Top Ten Worst Songs Made Since 1950

[AZLD4Candidate]

This will be something I do or will try to do every week. A top ten list of things in pop culture. The list is subjective to my opinion, but feedback and entries you list could be used in future lists as long as the feedback is relatively polite. Now, on with the list.

Music is the universal language. A good song sticks with a listener forever while a bad song sticks in your ear forever. This week, we will examine some of the worst popular songs made since 1950. To make this list, three things must exist in the song:

A: It must be a popular song from the time it was made.
B: The lyrics and/or music must be so horrifically terrible is becomes an ear-worm the second you hear it.
C: Cringe level of the song must be off the charts.

Without further ado, here is my list of the Ten Worst Songs since 1950 along with an honorable mention.

HM: Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da - Beatles: You know a song sucks when even bandmates claim it is the worst shit they did. John Lennon and George Harrison panned this piece of shit. Inspid, almost sexist lyrics, stupid ass music riffs that are annoying, and sound effects in the background straight out of Dr. Seuss. Sorry, this is the low point of one of the greatest bands ever. At least The Offspring did it better with “Why Don’t You Get a Job” in the late 1990s.

10. Rack City - Tyga: This song is just six words long. Lyrics written by a toddler rapped by someone who sounds like he’s sleeping through the song, and the fact that it made it all the way up the charts shows how rap has fallen from Biggie, LL Cool J, Naughty By Nature, and Tupac. The simplistic drum, bass, and finger snap music that accompanies it proves it was written by a toddler.

09. Fuck It (I Don’t Want You Back) - Eamon: I don’t know what’s worse. . .the lyrics, the terrible flow, or the whiny, high pitched vocals. Actually what made it worse was it was a smug, slick marketing ploy by the production company to make this and its female response “Fuck You Right Back” with the cringe lyric “I had better sex all alone.” Hell has places specifically for “artists” like Eamon and Frankee.

08. Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus: Overplayed, stupid, and generic, Billy Ray’s early 1990s country barf-fest made me hate county music for years. The best thing about this song was Weird Al ripping it to pieces by begging the DJ “please don’t play that stupid song no more.”

07. Christmas Shoes - Newsong: This is the definition of insipid Christmas music. Only Santa Baby (which makes the singer sound like a sex obsessed homewrecker) come close to the over-the-top mawkishness of this tripe. It wasn’t even endearing on the level of the child.

06. Shape of You - Ed Sheeran: One lyrics shows how pathetic and shallow modern music is: “I’m in love with your body.” Not your mind. Not your soul. Not your ambition, just your body. Screw you, Ed Sheeran. Most of your songs are trash, but this one takes the cake.

05. Honey - Bobby Goldsboro: This is a song’s answer to a garish jumpsuit. If one can sit through this garbage without metaphorically throwing up or turning this off, more power to you. Who cares about that stupid tree? This song is consistently considered one of the worst ever made on many lists.

04. (I Wanna Be) Bobby’s Girl - Marcie Blaine: Most songs from the 1950s and early 1960s for women are extremely cringe for modern audiences. It’s My Party, Judy’s Turn to Cry, Leader of the Pack, and Chapel of Love are a few that so that the men that wrote these songs knew nothing about women and didn’t care. But Marcie Blaine’s Bobby’s Girl is probably the worst, and it is the singer’s sole ambition to be the girlfriend of some guy’s girl because “it’s the most important thing to” her and if she was, “what a faithful, thankful girl” she “would be.” Setting feminism back decades.

03. Barbie Girl - Aqua: Life is plastic, it’s fantastic. You can fix my hair, take me anywhere. Lyrics by an airhead, sung by an airhead for airheads. Just the anthem the shallow part of the 1990s needed. It’s the 1990s answer to Madonna’s “Material Girl.”

02. Simple Simon Says - 1910 Fruitgum Company: The name of the band explains it all. This group sucked, everything they sang sucked, it was 1960s cheesy bumble gum and one needs to be stoned or loaded to enjoy it. All it is a sung version of simon sez. Perfect for the discerning five year old, but this song was meant for adults. Even the music is terrible.

01. We Built This City - Starship: How the mighty fall. They went from edgy with White Rabbit, Volunteers, and We Shall Be Together in the 1960s, to Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now and this trash. They even complain how corporation change their names all the time, but this band changed its name three times. This song is consistently #1 on most worst song lists and listening to it, with its over repeating chorus lines and really shitty music riffs, one can understand why it is #1 on this list as well.