This may be it

[TigressDem]

85. I hear how hard it is.

Your life is complicated and miserable. People have rejected you. However, none of that makes you garbage. Reject those kinds of thoughts.

You reject 12 Step groups and I get it. But consider this, any self help group that has a freewill donation model is basically free therapy. Right now? You need to get out of your own head because you don't see solutions right now, only problems. You need to see someone in your similar situation who has found a way out.

And do not kid yourself that you are "helping" your mate by killing yourself. Pure BS. More likely you will simply push him over the edge too. Someone having panic attacks over a work situation is in a fragile space and the death of a spouse will be like a volcano blowing up in his life. There is absolutely NO KINDNESS in suicide for the survivors.

My BFF of 30+ years and my husband are both Bi-Polar and although they have had some very rough patches they committed to take responsibility for their own mental health and if they are in a space they need help, they ask or at least accept help. They don't always "like" what I have to say and visa versa, but we have a policy of keeping each other honest that works for us.

I don't know what your solution is, but I know there is one.

My BFF can't work in her chosen profession any more either so she started volunteering and even that she had to tweak because it was SO exciting it started interfering with her sleep. But just like anyone she feels better when she feels useful. Me too. That's why I like to work even if the work itself sucks like a hoover.


Try being grateful for one thing each day. It can't hurt and it might help.


Sending good thoughts your way.