#notallmen- cause while women talk about violence, make sure no mens feelings are hurt 👀

[Soph0571]

I’m not here to mansplain the experiences of women. My point is that this commentary was responded to by men insisting that they not be tarred with the same brush. While women talked about their experiences of rape, sexual assault and daily street harassment, the only response men could come up with was to wave their little victim arms for fear that they be thought of badly. Social media even came up with #notallmen, just to make sure no boy feelings were hurt.

And yes – even here I have to do it – not all men responded this way. Not even most of them. There you go, diddums.

Yet the fact that even a minority of men insisted that an exception be made in the normal social contract illuminates the problem. It’s about territory. While women spoke about their experiences and fears, (some) men felt they had the right to barge in and try to dominate the terms of that conversation; many with the express aim of trying to de-genderise the issue: it’s about crime, not the behaviour of (some) men. Some of the (some) men even tried a self-defeating equivalence by pointing out that men suffer more from violent crime. From other men.

[link:https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/people/sean-moncrieff-of-course-most-men-are-not-rapists-why-does-this-need-to-be-said-1.4511921#.YFWl3LIj_T4.twitter
Emphasis mine

For (some) men, they need to hijack the conversation women and girls are having because for (some) men their fragile ego's can't take it when the conversation is not all about them, or about calling them out for their behaviours which (may) endanger women, they need to make it all about them. Misogyny can by about benign neglect of the danger and women face as much as it can be the cat caller or the rapist... but #notallmen mansplaining to women and girls that their lived experience must be wrong, because as (some) men they NEED to make it all about them...