I learned something today

[Marthe48]

I'm staying at my friend's house in the neighborhood I grew up in. She in rehab and not well.I stopped her house to drop off my stuff, then left to go see her. I saw a guy who I thought was a neighbor from way back. He was who I thought he was and we talked for awhile. He was my older brother's age, maybe in between my oldest and next oldest brothers.
My oldest brother and my aunt were killed in a car wreck in 1960, when I was 8. My brother was 16. All of these years, I thought my aunt was driving. He remembered the accident. He liked my Dad and talked him often. Regarding the accident, the neighbor said my Dad told him that my brother was driving. Somehow, the official story said it was my aunt and all of these years, that's what all of us thought, at least I thought so.
All of my family who might have known what version is true are dead, except my sister. I can't imagine how she'll take it. I have been stressed lately and can't process this news, just don't know what to think.

[Tetrachloride]

1. ty for the story.

i am one of the last 3 nearby family to know something’s about my parents.

i appreciate the emotions of finding such “lost” information.

[Diamond_Dog]

2. That must feel so unsettling.

I’m so sorry about your aunt and your brother. Did you know the circumstances of the accident? Was the other driver at fault (if there was one).

[Marthe48]

3. I remember what we were told

They were coming back home after my parent's store closed for the day. The car they were in turned left across traffic. It was a standard and stalled. They were hit by a semi. My Dad and grandmother were behind them and saw the wreck. The ambulance crew couldn't get my brother out. His foot was wedged. My dad laid across him and kicked the side of the car out to free him. My aunt was d.o.a. and my brother died a few hours later.
I think that's all for now.
How do we ever come to terms with a loss like that? I was doing okay with the old version, not too good with the newer one.
Ty for asking.

[SheltieLover]

4. Deepest condolences on your loss, Marthe

I am so saddened to hear this new news had retriggered your grief.

[Marthe48]

5. Thank you SheltieLover

I have a lot going thru my head. It'll settle.

[SheltieLover]

7. I hope your pleasant memories bring comfort to you.

I know your emotions will settle but please take good care of yourself. Grief is strange -- it's not a linear process.

[Marthe48]

9. No, it isn't

It shapes and reshapes. Every time something else happens, the old stuff gets bounced around.

[SheltieLover]

10. It will eventually resolve, Marthe

But it's very disconcerting in the meantime.

[livetohike]

6. I'm so sorry for your loss Marthe48. Would it help

you to know the truth? Maybe from a police report, or newspaper archives?

Just this week I received a newspaper article notification from Ancestry.com ( I’m the family genealogist). It was regarding a car accident I was in with my Grandma and Uncle. He was the driver and 26 at the time (1961). I was 9 years old and spent 10 days in the hospital. Grandma and my Uncle spent three weeks there. Somehow, reading about the accident brought back the memory and a sense of peace. Wishing you the same .

[Marthe48]

8. That is something I wonder

I thought of trying to find a police report, but after all this time? My parents were grateful to the officer who handled the accident. Fog of time for me. He was either an officer they knew from our town, or an officer in the town where it happened. My Mom said whatever cop was on the scene first didn't get the truck driver's name, other info. The officer who did get the info became a family friend and as time went by, often stopped by our house to say hi. If the report was fudged, will the true story ever come out? My life since that night, I've thought my aunt was driving. If my brother was, then she was blamed when it wasn't her fault. My parents blamed the truck driver, but Dad also blamed my aunt, one time to me, after I was married. I thought for a long time that the trucker couldn't be blamed entirely, because they turned in front of him.
If there is a different truth, it means my Dad and grandmother lied to us and that is another shift of my reality. Did my Mom know? Would she have told her brother, my uncle? As I type replies, I can't help thinking of events around the time of that night, and it gets complicated fast.