Alabama schools now allowed to use non-certified teachers

[PatrickforO]

2. Wow. So...imagine what an interview might look like...

Fundy School Board Member (Big BM): Well, now...you ain't one o' them homa-secshuls, is ya?

Actually Qualified Teacher (QT): Uh...

Big BM: Well sit down.

QT: (sits)

Big BM: You are wearing a suit. You one o' those city slicker libruls?

QT: Well, I just earned my master's degree in physics and I'm really looking forward to getting in the classroom!

Big BM: Just a minute there college boy - you believe the Bible is the inerrant word of God, right?

QT: Uh...not sure what to say...

Big BM: Well, how old is the earth then?

QT: The most current estimate is 4.543 billion years...

Big BM: No, college boy, the earth is 6,000 years old and that's straight from the Bible!

QT: (horrified expression, can only stare)

Big BM: Cause we don't want none of that liberal science in Alabama.

QT: Well...then there's really nothing more to say (stands and walks out)


Big BM farts loudly, adjusts his cammo pants and eyes his assault rifle sitting proudly in its gun case. He opens his top drawer, lovingly caresses his dog-eared Bible then pulls out a flask and takes a swig of 'shine.