Autism hidden in plain sight

[SheilaT]

11. Yes! They have what we "normals"

(and I really must put that in quotes) think is a bizarre reaction. But it's their perfectly normally way of reacting to the world.

Some years ago, when my son was in college and living in a dorm, I asked him if guys on his floor ever complained that their girlfriends were high maintenance. He looked at me as if I were slightly crazy myself, and said, Yes, of course. I said he needed to think of all of the rest of us as high maintenance, because from his perspective we are.


We want meaningless chitchat that's totally unnecessary. check.
We want frequent phone calls, even when nothing new has happened. check.
We especially want a phone call on our birthday and Mother's Day. check.
We expect you to keep us informed of various details in your life, like a new job. check.

That last one in particular. A couple of years ago my son was job hunting, and I knew he had an interview coming up. A couple of days after it I called him up, and chit-chatted about various things, asking (just one question of several) how the interview went. He said it went well, and then about five minutes later in the conversation said something that clearly indicated he'd be starting work the next week. Went well? They hired him on the spot! But did he immediately phone mom to tell her? No. Did he announce his hiring at the very start of the phone conversation? No. We often refer to him as the Master of Understatement.

Now I don't want anyone here who has Asperger's to think I am criticizing, because I definitely do not intend it that way. I'm just pointing out the differences, and I absolutely treasure them. Other than I wish he'd call me more often, I wouldn't change anything about the way he is.