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In reply to the discussion: We have made an adjustment to DU's "No bigotry/insensitivity" rule: please read [View all]IngridsLittleAngel
(1,962 posts)I had a friend many years ago and sometimes mix-ups would happen. A she in RL - and I mean absolutely identified as she, used she, left no doubt she's a female. Online? Chose to present as male. So sometimes I would slip up - refer to the RL one as "he" or vice versa. I tried my best but sometimes it'd slip, especially depending upon the context. Ultimately we just decided it would be easier to use "they" or "them", no matter whether we were talking about online or real life.
But the best thing to do? Ask them. Most people are fine telling you. And if they say they prefer she, or he, or they, or even just their name? Go for it. And, yes, I do know a few people who find it easier to avoid any issue over pronouns and say "Just use my name." If that makes them happy? All good.