Bereavement
Related: About this forumLabor Day 2017. My ex-boss died this morning.
Tragic on so many levels. ALS-related condition where he started losing his balance a few years ago, lost his ability to use his fingers, and finally today, lost his ability to breathe which led to his heart stopping. His 74th birthday would have been next week.
As most human beings, he was complicated. He could be one of the sweetest guys, a mensch. Patient, articulate, a good listener, wise, funny. Also he could get unduly nervous and could start shouting out of that fear.
He was an attorney. In NJ, Thompson Reuters has a few designated individuals deemed "Super Lawyers". He was one of them. One of his most famous clients was Madelyn Murray O'Hare. He successfully defended middle-school boys who were suspended from school because they wore buttons that said "No Uniforms!" superimposed on a photo of Hitler Youth. (That made the International Herald Tribune.)
His partner, Karin, died only six years ago from a glioblastoma, a deadly form of brain cancer.
My boss was a true mentor to me. He literally taught me how to be a competent attorney, let alone an attorney. He knew the NJ Court Rules backwards and forwards, always getting the numbers correct. He was fair as an adversary. If the opposing attorney called him, asking for an extension to file a brief or a motion, my boss would give it to him/her as a courtesy. And he was a legal scholar when he wrote his briefs, the law impeccably cited, the arguments tight and cogent. He kept my feet on the ground and never hesitated to correct my errors.
Having a law firm in an office with 2-3 other attorneys meant we had a birthday party for somebody nearly once a month, making us like a family.
He had his share of personal tragedies and disappointments and yet he slogged on with his shoulders stooped a little more every day.
He finally was compelled to sell his practice two months ago. And now he's gone. He hung on as long as he could.
He went into a nursing home early in August. I visited him there. He had difficulty talking and feeding himself, so I fed him. My last visit was exactly a week ago. I may have been in denial, but I thought his condition could be managed, like Stephen Hawking.
I buried another ex-boss two months before my father died three years ago. Another mentor.
But this is different. Knowing this man was a life-changing experience.
Sigh! He spoiled me for future employment.
CaliforniaPeggy
(152,301 posts)Thank you for sharing it with us.
ALS is a horrible, devastating disease. It is always fatal. And it is a terrible way to die. He faced it with courage and dignity. Both these qualities shine forth in your eloquent post.
I am sure you are living your life in a way that honors his influence. And I am also sure that he's proud of the man and the lawyer you are.
BainsBane
(54,831 posts)TxDemChem
(1,918 posts)He sounds like such a wonderful man who brought a light into this world.
onecent
(6,096 posts)I hope you can find one that will spoil you and you can spoil him back!!!!!
mgardener
(1,900 posts)To someone else because of this man.
What a wonderful tribute to him.
shenmue
(38,538 posts)GentryDixon
(3,017 posts)He sounds like a wonderful mentor & friend, as your were at the end.
Too cool to think Madelyn Murray O'Hare was his client. She was such a thorn in the side of so many, he had to be an upstanding man to take her case against what I am sure was great negative press.
You have done him proud in your eulogy to him.
Scarsdale
(9,426 posts)It sounds like it was an honor to work for him. He made a terrific impression on you. So, he left a legacy of decency and competance. RIP.
grantcart
(53,061 posts)I am sure, my your warm article, that he valued you beyond the work environment.
emmadoggy
(2,142 posts)It's hard to lose someone who has made such an indelible impression on our life.
planetc
(8,293 posts)Whether he could talk or not, I'm sure he felt better for your presence and your care. We all have to make that trip, and having someone standing on the pier with you is surely better than not--it would remind him of the good things in his life. I have begun to feel that we should definitely hold peoples' memorial services while they're still with us, and can enjoy them.
fierywoman
(8,125 posts)by writing these words and putting them here. I'm sorry for your loss.
iluvtennis
(20,913 posts)Lifelong Protester
(8,421 posts)This is a great eulogy.
no_hypocrisy
(49,041 posts)One wife committed suicide. Another wife divorced him.
His legal assistant embezzled a substantial amount of funds from the firm, from which he never recovered personally because of the betrayal.
His own partner withheld $50,000 from the firm's assets.
And he kept putting on his suit, shined his shoes, came to work, went to court every day.
He didn't complain, didn't whine. It saddened him and weakened him. And he continued.