you ever just feel like dying?

[Evoman]

I'm only 34 and some parts of me wants to line a long life. I'm getting married so I want to grow old with my partner. We don't have kids but so we wanted twork until we could retire early, travel a couple of times a year and just enjoy our loves till we are old and feeble.

But there is also this part of me sick of being palliative, and in pain, and always sick. I don't havre enough energy to walk two blocks, let alone work or travel. my days pass laying on the couch our in bed on the internet our playing video games. and sometimes I just wish I was dead. I feel like getting off treatment and just dying

But I can't. I can't because I want to spend whatever time I have left with my love. sigh. I'm not sure what I want to articulate here.

I'm just so tired..