Endo cancer IIA survivor (14 yrs), now they found a mass in my colon

[woodsprite]

Went for a CT scan for kidney stones and they found a mass in my colon on the right side.

I'm beating myself up because I kept putting off the colonoscopy. They did find 2 kidney stones on the right, but they weren't obstructing anything, so I'm thinking the right side/hip/back pain I've been feeling has been the mass. So afraid right now and feeling so guilty that I may have shortened my life with my grown kids, chance to see grand kids at some point, my retirement with my husband, etc. Can't stop crying. I've had all weekend to do that since they told me Friday at 4pm that they saw the kidney stones and something else concerning that I'd have to call my GP about. GP's office didn't open until this morning. I was also supposed to start the COVID vaccine this morning, but the GP said I probably shouldn't do that until I talk to the gastro guy AND because I had an allergic reaction to an antibiotic recently.

The gastroenterologist is supposed to call me back this afternoon as soon as he gets in his office. I do feel good about him. He is immaculate and thorough in his exams and notes write-ups. He is also and independent practice not tied to any single hospital. My husband and I both got orders for colonoscopies back before Christmas. I wanted him to go first because he has been having gastric/bowel issues off/on for years and they seemed to be getting worse (involved abdominal pain and rectal bleeding). I was getting back on track with all my dr visits and planned on scheduling mine for summer after our FL trip.

It's so hard to tell if I've had any other symptoms other than the back/hip pain. I mean since my endo cancer diagnosis and surgery 14 yrs ago, intimacy has always been a bit painful, so that wouldn't tip me off. I've had internal/external hemorrhoids since having my son 20 yrs ago and haven't noticed anything different with them. I seem to grow multiples of kidney stones every year or so, and the pain felt just like that to me. No abnormal bleeding other than blood in the urine from a nasty kidney infection, but that cleared up with sulpha/antibiotic. I had bowel issues over the last week or so, but it seems to have been related to the med they gave me (Bactrim) because it's been clearing up since I stopped taking that (moving from a Bristol scale 7 to a 5 so far). I'm diabetic, so my Metformin and Januvia can affect the bowels depending on carb/fat intake, and in December they started me on Trulicity which slowed my digestive tract/bowels down, made me feel really bloated, made the back/side pain worse so I stopped taking it. Pain got better (back to just what I thought was kidney stones), bloating went away, bowels got back to normal. I have lost some weight, but I've been trying to, and it's a side effect of both the Trulicity and the sulphadrug for the kidney infection (12 lbs since starting the Trulicity in December).

I'm sorry. I just needed somewhere to vent and dump all the thoughts racing around in my head.