that every time he sang that song it was to his wife who had passed several years before.

I thought about how true the sentiment was... many years after the first bloom of love and lust, we longtimers settle into a comfortable and close relationship with our spouses. Just the loss of seeing their most beloved faces and voices brings the deepest pain.

I suddenly felt the truth to this piece of music, and although it made me tear up, it was somehow comforting.

[50 Shades Of Blue]

1. Lump in throat here...

[WhiteTara]

2. ...

I'm sorry for your loss. I hold my beloved closely so that when I say "I've lost my true love" I will hold the best memories just as you are.

[Freedomofspeech]

3. So sorry for your loss...

Sounds like you had a beautiful relationship. Peace to you.

[Mme. Defarge]

4. Somehow it's the quirky little ways

a person has, or had, that evoke such tender rememberances. My sweetheart of forty years was definitely not a "foodie", certainly never had a weight problem - unless it wasn't eating enough. So, I would offer him food without being overbearing about it, saying something like, "Would you like one of these little cheeses?" Invariably, he'd reply with, "Oh, maybe." That meant "Yes."

"Oh, maybe." Gulp.

[tavernier]

5. Jim would say "watcha makin'?"

whenever he heard me gathering together pans and ingredients at breakfast time, his favorite meal. I swear I hear it in my head as I putz around the kitchen in the morning. He wouldn't be the least bit interested in my yogurt and strawberries, however. I haven't cooked a "real" breakfast since he passed.

[Mme. Defarge]

6. Memory eternal.

[babylonsister]

7. My sincerest

condolences to you. That is a lifetime of memories; may they comfort you.

[berni_mccoy]

8. .

[gademocrat7]

9. Memories sustain us.

So sorry for your loss.

[auntAgonist]

10. I'm always amazed at the number of things that can evoke the deepest of feelings

It's heartwarming to hear that music was comforting to you, that you found a piece that even although it made you tear up it did comfort you. How wonderful.

I'm truly sad for your loss and I hope that you have been surrounded by those who love and look after you.

Take care of yourself, these words touched me ... thank you.

"I thought about how true the sentiment was... many years after the first bloom of love and lust, we longtimers settle into a comfortable and close relationship with our spouses. Just the loss of seeing their most beloved faces and voices brings the deepest pain "

May your pain evolve to feeling like gentle hugs and caresses.

kesha.

[tavernier]

16. I live in hurricane country

and hurricane is the best way I can describe these past few weeks. When the bands come, it is impossible to escape the emotional chaos. Then in between the bands, I can rest, even laugh with friends. But it is getting a bit easier, probably since I know the patterns now.

[sinkingfeeling]

11. I know how the little things can bring a new bittersweet pain. Keep

yourself well.

[irisblue]

12. Mr Tavernier

:holding up a frying pan for breakfast eggs:

[tavernier]

18. Yes

I feel him nudging me toward the bacon drawer and fry pan.

[irisblue]

19. ::smacks forehead so he was bacon not sausage not ham huh?

Happy memory of there bfast then

::holds up skillet ::

[volstork]

13. So sorry for your loss.

[jazzcat23]

14. I'm still reeling...

from tearing up myself...So sorry for your loss! I lost mine almost 3 yrs ago and it's still very difficult for me to hear music we loved, can't watch movies we loved yet. Time is the only thing that can heal our pain. Take good care...I'll keep you in my prayers.

[we can do it]

15. Hoping your good memories bring you peace and never fade.

[MLAA]

17. Sending you love and comfort 💌 n/t

[niyad]

20. so very sorry for your loss, tavernier. tears just reading this. glad it brought you comfort.

[tavernier]

21. Thank you and all who responded.

Some pretty awesome and thoughtful people hang around this joint. Guess I'll stay a while longer.

[niyad]

22. you are a valued member of this crazy community, and your du family is here for you.

[auntAgonist]

23. You are so welcome to hang around here with us for however long you want to ..This group and these

loving people are the reasons I lobbied to have a place here on DU for all of us suffering a loss.


I'm always willing to chat privately with anyone who wants to.

Please know you're never alone here.

My best wishes to you.

kesha.